TL note: "chin" is Japanese for penis.
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"Yeah, Tengu City's a pretty nice place to live. The spacequake alarms are state of the art, and there are plenty of shelters. The AST's pretty on top of things too. Just last week, there was a quake down south, and you wouldn't even know it."
Waiting patiently at the bus stop, Shouko quietly listened to Shidou's explanation.
"That's good to hear. I've heard that spacequakes here are getting more common."
"There's definitely been an uptick, but so far no one's been seriously injured."
Shouko was a freshman college student, who had moved to Tengu City for school. After Shidou had broken the ice with some observational remarks, she had been surprisingly receptive, if not entirely plugged in to the conversation.
Just as Shidou was thinking this, the bus they were waiting for pulled to a stop in front of them. The college-bound woman stepped onto the train and turned back with some confusion when she realized Shidou wasn't following her.
"You're not getting on?"
He actually didn't have anywhere to be. He'd just pretended to because it made it easier to start up a conversation.
"Uh, no." Shidou floundered for a plausible excuse. "I just remembered I left something at the house."
It was a transparently awful excuse, and from the uncomfortable look she was giving him, it was clear Shouko had realized it.
"Oh. Well... have a nice day then."
"Yeah, you too."
The bus doors closed far too slowly and Shidou began walking off in some random direction, trying not to think about how cringe-inducing that just was.
Looking for anything else to do, he pulled out his terminal, opened the notes app, and updated his tally.
That makes ninety-seven. Just three more to go...
After he'd agreed to everything nearly a week ago, Kotori had (mercifully) amended his training to just striking up conversations with a hundred girls. Not exactly a walk in the park, but between school, shopping, and just daily life, Shidou had wracked up numbers surprisingly quickly.
That said, things had not been without their difficulties. Though he wasn't a shut-in by any means, Shidou was an introvert at heart, and striking up so many conversations was exhausting. Not to mention that so many people seemed more bothered by his attempts than anything else.
This was exactly why he didn't like this pickup stuff. Most girls his age wanted nothing to do with a stranger, especially a single guy like him, so he was basically just embarrassing himself half the time. There had been a few surprisingly receptive girls, like Shouko, but most approaches had been tepid at best. Some polite conversation, quickly followed by equally polite attempts to bow out of the interaction.
His only solace was that he was about to finish this stage of his training. Though, if this was the first stage, he shuddered to think what Kotori had in store for him next.
But, before Shidou could even move onto the next girl—
"You! Stop right there!"
"Huh? The hell?"
At the sound of that voice, Shidou turned to find a familiar trio of faces.
Ai, Mai, and Mii stood at the end of the street, damning fingers jabbed at him. Behind them, a police officer surveyed the scene.
"That's the man you were talking about?"
Ai nodded vigorously.
"Yeah, that's him, officer! He's been prowling around, hitting on everyone girl he lays his eyes on!"
"Doesn't he realize women are just trying to go about their day, not get hit on by random guys!"
"So sick!"
Taking this all in, the officer approached Shidou.
"Young man, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop. You're disturbing the peace."
"Huh? No, I can't stop now." Shidou paled. "I just need to talk to three more girls. Three more, that's it!"
The police officer took one long look at him before grabbing him by the arm.
"Kay, I'm gonna have to ask you to come with me."
"No, wait! This isn't what it looks like, officer, I swear!"
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"So, how was the training? Meet any cuties?"
Sitting in a desk chair in Raizen High's physics preparation room, Kotori asked this while unwrapping a lollipop.
Shidou, who was sitting in his own desk chair with his head resting on the backrest, answered listlessly.
"Does a police officer count?"
Reine, who was now acting as Raizen High's sexual health and wellness instructor, busily typed away at the only terminal in the room.
"For a first time, your performance over the week was better than expected. You reduced your average hover factor by about twelve percent and you were able to establish basic rapport with forty percent of targets. Aside from the run in with the police, you did very well, Chin."
Shidou convulsed at that last part.
"Uh, that's not my nam... never mind."
No matter how many times he corrected her, Reine was seemingly incapable of remembering his name. How she managed to mangle it so badly in the first place was anyone's guess. It must have had something to do with the fact that the woman looked like she hadn't slept in nearly forty years, which was weird because she must have been in her early thirties at most.
"Anyway, I've been meaning to say this for a while now," Shidou sat up straight in his chair. "but I still have a lot of questions I need answered."
After his largest worries about the authenticity of this situation were put to rest by Woodman's appearance, Shidou had held off on asking any more questions. But now, there was a lull in his training, and he intended to take full advantage of that fact.
Leaning back in her seat with her thighs slightly parted, Kotori answered after giving the lollipop between her lips a long, wet lick.
"Ask away, big bro. Anything you want. I'm wide open."
"So the sealing, you called it. " Shidou ignored the tasteless innuendo. "How exactly does it work?"
Reine answered as she typed.
"Assuming all has gone well, and you make the spirit orgasm first, what is called a Path will open between you and the spirit. This will allow the spirit's powers to disperse between you, lowering their powers to below the minimum level necessary to trigger spacequakes."
Listening to this explanation seemingly ripped from the pages of a battle harem manga, Shidou mulled over her words.
There really wasn't any way for him to confirm anything they said, but the least he could do was make sure they had their stories straight.
"And what about condoms? STIs? Is that something I need to worry about?"
"Look at you, bringing up your sex ed lessons." Kotori smirked. "But no, condoms won't be needed. The spirits aren't human, so it's not like you're gonna knock them up or something."
Shidou raised a brow at that.
"Are you really trying to tell me that girl wasn't human?"
"When was the last time you saw a human fly around without propulsion?"
"To be more precise," Reine joined in, "since, it wasn't mentioned, a condom would prevent the fluid bonding necessary for a proper sealing to take place. If you're worried about sexually transmitted infections, rest assured that the spirits should not have any."
"Okay, fine, if they're not human, then what exactly are these spirits?"
"Though they're called spirits, it's thought that they're beings from another dimension, rather than angels or some other supernatural entity. Due to the brief amount of time they spend in our reality, little data about their biological makeup or origin has been determined."
