Bleach:
The VR battlefield had shifted once again, its landscapes morphing into the war-torn wastelands of the Fourth Great Ninja War. The skies crackled with ominous energy, and the ruined battlefield was littered with the remains of shattered mountains and craters the size of cities.
Ichigo stepped forward, his confidence unwavering, his spiritual pressure suffocating the very air around him.
He had trained relentlessly, unlocked the depths of his true Shikai, and gathered abilities from Naruto's world and Toriko's world, enhancing himself to near-unparalleled levels.
With Enbu activating, every cell in his body worked in perfect synchronization, maximizing his efficiency a hundredfold. Food Honor heightened his reflexes and awareness, while Life Erase made him almost undetectable to energy-sensing foes. His physical strength, already monstrous, was further amplified by the energy armor coating his form—black and white energy intertwining around him like a raging storm.
A continent destroyer in the making.
Or so he thought.
Before him stood Kaguya Ōtsutsuki, her very presence dwarfing his like an ant before a titan. Her chakra was boundless, stretching across the battlefield like an ocean, making Ichigo feel infinitesimally small.
For the first time in a long time, he hesitated.
But he pushed past the doubt. He had fought beings of immense power before. He had conquered his fears and risen beyond his limits countless times.
"No matter how powerful she is... I just have to hit her harder!"
With a roar, Ichigo raised Zangetsu, his blade infused with both its original form and the new planet-forged material that amplified its gravitational control. He swung downward, and energy dragons erupted from his sword, their roars shaking the very air as they surged toward Kaguya.
But she vanished—no movement, no sound.
Ichigo's eyes widened.
A fraction of a second later, he found himself drowning in lava.
The world had shifted, his entire body submerged in an ocean of molten heat. The lava was unlike anything natural—it sapped his energy, draining him while threatening to melt him alive.
"Damn it!"
He gritted his teeth, forcing his elemental manipulation to counter the overwhelming heat. In an instant, he teleported into the sky, escaping the trap before his energy reserves dwindled too much.
With a snarl, he slashed his sword, sending out a barrage of energy slashes that carved through the landscape like planetary destruction beams. A domain of pure spiritual energy expanded around him, making sure she wouldn't teleport him away again.
"This time, I'll keep her within my space!"
Using gravity control, Ichigo attempted to slow her down, pressing an immense gravitational force upon Kaguya. The air itself crushed inward, the ground cracking beneath the weight of his attack.
And then—
Pain.
A sharp, blinding pain tore through his chest.
He looked down.
A bone spear protruded from his torso, his flesh disintegrating into dust.
His mind screamed in protest. His very being was being erased.
"No... No, no, NO! I CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS!"
Pushing beyond his limits, Ichigo roared, funneling everything he had into a single, final attack.
A drill of energy, inspired by Naruto's Rasengan, formed in front of sword and continued to expand in size and soon looked like a mountain. This was enhanced by Enbu, Food Honor, and his Shikai's power. His body screamed under the pressure, but he didn't care.
With a final burst, he lunged forward, a strike powerful enough to annihilate the moon itself.
Kaguya simply raised her hand.
A black beam of absolute destruction shot from her fingertips, erasing everything in its path.
The world turned dark.
Ichigo had lost.
It wasn't even close.
Ichigo groaned as he woke up in his inner world, lying face-first on the endless, stormy water surface. His entire body ached, like he had been hit by a freight train—no, a whole fleet of freight trains.
He blinked.
"Oh, right… I got absolutely wrecked."
A deep sigh echoed around him.
Turning his head, Ichigo saw Zangetsu, his older, grumpy-looking manifestation, standing above him with arms crossed, his usual scowl somehow deeper than ever. Beside him, the younger, wild-looking White Ichigo was sitting cross-legged, eating popcorn out of nowhere.
"You done embarrassing us?" Zangetsu deadpanned.
Ichigo groaned, rolling onto his back. "Not now, old man. My soul hurts."
White Ichigo cackled, tossing popcorn at him. "PFFT—You got clapped, King! That was hilarious! I mean, come on! You really thought you were HIM?"
