The Moon Base was packed.
Heroes, sidekicks, allies, and even a few "morally flexible" acquaintances had gathered for one reason.
To surprise the one man who never seemed to be surprised.
Naruto Uzumaki.
It was the first time in history that everyone had managed to sync their schedules.
Superman wasn't dealing with an alien invasion.
Batman wasn't brooding on a rooftop.
The Flash wasn't... actually, no, he was still moving around at super speed, but at least he was here.
Even the magical folks had temporarily paused their cryptic nonsense to attend.
Madame Xanadu had given Naruto an important clue, so he was busy speaking with her.
This gave the others just enough time to set up the ambush.
Kurama was in on it.
The big furball messed with Naruto's senses, ensuring he didn't sense the overwhelming number of immortallike entities crammed into the room.
The moment the doors slid open…
"SURPRISE!!!"
For the first time in history, Naruto actually froze.
His jaw dropped.
His eyes widened.
For a single, perfect moment, the greatest ninja in existence looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
"HOLY—!!"
He flinched so hard it looked like he was about to jump through the ceiling.
Even Superman blinked.
Diana lost it.
Kara? Doubled over laughing.
Batman? Okay, he didn't laugh, but his lips definitely twitched.
Even Lady Shiva, a woman known for her cold and ruthless nature, was smirking.
Naruto blinked rapidly, looking between Kurama, the crowd of smirking heroes, and the ridiculous decorations hanging from the ceiling.
"You sneaky little furball!" Naruto groaned, glaring at the fox inside him.
Kurama, for his part, was grinning.
"Oh, please. You should thank me. It's your first genuine surprise in years."
The entire room burst into laughter as Naruto rubbed his temples.
After Naruto recovered from his shock-induced coma, the real news came out.
He had found a clue about his homeworld.
That got everyone's attention.
But before they could spiral into serious hero mode, the music started playing, and the chaos began.
[Young blood]
Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die
Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine
Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name
Takes one to know one, yeah
You beat me at my own damn game
You push and you push and I'm pulling away
Pulling away from you
I give and I give and I give and you take, give and you take
Youngblood
Say you want me
Say you want me
Out of your life
There were groups scattered all over the grand hall, and each one had its own unique brand of madness.
The Brood Corner – Batman, Martian Manhunter, and Red Hood stood in moody silence, arms crossed, sipping what everyone suspected was just black coffee in whiskey glasses.
The Karaoke Disaster – Black Canary and Zatanna were singing beautifully… until Naruto cloned himself and joined in with questionable enthusiasm. The speakers *short-circuited from the sheer volume.
The Punch Bowl Incident – Beast Boy had been caught trying to spike the punch. Kara threw him across the room (gently… kind of).
Shiva's "Accidental" Trap – Lady Shiva had Naruto cornered at one point, attempting to convince him that he should "contribute his genes to the next generation". Diana had to drag her away before she could attempt anything "questionable."
Superman's Food Crisis – Clark had underestimated the food. The curry was too spicy for him. He refused to admit defeat. He was suffering.
Donna's Emotional Spiral – Donna was trying to enjoy herself, but every time she caught Naruto laughing and having fun, she felt that little pang of buried feelings. Kara's pointed glares weren't helping.
Naruto's Failed Escape – At one point, Naruto tried to sneak away for some peace and quiet. Unfortunately for him, Diana and Kara had anticipated this and physically dragged him back.
It was chaos.
It was hilarious.
It was perfect.
And for the first time in a while…
Naruto just let himself enjoy it.
The party started off normal—well, as normal as a party full of superheroes, metahumans, and literal immortals could be. Music blasted through the moon base, laughter echoed through the halls, and Naruto, as usual, was in the center of it all, dancing like he had been born to do this.
He spun Diana around, dipped Donna with flair, and even got Bruce Wayne—yes, Batman—to shuffle awkwardly on the dance floor. That alone should have been a sign that something was up.
And then the drinks started flowing.
Now, these weren't your average Earth drinks. These were special concoctions made by magical beings, Amazonian brews, Kryptonian elixirs, and something from the depths of Atlantis that should have probably come with a biohazard warning.