"Of course..." Shidou muttered. "So then what happens if I fail to seal one? Like if I cum first? It's pretty difficult to time that sort of thing, right?"
Kotori wagged her lollipop at him like he was making a nuisance of himself.
"Listen, spirits are simple creatures. Just do what we say and you'll have them moaning your name like it's a goddamn mantra."
"Additionally, the game we had you play should have sufficiently prepared you for the act itself."
At Reine's listless words, Shidou let out an involuntary shudder.
"Ugh. Don't remind me..."
In addition to the approach practice, they'd also had him training for the actual act of sexual intercourse in the form of a custom-made eroge.
An eroge with choices DURING THE SEX SCENES!
Now, Shidou was by no means a regular patron of such games, but he was fairly certain that interrupting sex scenes with tough choices that had legitimate, story altering consequences was not common practice.
Honestly, he was beginning to wonder why he had even agreed to this in the first place. It was clear that these people were only thinking about the sexual aspect of all this.
Picking up on Shidou's impending disillusionment, Reine stopped typing.
"Is something wrong, Chin?"
"No, it's nothing..."
Kotori immediately pounced on her brother's sullen tone.
"Don't 'it's nothing' me. If you have a problem, spit it out. We can't have you doubting us on the field."
"Well, it's just... I thought I made it clear when I agreed to all this that I didn't want this to just be meaningless sex."
"Meaningless? You're saving the world. What more meaning could you want?"
"That's not..." Shidou heaved a sigh. "I just... don't want to get caught up in anything crazy, alright?"
"Well, I hate to break it to ya, but this is about as crazy as things get. If that's your concern, then you should leave it at the door."
Kotori was not giving him an inch, and it was just cementing his opinion on the matter.
He didn't like the idea of pulling out on something he'd explicitly agreed to do, but this was just too much.
"You're not listening to me. What you're asking me to do goes completely against my ideals. Honestly, I'm seriously wondering why I even agreed to this."
"It's just as Woodman said, isn't it?" Reine swiveled around to face Shidou. "There's a certain romance to the act of saving someone who's been rejected by the world. I realize that this may not be how you imagined things, Chin, but please keep in mind that love does not sprout from nothing."
Not finished, she turned her sights on Kotori.
"Kotori, results are important, but you're trying to move too fast. Remember, the spirits cannot be sealed without a minimum level of emotional connection. No amount of effort will change that."
Though there was no aggression in her tone, Reine's words brooked no negotiation, and the Itsuka siblings were cowed into silence as the woman returned to her typing.
Shidou, once again resting on the backrest of his chair, turned things over in his mind.
He didn't want to admit it, but Reine had a point.
It wasn't like he didn't understand that most people weren't asexual, and he was perfectly capable of experiencing sexual attraction.
But still... he didn't want to be the kind of guy who left behind a string of broken-hearted women all the while gallivanting through life.
But that wasn't really what this was about, was it? Ethical non-monogamy was all about not going behind people's backs or shirking the responsibility to be a good partner.
Then why am I having so much trouble with this?
Shidou didn't have an answer and so the physics prep room remained silent.
Kotori was the first to speak up, crossing her arms as she did so.
"...Fine, I get it." She fiddled with her lollipop out of sight. "So... tell me about them."
Shidou looked over at his sister.
"About what?"
"Isn't it obvious? ...Your ideals or whatever."
"I'm just surprised you're even interested in something like that."
Scowling, Kotori impatiently prodded his chair with one of her slippered feet.
"Quit stalling and answer already."
"Alright, alright..."
Shidou returned his gaze to the floor, a wistful expression on his face.
"I don't think it's anything special really... I just want to find my soulmate, the person who's... destined for me, you know? The kind of person where you just see them and it's love at first sight. You just feel that connection right away, and it's like you've known them for years even though you just met... That's it. That's all I'm after."
That was his dream.
Perhaps it was silly, but Shidou thought people had a right to silly dreams.
At her brother's quiet passion, Kotori just snorted.
"What a surprisingly quaint idea of love."
Shidou almost couldn't believe his ears.
After pouring his heart out like that, that was all she had to say?
"You can't be serious."
"I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, but come on. Destined for you? Love at first sight? You do know that the real world's not a romance novel, right?"
This little shit!
"Of course I know that!"
Incensed, Shidou shot to his feet.
"When did basic bitch romance become quaint? Everything's about sex these days! What ever happened to just going on dates? To kissing! To just holding hands?! Romance is dead! It's dead and people like you killed it!"
Listening to his rant, Kotori just sucked on her lollipop with the indulgent tolerance of a parent listening to a child's tantrum.
"You feel better now?"
All his energy spent, Shidou plopped himself down in his seat, sulking.
"...No."
Having had her painstaking efforts getting these two to a point where they could communicate honestly smashed to pieces, Reine spoke up, looking a little more exhausted than usual.
"Sex is more than just a physical act, Chin. It's also an intimate moment where two or more souls unite for the purpose of giving each other pleasure. Or at least, it can be."
At Reine's surprisingly romantic words, Shidou furrowed his brows as he reflected on them. But, as if purposefully trying to undercut the moment, Kotori cut in.
"Honestly, you have no right to be complaining as much as you are. I offered many times to give you real-world practice, but you always rejected me so here we are."
Shidou glanced up at his sister.
"Wait, was that what you were doing?"
He couldn't tell what was worse, the original idea that his sister was so conformist that she was willing to fuck her own brother just to stay hip, or this new thought that she was so non-conformist that it never occurred to her how fucked up that was.
Oblivious to Shidou's horror, Kotori crossed her arms smugly.
"O-Of course! Bet you feel pretty stupid now, huh?"
"Actually, weren't you rather disapp—"
"Sh-Shut it!" Kotori slapped a hand over Reine's mouth. "Anyway, the next part of your training starts now. Reine, get the thing!"
Looking even more exhausted than usual, Reine retrieved a small object from the pocket of her lab coat that did not house the ratty teddy bear she always seemed to keep with her.
