I will love my child this time

I am an evil mother, for I burdened my child with all the responsibility; my torment and my resentment.. The beautiful child who could not smile, grew up in pain and violence.. The traitor of the Empire, "Ayan de Altan," was executed in the public square... My child, whom I never looked at throughout the twenty-five years, never, smiled sadly and said arrogantly on the day of his execution: "I do not care for this Empire's hatred of me, for I never desired your good feelings. So here I am, being executed now to rid you of your final chains. The last Altan monster is executed; Altan will be erased from existence." Ayan was executed, but the pain and sorrow remained in my heart. Years after my son's death, I went to his grave and took a small bottle of purple poison, remembering what the seller said... ["It is a very harmful poison; it makes the one who drinks it suffer greatly, as if their body is being torn apart. Madam, is there someone you want to kill with such brutality?!"] I took a deep breath, opened the bottle cap, and poured it into my mouth. "I am the one who deserves to die in pain." I felt the poison starting to tear my body apart. I began to gasp and ache, tears burning in my eyes. "Ayan, I am sorry, my little one. If time could go back, I would have given you love instead of resentment. I would have held you more, told you that you are the best child in the world. I... I didn't hate you. I burdened you with my hatred for myself and my helplessness... my child, I love you, finally."