Normally, Naruto's healing factor made him immune to any kind of intoxication. But tonight? Oh no. Tonight, Kurama, the little furball of chaos, had somehow decided to let Naruto actually get drunk for once in his life. The result?
Mayhem. Absolute, beautiful mayhem.
Naruto wasn't just dancing anymore—he was breakdancing, parkour-flipping off walls, and using clones to perform perfectly synchronized choreography. The man invented shadow clone tango on the spot.
Shiva and Diana, the two best warriors in the room, took this as a challenge and joined in. What followed was a dance battle so intense that the floor nearly broke.
And then Bruce. Oh, Bruce.
The Dark Knight, the Brooding Detective, Gotham's Symbol of Fear… ripped off his shirt and started doing the worm.
Clark tried to outdo him with a Kryptonian version of the moonwalk but miscalculated, accidentally floated off the ground, and had to be pulled back down by Barry, who was laughing so hard he actually fell into a table.
At some point, someone—probably Oliver Queen—decided that the best way to celebrate was to find out who could drink the most without passing out.
Bad idea.
Naruto, being Naruto, took on every single person in the room.
Donna bowed out after two drinks. Diana, the Amazonian powerhouse, managed to last a while but had to tap out when Shiva called her lightweight (which resulted in a small fight, which somehow turned into an arm-wrestling match, which then somehow turned into an impromptu poetry contest—don't ask).
Clark tried but got tipsy way too fast (turns out Kryptonian physiology isn't built for Themysciran wine). Bruce? Well, Bruce kept drinking like he was trying to forget Gotham existed, but even he had to admit defeat when Naruto casually downed an entire jug of Atlantean firebrew without flinching.
At this point, Naruto was completely wasted. And not just wasted. Ultra Instinct Wasted.
The drinks weren't normal. Something supernatural was in the air.
It wasn't mind control—it was just... letting everything loose.
Shiva, normally composed and deadly, was actively trying to convince Naruto to have a child with her right then and there. Loudly. In front of everyone. With PowerPoint slides.
Diana was suddenly super affectionate, calling Naruto her battle brother and hugging him every few seconds. Donna? Absolutely red-faced and trying to sneak out of the room before anyone noticed she had been glued to Naruto's side for an hour straight.
Barry and Wally had started a race around the moon base, but since both of them were wasted, they kept phasing through walls and crashing into things.
Meanwhile, Bruce and Clark were standing on a table, shirtless, arms around each other, singing Kryptonian drinking songs at the top of their lungs.
Oliver Queen had challenged Black Canary to a game of darts using Batarangs, and someone (probably Zatanna) had enchanted them to chase people around the room.
Kara had somehow gotten stuck upside down on the ceiling and was laughing uncontrollably while trying to eat a slice of pizza at the same time.
And in the middle of all this, Naruto was slow dancing with a clone of himself while dramatically monologuing about his own greatness.
The next morning, the moon base looked like a war zone.
Tables were overturned. Capes were hanging from the ceiling. Someone had painted a mustache on Bruce's face (no one admitted to it, but the security footage later showed it was Alfred).
Donna had always been one to wake early. Her physical prowess, honed through years of training, and her decision to limit her drinking meant she was usually the first to rouse from slumber. As her mind slowly adjusted to reality, a sinking feeling settled in her stomach. She blinked, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings, and then it all hit her: the memories of the night before. The hazy, wild blur of it all… they had ended up sleeping with Naruto. While intoxicated and carried away by the heat of the moment, they had crossed a line none of them had expected. The experience had been far more intense than anything she had ever imagined, but it also left her with an overwhelming sense of horror. She quickly slid out of bed, desperate to erase the memory from her mind, leaving the room to find a quiet place to collect her thoughts.
Diana was the next to stir, and as she opened her eyes, she instantly understood what had happened. The situation was clear in a single glance. She sighed, shaking her head at the tangled mess they had all gotten themselves into. Yet, there was no need for words, at least not unless Naruto chose to address it. Deep down, Diana had always been curious, and in the end, it wasn't something she regretted. She was keenly aware of the lingering sensitivity in her body, a reminder of the pleasure she had felt, one that remained vivid in her thoughts. However, there was no point in overthinking it. She would simply move on, knowing that this would remain an unspoken chapter unless it came up again.