"Here. This will allow us to communicate with you in the field."
It was a tiny earpiece. Shidou pressed it into his ear, where it fit snugly.
"It has an onboard AI that's been trained on your voice so it automatically filters out background noise. Even if you whisper, the mike will pick up your voice."
"I-Is that so?"
When had they done that? Shidou didn't exactly remember authorizing the use of his biometric data in that way.
Before he could dwell on this too long, Kotori spoke up.
"So, Reine, is there anything left?"
"That should be it."
Kotori nodded, briefly sucking on her lollipop before she began shouting unnecessarily.
"Listen up, Shidou!" She jabbed the lollipop at him. "There are three essential aspects to pickup artistry. Approach, seduction, and close. You've already practiced the first and last. That leaves arguably the most difficult part: seduction."
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After classes let out, Shidou was directed to begin "sarging" — basically, pickup nonsense for approaching women, this time with the intent of actually seducing them.
How exactly he was expected to do that was a mystery, but Shidou trusted the concerning amount of effort that had apparently been put into all this.
"Target sighted ten meters ahead."
From the earpiece in his ear came the mature tones of Reine's voice, as if she were speaking directly into his ear. Immediately, Shidou experienced an autonomous sensory meridian response tingling down his back, which he ignored as he surveyed the hallway.
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"That woman. She seems distinctly receptive to a pickup attempt."
In addition to the earphone, they had a microscopic drone tailing him, relaying a visual feed to Reine and Kotori, which would be joining him on future sets.
"That woman" was none other than Tamae Okamine. He had completely written off the adult woman as a possible target.
"What?" Shidou balked. "You can't mean Tama-chan?"
These two really expected him to hit on his homeroom teacher?
"Seduction is an important part of romance, Chin." Reine cut right to the heart of the matter. "Nothing can happen unless you approach."
"You hear that?" Kotori barked. "That means quit whining and make yourself useful already!"
Shidou heaved a sigh but found he couldn't really argue back. As destined for failure as this all seemed, he'd rather do this with Tamae than a fellow classmate. The last thing he wanted was to gain a reputation among the student body as some wannabe Lothario.
It was just as well, as Tamae was just about to pass him, making it easy for him to get her attention.
"Uh, hi, Tama-chan. Do you have a sec?"
She stopped, an expectant look on her face.
"Oh? What's the matter? Need help with something in class?"
"Uh, no, I just... wanted to say that's a very cute outfit you're wearing."
It came out a little more stilted than he would have liked it to, but Tamae took the compliment well.
"Goodness, you really think so?" Her eyes lit up. "My, that is very flattering of you!"
"Yeah, it really does look good! So does your hair, and... those sexy glasses. Perfect shoes, perfect stockings, perfect attendance book!"
Shidou rambled, trying hard to capitalize on the unexpected success, though he ended up coming on harder than he meant to.
Tamae tilted her head worriedly. "Um... is everything alright, Mister Itsuka?"
While Shidou was beginning to sweat, Kotori's voice played from his earpiece.
"This isn't the kind of bush you're supposed to be beating around, Shidou! When it comes to pickup, you've gotta be crystal clear about your intentions."
Shidou had to fight to keep the confused frown off his face.
Was she seriously suggesting he outright proposition his teacher like that? How was he supposed to do that?
"I can lend him a hand." Reine joined in. "Chin, listen closely and do exactly as I say."
"This might sound corny, but ever since I laid eyes on you at the start of the semester, I've honestly thought you were really sexy. I often sit in class daydreaming about bending you over the lectern?"
Reine, what the fuck!? I thought you said you would help me!
Now Shidou was well and truly finished. Tamae was definitely gonna tell him off for this.
Smiling, the petite woman waved him off with a laugh.
"Oh, that's very flattering, but I don't do hookups! Especially not with my students!"
"Shidou, this is a shit test!" Kotori jumped in. "Pay attention to how Reine responds."
I feel like refusing to participate in a teacher-student love affair isn't a shit test, but whatever...
It wasn't like Shidou was opposed to age gap romances, but he felt like such things belonged safely tucked away between the pages of books rather than real life.
That said, Tamae was being surprisingly receptive. Just as Reine had initially pointed out.
"That's fine." Reciting her words, he clasped Tamae's hands. "But will you please wait for me? I want to become the kind of man who can take care of you. In all kinds of ways."
"M-Mister Itsuka?"
"Please, call me Shidou."
Tamae stared into his eyes, entranced, before leaning into his embrace.
"You're seventeen, right?"
"Y-Yeah."
Well, in a few months, anyway, but Shidou figured that little detail was best left unmentioned right now.
Turning away, Tamae appeared to think long and hard about Shidou's offer before turning back to him.
"A-Are you really okay with this? By the time you graduate, I'll be a full-fledged wizard and—"
At Reine's instruction, Shidou laid a single finger on Tamae's lips, eliciting a thrilled squeak from the woman.
"Tamae, for you, I'll wait as long as it takes."
"Ahnn!"
Tamae's eyes bugged out of their sockets, her back arching as she let out a cry of ecstasy.
While Tamae seemed on cloud nine, Shidou quietly spoke.
"That was incredible. How did you know what would work?"
"Hmm... It's simple. Our data shows she's a twenty-nine-year-old virgin, who prioritized her occupational dream over dating. People like that are often desperate for love."
As Reine explained this, Tamae finally came down from her high, this time grabbing Shidou's hands as she pressed her petite body against his.
"Ohh~! I can already see it now! The scented candles. the dimmed lights! And don't worry, I already have the perfect playlist picked out!"
"Although..." Reine reviewed her earlier statement, "she seems unusually desperate."
I'll say!
Her intensity was... terrifying.
"Oh, and don't worry! I've read all about what men like in bed! I know to take a sip of peppermint tea before oral, how to use refrigerated coins, and involve lots of teeth..."
While Tamae obliviously rattled off increasingly concerning sex acts, Shidou quietly slipped away, breaking into a full, arm-pumping sprint as soon as he turned a corner.
"Hey, what do you think you're doing!" Kotori demanded. "You didn't close the set!"
