Samuel POV
What she said about me... She's just like them...
"Don't worry about it! Let's just keep pretending that we are on good terms with him! I'm sure he will buy it!"
"Don't worry about it, Stella! Samuel is kind so I'm sure he won't mind!"
They think that they can just use me...I was right all along yet I was just naive...Hopeful for nothing...
"No, wait! There must be a misunderstanding! I didn't---"
"YOU LIAR!"
As these thoughts of mine come back, my heart gets tighter.
My mind is filling up with thoughts...terrible thoughts. My body feels like it's getting weaker and weaker the longer that I am here...It's as if my mind is asking my body to run away...
"I thought you guys are different! Yet you think of me lowly behind my back!"
"Wait! We're not badmouthing you! We're complimenting you about how nice you are since you paid for Stella's dress! Right, Stella?!"
" Yeah, Samuel! I think that you are a kind and gentle person!"
That flattering won't work on me anymore!
It's as if my mind just snapped...
"But you don't really think that, do you?! Stop with your empty flattery because I don't need any of it! I know you think of me as a gullible person that you can take advantage of! I WON'T HEAR ANY OF IT!"
As I yelled those words, I sprinted as fast as I can.
I want this feeling to go away... I don't want to feel it anymore... Why did I believe to begin with...
"Haahhhh...hah...Where am I?" I asked myself
I sprinted as fast as I can to get away that I got lost. I am surrounded with trees and plants...I might be in a forest. Although, I did got lost I could hear the noises from the town on the west side so I know that if I just go left and remember the stores that we visited, I'm sure that I will be able to go back the carriage.
*Tweet**Tweet**Tweet*
As I am thinking, I hear a bird tweeting repeatedly.
It must be calling for help...
I looked around as I try to find it. Eventually, I found it. It seems that it fell because it saw worms on the ground and tried to take a peek and fell.
I took it back in its nest and took the worms also. After I took it back, two birds seems to fly to the nest.
It must be its father and mother...
*Tweet**Tweet*
*Tweet**Tweet*
After that, an adult bird, presumably the mother bird, gave me a worm.
It seems that it wants to thank me by giving a worm. No, thank you.
I politely decline the bird's offer and walked back to the carriage as slow as I can.
It would be awkward with Stella on the way because of the scene that I made... I guess we'll go back again to not talking with each other as it should---
"Samuel! I found you!" Stella shouted.
"Stella?! How did you find me?!" I asked
"Well, I remembered you told me that you like quite places and looking at birds back then so I searched for a forest near the town." Stella said
What...She still remembers that?
"Anyways...Umm..." Stella said as she stumbles on what to say.
Well...She did find me but it seems like we will just go back without talking to each other. I'll start walking back---
"Wait! I know it's selfish but...I want to say something to you, Samuel..."
As I am walking, I stopped when I heard what Stella say. She took a deep breath as she started to talk.
"I just wanted to say...I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I am blind to your worries...that I was not able to comfort you when you needed it...that I am selfish..." Stella said
"I want to be able to talk to you again... And I promise that you can tell me whatever you feel...I will listen to you..." Stella said as she tries to hold back her tears
"I'm sorry...that I wasn't able to tell you sooner...Because I thought that you don't want to talk to me anymore because you think I am a burden...I am afraid that you hated me...that I am nothing but a nuisance..." Stella said
I...feel the same way...I am afraid that you will forget about me...that you will get closer with Catherine and start hating me... I don't want to feel lonely anymore so I tried to distance myself away from you...
"But right now, I won't let that feeling get to me...I want to hear it from you...I just want you to hear what I want to tell you even if you hate me...I don't care if you forgive me or not... Just let me be selfish again...Tell me what I can do for you to forgive me..."
As she said those words, she lowered her head presumably to wipe her tears.
Stella, I---
Wait...Don't fall for it...We will just go back to being friends and after a few months, we will distance each other again...We'll just repeat the cycle...
But...I'll ask one question...I want to know what she will do...
"You promised that you'll listen to me whenever I want...What if you broke that promise? What will you do?"
Many people back then think that we are close and after a few months,they just forget about me... I'm sure that Stella will also forget my promise... She will probably just say that she will never forget her promise and try to make me feel hopeful...Yep, it's pointless to ask---
"Well...If I did, I will become your personal servant until you told me that I paid my broken promise."
