A Reality Warper's Journey Across The Omniverse

Well, let me regale you with the thrilling tale of a charming boy whose parents must find to be otherwise as he was quickly yeeted to an orphanage, a boy who, by some cosmic joke, finds himself living in a world where even a raccoon scavenging food in the trash boasts more superpowers than he does. I mean, who needs flight, invisibility, or telekinesis when you've got the incredible gift of... well, nothing? Picture this: a planet teeming with people who can shoot laser beams from their bum, turn one particularly nasty classmate into a chocolate cake that may or may not be accidentally eaten by their teacher, and even make squirrels take over the world for them. Meanwhile, our dear protagonist's only special skill is his particularly 'interesting' humor that is being used to write this synopsis at this very moment. Impressive, right? But wait, dear reader, there's a plot twist worthy of a daytime soap opera. One fateful day, while going about his day as usual, our very ordinary orphan suddenly discovers a newfound ability. AND NO, he doesn't gain the power to shoot lasers from the tip of his penis nor enlarge it! Why would you even think of that? Oh, you nasty boy. Instead... He can now manipulate reality itself with even the vaguest of thought! Thereby also giving him the ability to turn the aforementioned abilities into reality... Now that sounds like a completely different genre. Anyways, enjoy! **This story is not serious, don't take it too seriously. For legal reasons, everything here should be taken as a joke. **On that note, this story contains quite the 'particular' humor, the synopsis is just a taste of that. It can be quite dark, visceral, 'a pain in the ass', bordering offensive, and a bit childish sometimes, so be warned as I will not be responsible for your mental well being and will hold nothing back. **Updates whenever I like to. *Might make a more frequent updates and even a Pat of Reon for early access if it gets popular enough, in which you can expect to be at least a whole month ahead of schedule for a reasonable price.