"Did you see her? I would not survive that! Besides, isn't teasing an important step in the seduction process!"
Shidou could tell she didn't appreciate being refuted so thoroughly but before she could respond, he crashed headlong into a pedestrian, sending them both falling on their asses.
"Agh! Sorry about that..." he sat up. "Are you alrigh—"
He was greeted with the sight of white panties of one Origami Tobiichi, courtesy of her open-leg spread after she had fallen.
Pulling her knees together, the girl regarded him with calm eyes.
"You're not supposed to run in the halls."
"Ah, yeah. What was I thinking..."
Trying to put that cliché scenario ripped straight from a harem manga behind him, Shidou quickly got to his feet and helped Origami up. He was about to apologize properly when he noticed the unexpectedly rosy complexion of her face.
"But... I'll look the other way if it's you..."
Shidou did a double-take.
Was Origami, the girl so stone-faced she was nicknamed doll, blushing? He could hardly believe what he was seeing.
"Ah, perfect. Shidou, this is another chance to test your seduction skills." Kotori unilaterally decided. "She's your age, so you should have nothing to complain about."
Turning away from Origami, Shidou pressed the intercom.
"I hate to break it to you, but I don't think this is gonna work. She's already asked me out and I turned her down."
"You say that like it's not all the more reason to do it. There will be times when you need to recover from a shit first impression."
Now Shidou was the one who had been refuted.
Reluctantly, he turned around to find Origami still standing where he'd left her, though she seemed a little closer than he remembered.
"Um, wow, Origami, those clothes look really great on you. Where'd you get 'em?"
"This is our school uniform."
"...Right."
Immediately, Kotori rounded on him.
"You idiot! Why'd you go for the clothes again?"
Shidou wanted to shout at his unforgiving little sister.
I'm trying over here, damn it!
"Chin, let me help you."
Once again, Reine came to the rescue. Shidou didn't like the idea of failing on his own twice in a row, but he knew they weren't getting anywhere otherwise.
"Hey, Origami, the truth is, when I turned you down earlier, I was just... taken aback by your forwardness. Do you think we could start over?"
"I'd love to."
That was easy!
"That's great to hear. The truth is I've kind of been looking at you for a while now."
"So have I."
"And I've always thought you had a really sexy body."
"So have I."
"And I've... masturbatedtothethoughtofyou."
What is she making me say?!
Shidou was about to stop when Origami hit him with an even bigger bombshell.
"So have I."
What is going on!?
While Shidou's mind was in disarray, Kotori put in her own two cents.
"See, things are going perfectly. At this rate, I bet you could even shoot for a fuck close. I'm sure she'd be discreet. She doesn't seem the sort with loose lips, if ya know what I mean."
Quit it with the innuendo, already!
Well, whatever. If things were progressing this fast, then Shidou needed to put the breaks on things quickly before they got out of hand. Contrary to what his sister had just suggested, he was not going to fuck a girl he barely knew.
"So, anyway, you think we could hang out sometime, maybe get to know each other?"
Origami's blush was gone now, but there was a definite demureness in her demeanor as she answered.
"I would like that."
Quietly, she walked up to him, handing him something.
"What is this?"
It was a candid photo of Origami in uniform, taken from a distance at a perilously low angle that threatened to reveal her panties.
"For you. You said you liked my uniform."
"It... kind of looks like a creep shot. Who took this picture?"
"Doesn't matter. You probably wouldn't recognize them anymore anyway."
"...Right."
He turned it around to find a series of digits written on the back.
"That's my number," Origami said. "I'm ready whenever you are, so call me any time."
When he'd turned her down, Shidou hadn't thought much of the girl. Perhaps it was just because he knew she was into him, but he was beginning to regret that hasty decision.
But, before he could say anything—
The sound of a spacequake siren began blaring in the distance, the sound of more distant alarms gradually joining the din.
As the pre-recorded voice played, Origami's face became hard and only then did Shidou realize it had grown decidedly softer over the course of their conversation.
"I have to go. Bye."
The memory of her fighting with that girl flashed through his mind.
"Wait! Are you headed for the AST!"
But Origami was already sprinting down the hallway, disregarding her earlier words as she disappeared around a corner.
"Shidou, get back to the Fraxinus." Kotori's voice cut in. "The spacequake's gonna land right on top of the school."
In response to her grave tone, Shidou started moving quickly.
"You think she's coming?"
"Well that depends on you, doesn't it?" He could just hear the smirk in her voice. "Get ready, Shidou. The moment of truth has finally arrived."
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15,000 meters above Raizen High, Shidou stood aboard the Fraxinus. Kotori and Reine talked animatedly amongst themselves, using jargon and terminology wholly unfamiliar to him.
Eventually, Kotori deigned to address her brother.
"Shidou, once the spacequake is over, you're going to go down to that school, and you're going to seduce that spirit." She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. "Any questions?"
Though he didn't like the domineering tone she said that with, Shidou decided not to argue with her. After their spat in the physics prep room, he knew the two of them weren't going to see eye to eye on things.
That said...
"Yes, I do have one question."
"What is it?"
"Why are you using your vice-commander as a footrest?"
Sure enough, Kotori's feet were currently sitting casually on Kannazuki's back, everybody acting like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Huh? Because my feet are tired."
"Is that so..."
Shidou had suspected as much starting from last week, but mayhap his little sister was something of a sadist?
Lifting his head slightly, Kannazuki revealed an expression of pure bliss on his face.
"Don't worry, Shidou. For a pig such as myself, there is no greater honor than to serve as—ghck!"
Kotori dropped her heel on his lower back, eliciting a disturbingly ecstatic squeak from the man.
"Don't raise your head. It throws off the balance."
Yes. She was definitely a sadist.
"Ah," Kotori perked up. "That reminds me."
"Of what?"
"You're already acquainted with Reine 'Insomniac' Murasame, but there's still the rest of the crew to introduce you to."
"Do they all have silly codenames?"
"Yes. And they're not silly."
So saying, Kotori leapt to her feet and flung her coat out with an overdramatic flair.