What?!?!?!?!?!
"I know that it is pitiful that this is my way I pay my broken promise but...I'll do anything you want...No matter how hard your task is, I'll do it so that you can forgive me."
Anything?! Crap, I'm remembering that book... I can feel my face getting red...
"And if I don't obey your orders, you can punish---"
"OK!OK!OK! You can stop...I believe in you... I forgive you...Just please don't tell anyone what we talked about." I said
If mom hears any of this, getting scolded will be the least of my concerns...
"Well then, shall we go back?" I asked
"Absolutely." Stella replied
Right now, we are walking back to the carriage.
I feel terrible knowing that I made Stella sad... After all, I made her feel guilty because I made her think that I hate her. I can't make her feel that way anymore...
"Stella, I know that it is late for me to say it but...I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you for weeks...I just felt scared knowing that you are making new friends and you will just forget about me..."
"Samuel... I would never forget about you... You talked to me back then when I didn't open up...You tried your best to become close to me even though I didn't talk to anyone... You're the reason why I got the courage to open up...No matter what happens, I will never forget the kindness you gave me..."
Crap...I forgot how thoughtful she is...Just like back then when we first met... She is still the Stella that I knew...
"Sorry for jumping to conclusions,Stella...I didn't mean for any of this to happen...I just got scared when you became extremely close to Catherine...maybe closer than me."
"Closer...Wait?! I'm sorry, Samuel! I didn't mean to tell you about Catherine to worry you! The reason I told you about Catherine is---"
"I'm sorry for my behavior, Sir Samuel!"
"Woah!"
As we are talking, Catherine bowed her head and apologized in front of me.
"We aren't close yet I teased and treated you as one! I hope you forgive me!"
"I'll do anything---"
Oh no! Not this again!
"OK! Wait! You don't have to go that far! I accept your apology! Please raise your head!"
As I told her, she raises her head.
"Besides, I should be the one apologizing. I made a scene although you are just complimenting me. I am deeply sorry for all the trouble that I have done. I hope you forgive me" I said as I bow my head.
After all, it's my fault...I was so scared of people not liking me that I thought that they are the same as them...Although I still don't trust Catherine...She doesn't seem to have any bad intentions...Besides, Stella told me that she is nice and friendly...
"I accept your apology. I am just glad that we resolved our misunderstanding." Catherine said
After that, we decided that we should go back and agreed to meet next week.
As I step inside the carriage, I thought of something.
"I almost forgot...As apology for the scene that I caused, I'll set up our outing next week and surprise both of you. This is the best I can do as an apology for causing trouble for both of you." I said
This is the least I could do for both of them...We were all having fun and I just had to go ruin it by making a scene... I promise that I will make up for my mistakes...
"Is that so?! Thank you, Samuel! I'm looking forward to it!" Catherine said
It seems that they are looking forward to it... I will work hard to show them that my apology is sincere... I'll do my best...
As we said our goodbyes, we boarded the carriage and went home.
As I am thinking, I can feel Stella's head on my shoulder.
"I am glad that we can talk to each other again." Stella said
"Me too..."
"I know that it is selfish but...Can you hug me?" Stella asked
"Of course but not now because it is cramped. I'll hug you when we are in your room."
"Well, I can't wait. I've missed you."
"I also missed you too. I am glad that our misunderstanding is over."
I am glad that we are able to go back on how things were.
"I am also glad that you and Catherine are also getting along."
"Yeah..."
Not really...But I don't want to get her down...
Crap...I forgot to say something to her.
"Stella, I know it is late but... I'm sorry for breaking my promise...Even though I told you that I would stay by your side, I ran away. I understand if you don't forgive me."
"Samuel...You don't have to apologize. You were just scared like I am... Besides, you came back and talked to me again... Let's forget about it and become friends again..."
"Stella...Even though you forgive me, I promise you that whatever happens, I'll be there for you... I know that I broke my promise but from now on, if I break it, tell me so that I can repay it. Because I want to be someone that you can rely on and never forget."
"Forget...Didn't I told you that I would never forget you? But I do want you to be there for me..." Stella said.
As we chatter, it feels nice that we got along again...
I hope that it stays this way... With my childishness and stupidity, I caused you pain...This incident will never happen again...I won't let you down again... I'll show you...