Ichigo shot up, glaring. "HEY! I was strong! I trained! I had Enbu! Food Honor! A sword forged from the core of a planet!"
Zangetsu rubbed his temples. "And? You still got folded like a cheap lawn chair."
White Ichigo wheezed. "No, no, it was worse than that! You didn't even get a fight! You showed up all dramatic like, 'I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, I'm built different!' and then BAM! One hit, done!"
Ichigo scowled. "It wasn't just one hit…"
Zangetsu raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So two hits? My bad. That makes it so much better."
White Ichigo threw up his hands. "We didn't even get to Bankai, King! Not even a Getsuga! Bro, you might as well have brought a wooden sword to the fight."
Ichigo crossed his arms. "Look, how was I supposed to know she was THAT strong?! The difficulty spike was insane! That wasn't fair!"
Zangetsu shook his head. "Fair? This is a Naruto final boss, Ichigo. Did you expect turn-based combat? Maybe some QTEs? You knew exactly what you signed up for, and you still went in acting like some big shot."
Ichigo groaned. "I get it, alright?! I got my ass handed to me! Can we move on?"
White Ichigo smirked. "Oh no, King. We ain't moving on. This is a historic L. We are gonna sit here and marinate in this loss."
Zangetsu nodded. "We should hold a memorial service for your dignity."
Ichigo gritted his teeth. "Okay, I'm done listening to you two."
He stood up, cracked his neck, and prepared to shut off the inner world—
But then White Ichigo pulled out a tombstone, and Zangetsu pulled out a prayer book.
"Rest in peace, Ichigo's ego."
"Taken from us too soon."
White Ichigo sniffed, fake wiping a tear. "Damn, bro. You were a real one…"
Ichigo snapped.
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"
Ichigo jerked awake in his bed, drenched in sweat. His body ached, his pride was shattered, and worst of all… he had a bad feeling.
Slowly, he turned his head to the side—
And immediately regretted it.
Sitting on the couch, all staring at him with wide grins, were his father Isshin, his sisters Karin and Yuzu, and—oh immortal, even Kon was there. The holographic screen in the room was still paused on the exact moment Kaguya impaled him with a bone, his expression frozen in a look of absolute horror.
Silence.
Then—
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Isshin fell off the couch laughing. Karin was clutching her stomach. Yuzu, the only one trying to be polite, had a hand over her mouth, but her shoulders were shaking. And Kon? Kon was rolling on the floor, face red, gasping for air.
Ichigo just stared at the ceiling, accepting his fate.
"Oh, my poor son!" Isshin wheezed, wiping fake tears. "All that training! All that bravado! And then—BAM! One hit! Finished! DESTROYED! I RAISED A JOBBER!!"
Karin smirked. "So, when does the rematch happen? Or do we put Kaguya down as your official sensei now?"
Ichigo groaned. "Can I at least get breakfast before the bullying starts?"
Yuzu smiled sweetly. "Sure, but we're still going to talk about it."
Kon jumped onto Ichigo's bed, dramatically wiping fake tears from his beady little eyes. "KING! My dear King! You were supposed to be our greatest warrior! Our undefeated champion! But you… YOU WENT OUT LIKE A BACKGROUND CHARACTER!!"
Ichigo glared. "Kon. Shut up."
Kon smirked. "Or what? You gonna fight me? You might lose that too."
Isshin fell over laughing again.
Ichigo sighed, rubbing his face. "Alright, alright! I get it! I got destroyed! But in my defense—"
Karin raised a hand. "No excuses. You lost so bad, I almost felt second-hand embarrassment."
Isshin nodded sagely. "You didn't even get to do a dramatic speech. Where was the 'I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, and I'm gonna win!'?"
Yuzu giggled. "It was more like, 'I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, and I'm about to die!'"
Ichigo smacked his face into his pillow. "I HATE THIS FAMILY."
Kon patted his head. "It's okay, buddy. We still love you. Just… not as much as before."
Ichigo let out a muffled groan. Then, after a moment, he turned his head slightly, smirking.