"My crew consists of the foremost experts on the Venusian arts!"
"Is that so?"
"It is so!" She pointed at a man in the lower deck with a streak of graying hair. "With five marriages under his belt, I bring you Kyouji 'Bad Marriage' Kawagoe!"
"Doesn't that mean he's been divorced four times?"
Kotori snapped to an older man drinking casually from a shot glass. "He's very popular with the Filipina ladies of the night! Masaomi 'Boss' Mikimoto!"
"Aren't those just escorts?"
Then a mousy-looking young woman whose hair covered her eyes.
"Her rivals in love encounter misfortune one by one! Hinako 'Nail Knocker' Shiizaki!"
"Isn't she the one causing the misfortune?"
Now a man in his early twenties wearing glasses and fingerless gloves.
"The man with no less than a hundred wives! Munechika 'Dimension Breaker' Nakatsugawa!"
"They're 2D, aren't they?"
This time, it was another young woman with curly locks, and a printed photograph which she stared at hauntingly.
"Her love is so powerful not even a restraining order can contain it! Kozue 'Deep Love' Minowa!"
"Wait, that's illegal?!"
Finally, Kotori threw a disgusted look the blonde Kannazuki's way, who yet waited on his hands and knees before her chair.
"And last, as well as least! Kyouhei 'Punished' Kannazuki!"
Having been so thoroughly ignored throughout this whole ordeal, Shidou just sighed and let that last one slide.
None of these people sounded like "experts on the Venusian arts", whatever that was.
Well whatever. They did say failed artists made the best teachers.
Just then, Reine spoke up.
"Singularity detected. Spacequake is imminent."
Hearing this, Kotori returned to her seat, falling back into it and dropping her feet on Kannazuki's back once more.
"Look alive, boys and girls! This is the real deal!"
As the spacequake materialized above the school, Kotori flashed a dangerous grin.
"Now, then. Let us begin— our conquest!"
Beside her, Shidou cringed.
"Do you have to call it that..."
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The spacequake had eaten a sizable chunk out of the school, leaving the surrounding area to collapse, throwing rubble and debris out in a large, obscuring cloud.
Currently, Kotori was briefing Shidou as he used said cloud as cover to enter the school without the AST's notice.
"Consider yourself lucky, Shidou. The AST's equipment wasn't built for indoor combat, so as long as Princess stays inside, you've got her all to yourself."
"Just to be clear here, this isn't just gonna be some meaningless fling, alright?" Shidou pressed his earpiece. "I'm gonna do this my way. With romance."
He heard Kotori huff in irritation on the other end.
"You just love making things difficult. Fine then. As long as the spirit ends up sealed, it doesn't matter how we get there."
That reluctant capitulating was more than a little vindicating, but the feeling quickly faded as Shidou continued climbing through rubble.
It was disconcerting, seeing the school he'd gone to for a year and some change reduced to this state. But more than that, it was what lay ahead that troubled him.
Truth be told, though he'd (begrudgingly) been going along with all this for nearly a week now, he was starting to get cold feet as he approached the moment of truth.
Why am I even doing this?
Once again, that question rose to the forefront of his mind.
Kotori obviously didn't care if there was an emotional connection or not, her earlier concession aside. But, more to the point, was it even possible to romance this girl — this spirit? Princess had attacked him on sight when they'd first met, and Shidou seriously doubted a week of questionable pickup practice would change things.
Though... when he'd first laid eyes on her, she could have easily killed him right then and there. But instead, she'd deliberately missed her swing and hit the buildings behind. She'd been trying to scare him away.
The image of her lonely eyes had struck a chord with Shidou, and it was the memory of those eyes that ultimately led him to the now ruined classroom marked with Princess' location. He steeled himself, taking a deep breath, before striding over the remains of the classroom's door.
Immediately, he saw her and, honestly, he'd kind of forgotten just how exhibitionist her outfit was.
From behind, the sharp outline of her ass shown through clearly beneath the sheer fabric of her skirt, made all the more dazzling in the light of the evening sun. From his position, he could just make out her right breast, the nipple there standing proud and erect as if to challenge the world.
At this powerful sight, Shidou froze mid-step.
Remember... the three second rule...
It was a rule of pickup he'd learned this past week, one of the few that seemed to have any validity. He had no less than three seconds to approach her. Any longer, and his misgivings about the situation were sure to get the better of him. He could already feel thoughts like "she's just gonna be pissed off" or "I'll just screw this up" bubbling up.
But before he could act on this thought, Princess turned at the sound of his footsteps, unleashing a wave of energy with a swipe of her hand that nearly cut off Shidou' toes. Smoke rose from the smoldering arc that had been carved into the wood flooring.
Oh god, she's pissed off!
"Wait, please! I'm not here to fight! I just want to talk to you!"
Princess glared at him, arm still raised to discharge another energy wave.
"Who are you? And why are you following me?"
"I'm—"
"Hold it!"
As Shidou was about to respond, Kotori stopped him.
15,000 meters above, onboard the Fraxinus.
Innumerable parameters were displayed on the main monitor overlooking the bridge, listing such values as comfort levels, indicators of interest, and buying temperature.
"An anomaly in the spirit's mental state has been detected!"
"The analyzer AI is processing the data. Main choices on screen!"
Following this report, three options appeared in succession:
1. My name is Shidou Itsuka. I'm here to save you.
2. I'm just a passerby! Please don't kill me!
3. Before asking someone's name, you should really give your own.
Kotori surveyed everything from the captain's seat, taking the lollipop out of her mouth with a wet pop.
"Everyone! Make your choice, and make it quick! We don't have all day here!"
Swiftly, the crew made their decisions, and the results appeared on the main monitor.
"A unanimous vote, huh."
Kotori's remark prompted commentary from Mikimoto.
"The first choice is a tried and true classic, but it could come across as a little insincere in this context."
From his position as Kotori's footrest, Kannazuki chimed in.
"Option two is out of the question. You might be able to escape, but then you've closed with nothing to show for it."
Then, from the lower bridge, Reine spoke.
