At times I wish that this year could be over just so I don't she'd another tear just so that I can smile like I used to. Only three months into the year and I want it to finish. I only came here to study just so I could accomplish my dreams, not to let self-centered kids crush them.
I'm not perfect so what do they want from me. I'm not as pretty as the rich kids I hang out with. I have long curly ,black hair tan brown skin, hazel brown eyes and I'm pretty short. I'm more like the cute little sister that nobody likes. At school I'm more like that boyfriend stealing cutie but really I would never hurt anyone intentionally.
I don't have many friends around here and my old friends from the places I once stayed, they don't really talk to me. They have their own lives and don't really have time for me. I'm an introvert and prefer to stay in my room since I don't really have friends to hang out with. As everybody can see my life is quite boring and hard too. Sometimes I just read a book about love and how the girl is miss understood but finds a guy who learns to love her, am I crazy to envision that girl as myself and wish I had a soul mate.
So far the year has been horrible but that doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'm going to keep going strong. The weekend came so fast. I was so relieved. My weekends are filled with bordem but I enjoy reading so I just read and watch YouTube videos all weekend. By the time Monday comes I'm ready to face them all. I keep a smile on my face and hope in my eyes.
The days go by without them actually causing any harm it's just name calling and a few insults but I manage to get through all of that. But one thing I don't like is...that is think I might have a crush on my bully. I know he will hurt me and even reject me but still my heart chooses him. Even as I grow my heart still has bad judgement. I can't like him, he has brought so much pain and made me cry. This can't be happening to me. Not now.
During math while the teacher is out he grabs my hands looks at me and says "you are gorgeous and smart but nobody would ever think of you as that innocent girl we thought you were" he leans in closer to whisper in my ear "I can believe that I liked a girl like you." That did it, now I can't go on. He had wiped my smile off my face, tears began rolling down my cheeks I became pale and red. I want angry, I want sad, I was finally broken. He had drained all the happiness left inside of me. He had stolen my heart and now my soul, there was nothing left in me. A few weeks went by I didn't go to school, my parents asked the school to send me all my work and I even worked ahead.
When I got back to school the cheer was gone it was like the devil had walked into church and I'm guessing I was their devil. My crush comes to me, grabs me by the waist and tells me "I missed you" is this a trap? Is it a game to him what does this all mean?