"Y'know what? Y'all are having fun now, but guess what? I recorded all of dad's fights too."
The room went silent.
Isshin froze.
Karin narrowed her eyes. "No way. You wouldn't."
Ichigo sat up, cracking his knuckles. "Oh, I would. And I will. I got the fight where he tried to suplex a Hollow and ended up suplexing himself. I got the one where he misfired a Getsuga and took out his own house. And best of all…"
He grinned wickedly.
"I have the one where he tried to flirt with a lady, and she threw him through a window."
Karin's eyes lit up. "No. Way."
Yuzu gasped. "I've never seen that one!"
Isshin sweated bullets. "L-Let's not act so hastily, my dear son—"
Ichigo smirked. "Yeah, I thought so."
With that, the balance of power had shifted.
Kon whispered in awe, "King… that was evil."
Isshin, defeated, sighed dramatically. "Fine. You win this round."
Ichigo leaned back smugly. "Damn right I do."
Karin smirked. "Still lost to Kaguya though."
Ichigo groaned. "OH, COME ON—"
As Ichigo's fight against Kaguya unfolded in the VR training world, the Heroes Chat Group was alive with commentary.
[One For All] Izuku Midoriya:
HOLY CRAP, KAGUYA JUST TELEPORTED HIM INTO LAVA!!! 😱🔥
[Hybrid] Ichigo Kurosaki:
I'M FINE. I GOT THIS. STOP PANICKING. 😤
[Dragon King] Issei Hyoudou:
Bro… are you sure? Because from where I'm sitting, it looks like you're getting cooked. LITERALLY. 💀🔥
[Holy Grail] Illya von Einzbern:
That was the fastest I've ever seen someone go from confident to terrified. 😂
[Ruin Princess] Rias Gremory:
He really thought he could just walk in and solo Kaguya…
[Emperor of Mankind] Naruto Uzumaki:
I tried to warn him. I REALLY did. But nope, Ichigo was like, 'Nah, I got this, I'm BUILT DIFFERENT.'
[Grand Scholar] Wang Lin:
Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.
[One For All] Izuku Midoriya:
OH MY immortal, SHE JUST HIT HIM WITH A BONE! 😨
[Hybrid] Ichigo Kurosaki:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭
[Dragon King] Issei Hyoudou:
BRO HE'S DISINTEGRATING—
[Holy Grail] Illya von Einzbern:
Oh, that's rough. You hate to see it.
[Ruin Princess] Rias Gremory:
Press F to pay respects.
[Hybrid] Ichigo Kurosaki has been defeated.
[Dragon King] Issei Hyoudou:
WELP, THAT WAS FAST. 😂
[One For All] Izuku Midoriya:
Bro lasted shorter than a filler arc.
[Emperor of Mankind] Naruto Uzumaki:
That was so one-sided, I almost feel bad. ALMOST.
[Holy Grail] Illya von Einzbern:
Okay, so who had "Ichigo gets bodied under five minutes" on their bingo card?
[Grand Scholar] Wang Lin:
We should all learn from this. Mainly, do not be Ichigo.
[Hybrid] Ichigo Kurosaki:
SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU. 😡
[Dragon King] Issei Hyoudou:
It's okay, bro, you still look cool! Just… not "win" cool. More like "got humbled" cool. 😆
[One For All] Izuku Midoriya:
On the bright side, at least we got a new meme out of this…
[One For All] Izuku Midoriya has uploaded an image: "Ichigo's face right before getting obliterated."
[Hybrid] Ichigo Kurosaki:
DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW.
[Emperor of Mankind] Naruto Uzumaki:
Nope. That's staying forever.
[Ruin Princess] Rias Gremory:
Pinned for future reference.
[Dragon King] Issei Hyoudou:
New chat rule: Every time someone overestimates themselves, we remind them of this fight.
[Grand Scholar] Wang Lin:
Agreed. Ichigo has become our cautionary tale.
[Hybrid] Ichigo Kurosaki:
I HATE ALL OF YOU. 😭