"That's true. Three is the only one that makes sense. It follows from the interaction and it gives him control of the frame."
Kotori nodded in approval, grabbing the mike in front of her.
"Alright, Shidou, we've made up your mind. Repeat after me, and say it with confidence."
Shidou wasn't exactly a fan of being sock-puppeted like this, but it wasn't like he had any better ideas. He took a deep breath and put on his best smirk.
"Before asking someone's name, you should really give your own."
There was a brief moment where it seemed like Princess was actually going to respond positively.
And then she raised both her arms.
Shidou immediately dove to the side, and not a second after that, the air above him exploded. He looked back to see a third of the floor simply gone. The first floor was visible through the hole that had just been opened up.
On the other end of the earpiece was Kotori, sounding genuinely mystified.
"Ehh? Now why'd she go and do that?"
"What did you think would happen!?"
The dust settled to reveal Princess standing in front of Shidou, a ball of light beaming in her open palm.
"This is the last warning. If you do not answer, I will consider you an enemy."
"My name is Shidou Itsuka! I'm a student here! I don't want to fight!"
Princess listened to his words and her eyes flickered in recognition.
"You... we've met before, haven't we? You were spouting that strange nonsense."
Princess closed the distance between them and grabbed Shidou roughly by the hair, yanking his face up.
"You said that you were a lover, not a fighter. But now I see that that was a lie. You're here to kill me." Her eyes wavered. "Why else would you be here?"
There was something painful in her voice at that moment, and it called to mind a science fiction romance that Shidou had read once, and then DNF'd due to some too-stupid-to-live nonsense that had played out around the middle.
Anyway, the female MC was an alien warrior embroiled in an intergalactic conflict, shell-shocked after crash landing on earth following a stellar dogfight. Wandering aimlessly in search of aid, she was rejected at every turn until she was ready to write off the human race entirely. It was then that she ran into a washed-up lumberjack who took her in.
Now, Shidou was not a once-divorced lumberjack by any means, but he felt like he could understand what that man had seen when he'd decided to take her in.
"I'm not here to hurt you. Not every human wants to hurt you." He stared into Princess' eyes. "Please, believe me."
"You..."
The girl seemed at a loss for words, but it was only for a moment. She gripped Shidou's hair even tighter.
"Then why are you here?" she demanded. "What reason could you possibly have if not to hurt me?"
"Shidou." Kotori started. "Tell her you just wanted to meet her."
"I... just wanted to meet you."
Princess scowled.
"To meet me? For what reason?"
In the Fraxinus, Kotori and the crew considered the latest set of choices.
1. I'm interested in you.
2. To make love with you.
3. I need to ask you something.
"Anybody got any suggestions?"
"I recommend two." Kawagoe started. "There's no point beating around the bush."
Shiizaki nodded her approval.
"Also, she's completely ignorant of human culture. We might be able to get her with this."
"All fair points." Kotori agreed. "We've wasted more than enough time answering all these questions, anyway."
Leaning forward, the Fraxinus' commander took the mike.
"Shidou, tell her you came to make love to her."
Shidou paled at this order but carried it out faithfully.
"I came... to make love with you."
Princess scowled as she tried to process his words, before just cutting the bit of rubble above Shidou's head.
"To make love? What does that even mean? I am in no mood for more nonsense."
"You want to know the truth? I came here so I could talk to you. So I could help you!"
"Stop, Shidou!" Kotori ordered. "Wait for our signal!"
He ignored his sister. Thus far, none of Ratatoskr's suggestions had helped in any way. If Princess was done with nonsense, then so was he.
"You can turn me away if you want, but I want you to know that no matter what, I won't reject you!"
Genuine shock spread across Princess' face. She blinked once before she spun around to compose herself.
"...Is it true?" she asked after a moment. "You really won't reject me?"
A nod.
"Yeah. I promise."
"You really won't?"
"Really."
"Really, really?"
"Um... yes? Why are you repeating yourself?"
Princess took a deep breath, exhaling it loudly before turning around to face Shidou.
"You're the first human who's actually been willing to talk to me, so..."
Here, she planted her hands on her hips and leaned forward, causing her exposed breasts to wobble conspicuously.
"I'm just using you to gather information about things, okay? It's not like I actually believe you or anything, got it?"
Shidou, who had somehow all but forgotten about her state of undress, had to command himself to keep his eyes on her face. Her hard eyes were back again, but they seemed to have softened just a little.
"That's fine by me. I'll answer any questions you have."
As her first question, Princess gestured around at the ruined classroom.
"Then tell me, what is this place? It's the first time I've been somewhere like this."
"Ah, it's a classroom. The building they're all in is called a school. People come here to learn things."
Princess looked at Shidou like he was crazy.
"What? All these get filled with humans?" She pointed at the knocked over desks. "There must be forty of these things, at least. And there are more?"
Shidou nodded.
"Yes. There are a lot of humans in this school. And there are even more in the city."
Princess marveled at his words.
"Incredible..."
She really hasn't met many humans, has she?
The spacequake alarm meant that everyone was always gone by the time she arrived. The only humans she must have met were from the AST.
"Hey..."
Shidou tried to call out to her, but realized he didn't know what to call her. She'd been designated Princess, but that epithet didn't sit well with him.
"You said you don't have a name, right?"
"Yes... Those are important, aren't they?" the girl looked at him. "Why don't you give me one... Shidou?"
"Me? Give you a name?"
Though he had been the one who brought it up, Shidou wasn't exactly the creative type. Coming up with a name on the spot was a little outside his repertoire.
The earpiece in Shidou's ear sparked to life.
"Don't worry, big brother of mine. Though you rudely rejected our aid, we've graciously decided to extend a helping hand."
In the Fraxinus, Kotori had already instructed her crew to offer suggestions and was in the process of vetting them.
"Misako..." she looked up from her terminal. "Kawagoe! Isn't this the name of one of your ex-wives!"
"Misako is a lovely name! It's why I married her!"
"And it's why you're divorced!" She moved on to the next submission. "Urarakane... Mikimoto, how the hell do you pronounce this!"