Shiva was the next to wake, a satisfied smile curling at the corners of her lips. Her goal had been achieved, and she didn't feel the need to bring it up. She knew Naruto wouldn't remember the details of what had transpired. It was the darkness that had clouded their minds, an influence she had embraced fully. Without a word, Shiva left the room, her thoughts already focused on returning to the League and carrying on with her usual life.
Kara was the next to awaken, and her gaze immediately fell on Naruto's naked body. She was no stranger to seeing the other girls around him, but what struck her as odd was the absence of Veritas. Instead, Pam was lying beside him. The sight made her pause for a moment. Pam had been one of the girls who had kept her distance from Naruto, always choosing to hold back her feelings. Kara had noticed it before, but now, it seemed as though everything had changed in a single night. Pam, however, wasn't alone in her confusion. She could sense the weight of the situation, the tension that had settled over the room, and the complex emotions swirling inside her.
Pam was the next to open her eyes, and as soon as she did, she realized the magnitude of the situation. She turned her head slightly, her eyes catching Kara's from the corner of her vision. Panic surged within her. "Damn, I'm doomed," Pam thought, feeling the gravity of what had just happened. She had never meant for this to happen, and yet here she was, having slept with Naruto. The man who had made her dreams come true, and now, she was unsure how to navigate the aftermath. She had always kept her distance, not wanting to jeopardize the delicate balance of his existing relationships, but now that it had happened, she wasn't sure what she felt. His presence radiated with an overwhelming aura of nature energy, and it was impossible for her to ignore how deeply she was affected by it. Pam wasn't sure how anyone would react, especially Naruto. Part of her wondered if he would take responsibility, but that was a thought she didn't know how to process. She didn't want that, but at the same time, there was a part of her that felt drawn to it. She wanted to slip away unnoticed, but there was no way to avoid the inevitable.
As Pam quietly slipped out of the bed, careful not to reveal her face, she quietly exited the room. Raven watched her leave, feeling a deep sense of understanding. She had known Pam's feelings for Naruto, but this turn of events had caught her completely off guard. "How did this happen?" Raven wondered. "The drinks weren't that strong… and I don't think anyone tampered with them." She sighed, her thoughts swirling. It wasn't as though Naruto had been fully conscious of the situation. In his state, he hadn't been able to control his actions. Raven, however, was thankful that Naruto's healing abilities had kept them from serious harm. Without his energy, they might have been physically broken by the night's events. The only one who could truly match Naruto's endurance was Kara, but even then, they all felt the consequences of the evening. Raven didn't know the full truth, but she was certain of one thing: something had happened that none of them had expected, and no one knew exactly how or why.
It was a tangled web of emotions and confusion, one that no one was fully prepared to untangle. But for now, the situation was simply something they would all have to live with—whether they wanted to or not.
Raven stood up from the bed, her movements fluid and calm. She extended her power, and with a subtle gesture, Kara's form floated gently away from Naruto. The air around them seemed to shimmer as Raven focused her energy, clearing the haze of lust from Kara's mind, bringing her fully awake.
Kara blinked, her eyes adjusting to the clarity of her thoughts. Her face flushed a deep red as the reality of the situation hit her. She had been caught in the middle of something she hadn't fully processed in her foggy state. She let out a nervous laugh, trying to ease the awkwardness. "Sorry about that," she said, her voice tinged with embarrassment.
Raven didn't react to the apology, her expression serious as she looked at Kara. "We need to talk. Something happened," she said, her tone carrying a weight that immediately sobered Kara.
Kara straightened up, her playful demeanor faltering as she saw the seriousness in Raven's eyes. There was no denying that something was off. Whatever had happened, it was more than just the lingering sensations of the night. It was something bigger, something they needed to understand.
"Let's talk while taking a bath," Kara said, her voice quieter now, as she landed lightly on the floor. Her body still felt strange, but the desire to move on and understand what had truly occurred pushed her forward. She walked toward the washroom, the sound of her footsteps soft on the floor. Raven followed closely behind, her mind already working through the possibilities of what could have happened, and what it all meant.