"Clarabell!"
"We're not gonna use a name from the antebellum South! Denied!" Kotori huffed in irritation. "Goddamn it, don't any of you have any actual suggestions?"
When no one spoke up, she turned on the mike.
"Shidou, just go with Tome. That should satisfy her."
That sounds like a grandma's grandma's name.
Well, if the girl didn't like it, he was sure she'd make it known. Probably by destroying something else.
"...Uh, how does Tome sound?"
As soon as Shidou suggested this, Princess raised her hand menacingly, a scary looking sphere of energy appearing on her fingertip.
"I have the peculiar feeling that I'm being mocked."
Shidou put his hands up at this completely expected response.
"Duly noted."
Turning away, Shidou cupped his chin in thought.
As far as names went, she didn't really need anything flashy. Though she would be going by this from now on; he couldn't be too lazy.
Something simple but meaningful... Hmm?
The day he ran into her. That was the tenth, right?
Shidou chewed on this fact for a while before returning his gaze to Princess.
"How about... Toh... ka?"
She frowned at his hesitant tone, but eventually shrugged her shoulders in resignation.
"Oh well. It's better than Tome."
Shidou sighed in relief.
I will never tell her that I just took the "ten" from the tenth and added "scent".
The girl formerly known as Princess trotted up to Shidou, an up-till-now unseen enthusiasm in her eyes.
"So, Tohka. What does it look like?"
Shidou furrowed his brow.
"What does it look like? You mean like how is it written?"
Tohka just nodded, so Shidou went to the miraculously intact chalkboard and wrote down the characters "十香".
She studied the kanji and then proceeded to imitate his motions, a bright laser appearing from her finger as she copied her new name down.
"Tohka... I think I like it. Thank you, Shidou."
"No problem. Tohka."
She smiled warmly for the first time and the two gazed at each other for what seemed like an eternity.
It was then that Kotori's voice cut through the hushed atmosphere.
"Shit! Cockblockers at 12 o'clock!"
Before Shidou could even react to that warning, the sounds of gunfire assaulted his eardrums. Instinctively, he threw his arms over his head and crouched.
"Looks like the AST's finally gotten tired of waiting." Kotori spoke through the gunfire. "They're probably trying to smoke the spirit out."
Shidou glanced up at Tohka, who's eyes were on the AST wizards in the distance. Her eyes were hard again, as if their earlier softness had never existed.
"Tohka..."
Returning her gaze to Shidou, she regarded him with a lonely look. She'd protected him with her force field, but she wouldn't be able to do that once she started fighting.
"Escape from here, Shidou. Or else you'll be shot by your fellow humans."
At her resigned words, Shidou frowned deeply.
They were finally getting to know each other, and now she wanted him to leave.
Shidou sat down cautiously but obstinately.
"I'm not going anywhere. You still have questions, don't you? So don't even worry about them."
"Shidou..."
Putting the AST out of her mind, Tohka crossed her legs and joined him on the floor. Of course, this position gave him a perfect view of her naked crotch, but Shidou found it easy to ignore that in favor of the conversation.
They talked about all kinds of things.
Tohka had questions about everything, even a few things Shidou had never thought about. Nevertheless, he answered them all to the best of his ability and Tohka listened with rapt attention the whole time.
The force field that always seemed to protect her repelled not only the AST's bullets, but their sound as well, so it was remarkably quiet when they directed their aim at her.
And finally, after some time, Shidou asked a question of her.
"I'm curious. If you're not human, what exactly are you?"
"I don't know," Tohka answered simply. "Some time in the past, I just sprouted forth. That's all I remember. My oldest memories are fuzzy and distorted, and I have no idea what I am."
So all that time the AST were attacking her, she didn't even know what she was, much less why they were after her.
"That sounds awful..."
"That's how it is. I popped into this world out of thin air, and before I knew it, the mecha-mecha squad were already there."
"Mecha-mecha huh?"
She gestured at the AST wizards, who still fired at them even now.
"Them. The noisy flying people."
"Ah, you mean the AST."
Tohka took this in with a quiet "mm", and right then the earpiece in Shidou's ear buzzed to life, Kotori's voice following soon after.
"Now's your chance, Shidou. Her comfort level is over seventy! It's time to make a move!"
"Make a move, you say... And what do you suggest?"
"Ask her out on a date. Obviously."
"Shidou?" Tohka had noticed his odd behavior. "What's wrong?"
"Ah, it's nothing. Just... do you know what a date is?"
Tohka tilted her head in confusion.
"A... 'date'? No, what is that?"
What's a date, she asks.
How did he explain that?
While Shidou agonized over the finer distinctions of words, Origami emptied the umpteenth clip of her massive Gatling gun. The weight and recoil of it had been neutralized by her CR unit's territory, so it was like firing in a video game.
The transmitted voice of Captain Kusakabe cut through the gunfire as Origami reloaded.
"It still hasn't come out yet?"
"No confirmation yet."
Origami answered as she began firing once more.
Something was very strange about this. It wasn't unheard of for a spirit to hide in a building every once in a while, but for Princess to do this? That was completely outside of its behavior patterns.
As Origami turned this over in her head, another section of wall collapsed under their sustained assault, revealing both Princess... and another.
Kusakabe was the first to notice.
"Wait a minute, is that... Hold your fire!"
At the urgency in her tone, her squad immediately ceased their bombardment.
"There's someone down there... Damn, is the spirit attacking them?"
The smoke from their gunfire slowly dispersed to reveal—
"...Shidou!"
Origami's eyes widened for the barest second before narrowing in resolution. Then, in a matter of moments, she tossed aside her Gatling gun, equipped her close-quarters-combat energy blade, and shot towards the school, her CR unit's mobility pushed to the highest setting.
"Tobiichi! We haven't been cleared for entry!"
Kusakabe's words blared in her ears, but she ignored them.
This time was different. She would not let the same thing happen again, not when she could finally do something.
As soon as Origami's destination became clear, Kotori in the Fraxinus slammed her fist onto the intercom switch.
"Shidou! The AST are coming in!"
At those words, Shidou paled.
"What!"
Hadn't she said the AST didn't go indoors?
As if response, a loud shout reverberated through the area as one of the wizards slammed an energy blade down on Tohka's force field, unleashing a blinding display of light and sound.
"How rude."
Tohka had already reacted long before Shidou and he realized that she had caught the blade in her palm, throwing it and the wizard holding it to the side.
She landed on her feet, between Shidou and Tohka as if to protect him.
"Wait... Origami?"
Origami only spared him a glance before baring her blade at Tohka.
"Shidou, stay back."
"Wait, stop! You've got it all—"
"Sandalphon."
With that one word, Tohka clacked her heel hard against the pockmarked floor, and the great throne Shidou had seen from before rose up from it.
"You again?" she eyed Origami disdainfully as she drew her blade.
"Shidou, withdraw!" Kotori shouted. "The Fraxinus will come to retrieve you, so get as far away from them as you can!"
Carefully, Shidou backed away from the tense standoff before him.
"Easy for you to say, but—GAH!"
With a mighty shout, Tohka swung her sword and unleashed a powerful wave of energy that not only knocked Origami back, but sent Shidou flying out of the classroom and into the hallway.
As Tohka and Origami began fighting, both trying to lead the other away from the location, Shidou beat a hasty retreat until the Fraxinus was able to retrieve him.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
The next day.
After a long night writing up a field report on and reviewing yesterday's date, Shidou had finally gone to bed around 3:00 a.m. So he could probably be forgiven for mindlessly getting up at the alarm, mindlessly getting dressed, and mindlessly going to school.
He was currently amidst the rubble of Raizen High. It would be a few days before the AST could get started on rebuilding.
Yesterday still felt like a dream, even though he was staring at the very real ruins of his school.
As he carefully made his way through the rubble, he came across the fragment of chalkboard they had written Tohka's name on. It was Tohka's, from the handwriting. Or rather, her laser writing.
Looking at it, Shidou couldn't help but feel a pang of pity.
Just having a name made her so happy...
He was reminded of memories from the past, before he was adopted into the Itsuka household nearly a decade ago. Abandoned by his mother at a young age, he'd spent his early years in the foster care system. Looking back on that time, it had only been a few years, but watching everyone he knew get adopted before him had left a deep impression on him.
When you have no one like that, the loneliness can be almost unbearable.
In an effort to combat that loneliness, he had become self-sufficient at an early age, but it was only after he finally got adopted — and experienced a level of love that he could scarcely have imagined before — that he'd realized he was simply lonely. All the power in the world had done nothing to alleviate those feelings, and it must have been the same for Tohka.
She was absolutely, insanely powerful, not to mention the spacequakes that heralded her appearance. It was understandable why the governments of the world would want a threat like that destroyed.
But no one had talked to her. No one had tried to understand her side of things. They'd just decided she was a monster and the only way to deal with such a monster was to destroy it.
"...Shidou..."
But Tohka wasn't a monster or anything like that.
"...Hey, Shidou...!"
She was just a lonely girl who was tired of fighting.
"Stop ignoring me!"
"Wha—?!"
Shidou spun around at the sound of that voice.
Standing above him, atop a pile of rubble, was none other than Tohka.
"Took you long enough." She leapt down and leveled an indignant glare his way. "Don't ignore me like that."
"Tohka! Sorry, I was just lost in thought... Wait, why are you here?"
The appearance of a spirit should have meant a spacequake. Sleep addled as he may have been, Shidou was pretty sure he hadn't missed the spacequake alarm.
Puzzled, Tohka crossed her arms over her breasts.
"Huh? Aren't you the one who invited me on a... what was it? A deit?"
Somehow, he could just hear her lack of comprehension of that word.
"We did promise to go on a date, huh?"
"Yeah, so let's go." Tohka impatiently tugged at Shidou's arm. "Date, date, date!"
"Wait." he stopped her, pointing at her attire. "You can't wear that where we're going."
Tohka recoiled as if personally insulted.
"What's wrong with my naked dress? This is my armor and kingdom. I won't allow you to insult it."
These things were seriously called naked dresses?
"Fine, fine..." Shidou held up a hand in defeat. "I'm just saying... the AST will notice you if you're wearing that. Right?"
Tohka took this in, seemingly satisfied, before closing her eyes in apparent concentration and causing her dress to vanish in a flash of light.
Needless to say, this left her completely naked.
"Good. Now, let's—WAIT! W-W-What the hell are you doing?!"
She'd done that so casually Shidou had very nearly gotten swept up in her pace.
Confused by his reaction, Tohka put her hands on her hips, a motion which once again caused her breasts to wobble freely.
"The AST people won't recognize me like this, right?" She grabbed his arm again, pressing it against her chest. "Anyway, can't we go on this date already?"
"Ah—no, no, no, no!" Shidou waved his hand as he fished out something from his pocket. "I'm talking about wearing something like this instead!"
It was the photo Origami had given him yesterday. Tohka looked at it and then at Shidou.
"Why do you have this?"
"T-That doesn't matter, just put some clothes on already!"
Though Tohka seemed unsatisfied with this response, she relented. But not before tearing up the photo.
After that, she closed her eyes once more and began to emit light that covered her body then transformed into a perfect replica of Raizen High's female uniform.
Tohka planted a hand on her hip. "How does this look?"
The uniform consisted of a navy blue skirt and a black blazer complete with a print of the school's insignia on the lapel. In addition to this, she'd added black knee-highs that offered a peek at her toned thighs, along with a scarlet ribbon keeping up her ponytail.
Taking this all in, Shidou was struck by the realization that sometimes a well-fitted outfit was more appealing than simple nudity.
"Uh... very good."
She flashed a smile before grabbing Shidou's arm again.
"Then let's go!"
"Wha!"
Finally too eager to wait, Tohka dragged Shidou along. As he tried to keep pace, he couldn't help but be struck by another realization, something about this girl that he'd noticed the day they'd first met, but been unable to put to words until now.
She's so... curious.