I found myself aimlessly wandering around the palace as I could tell that Hwi was particularly annoyed with me today, and i knew why but...but I couldn't seem to accomplish anything now due to this fucking addiction of mine! i had worked hard to distance myself from my father, and after i wasted my childhood and teenage years, i was finally independent for the very first time in my life! I was a rising star in the palace that was ready for anything that came my way, even marriage, a marriage where i wasn't going to accept any dowry and now… I had come to an agreement with Seo Hwi that I would catch out The Third prince Bang-Won with his private army after the Emperor had once again just banned them for everyone in the palace, even his own son's…
"…well, you would always exercise prudence in your decisions, usually anyway. How uncommon it is for you to consistently cause so much trouble like this, Mistress Han?" "But I was only thinking about you, My Lady, for you are aware of her rude character and..." "Well, thank you for thinking on my behalf like this; but the men in the palace only see the tears of the fresh flowers and not the old ones. There was a time where The Third Prince would do anything in his power to marry Seo Yeon, and now that she is actually here in the palace, what can I do…." I knew it! i knew that bastard wanted to marry my woman! i was so uncomfortable with her being here in the palace and now i knew why…unless i use this rant to my advantage. it would be my most devious plot yet, but it could still work out in my favour and nobody would be any wiser if i just kept this one secret to myself....and as for Hui-Jae, she was still midway through her rant before i started laughing my head off being there quarters, where I had ended up at through my wanderings. Hearing my own rare laughter transported me to my happier days with Yeon under my father's roof where she was always under my watch.
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I left my brother as soon as his wife arrived with my nephew so i could place him in Hwa-Wol's care before drifting off to sleep myself. But before i even had the chance to undress myself, Seon-Ho barged into my place and took me by the hand to lead me outside of the palace walls for the first time in a long time. I could tell that he was taking advantage of the situation when he hauled me on top his horse for the first time. I hadn't been on a horse since I was 5 years old, so the experience was a little harrowing for me. I had my arms firmly clenched around his waist and I gave him a couple of death threats in case he tried to be funny at all, and I could remember was him snorting in laughter before he played around with the horse and trying to unbalance me which resulted in a few screams to his delight before we rode off to god knows where.
We did have a nice time around the market place, the river, the fields and everywhere else where we had grown up around in our youths that I was not supposed to have remembered yet. But it made me miss my brother so much that I had a harder times forcing my smiles. I was too lost in thoughts to notice how he was looking at me, and he was constantly asking me if I wanted to eat or drink anything. I could't help noticing how sweet he was being, so much so that I actually said it out aloud. And the look on his face completely broke me all over again, he looked stunned at first like he had never head of a compliment before and then he couldn't look at me for a while. It was moments like this that completely broke me as well…and before I knew it I found myself hugging his back, and I thanked him for everything he had done for me, the care and effort he had put into my stay and I thanked him for shielding me against his father as much as he could. I made sure to give him a tight hug, goodness knows when the last time he had one was.
I could feel him shaking in my embrace as he still hid his face away from me. I tried to let go so I could have him face me but as soon as I unwrapped myself around him, he pulled my hands back around his waist for a while. I felt myself sink into his back for a while to try to remember what it felt like to breathe normally for a while before he stopped shaking. I turned around to try and face him but he kept hiding his face into his hair and kept looking away from me. In the end I had to place his face into my hands as I wiped away his tears that he was still hiding underneath his hair. I did this for a while before I pulled his face towards me so I could give him a simply kiss on the forehead as a recognition of his hard work…but at that moment there was a powerful force that kept pulling us towards each other, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it. I had kissed him on the forehead and I tried to walk away, but he didn't like that at all for some reason. He grabbed my arm without even turning around and almost slammed me against a tree if he didn't place his hand on my head so I wouldn't hurt myself. Wrestling him off of me wasn't an option either as he wrapped himself around so me I couldn't move, and he was just staring me. I couldn't even speak at all, I just didn't know what to say. His stare was so intense that I couldn't look at him without trembling from head to toe, so I just pointed my eyes to the floor. But this time he took my face into his blistered rough hands and he…traced my face before he leaned in…and so did I…
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She looked thin and haggard, like she hadn't eaten for a while, but apart from that she had her hair out for once which just made all of the difference with her. She was so beautiful, even more so than when I had last seen her. Her noble clothes that she was wearing did indeed suit her so well, it was like she was born to be a part of such a world…
Yeon ran into my arms and stayed there for a while without uttering a single word of explanation to me. Such a simple act of clinging onto me with all of her might almost brought me to my knees in tears and made me regret what i was doing to her, but it was she who was leaving me no choice but to take extreme measures against her. The last thing I wanted was to scare her away from me…
…but she wasn't scared of me. She didn't even bat an eyelid as my instincts took over to test her now of all times. I shouted at her and she didn't react, I tightened my grip on her arms unnecessarily and she didn't even whimper. She just looked straight into my eyes bas if she knew what I was doing before she buried herself into my embrace again as if she knew that was where she belonged. "I'm so sorry for leaving you behind, but I was scared that your father would send me away and that I would never see you again." "Why didn't you contact me?" "Your in-laws…their family…" "don't you dare call them that! That woman is not my fiancé! I will never marry her!" Stop saying that, you cannot throw her away…not after everything that she is doing for you, things that I could never be able to do…" "You let me worry about that! You are the one that I want to keep by my side! I need you! Why do you keep making me repeat myself so much?" "Seon-Ho, you haven't thought this through that is why, just like you never rally had a solid plan to enter the palace, right? You are still as impulsive as ever, my love." As much as I wanted to convince her otherwise, I knew that deep down inside that she was right. But that didn't mean that I was going to let go of her either, not by a long shot. "where did you go? What have you been doing? How have you survived? Have you eaten anything at all?" "I will tell you everything in a while, let me just catch my breathe please."
I held onto her for as long as I could, whilst being fully aware that we were being watched, but i knew that this could come into my favour sooner rather than later. I held onto her for as long as I could but I had totally forgotten about Hui-Jae, who came out bloodied and bruised from being punished by her Mistress.. From the moment that she saw us embrace, she screamed for the palace guards to surround us and take us back to the palace. I didn't have my sword on me and I was still partially high, so I could not fight them at all. I could only throw myself at Yeon and take all of the beating that they were giving me for resisting them. "NO! Stop it! Do not touch him! Seon-Ho listen to me, stop resisting! So please stop taking on this pain." She managed to whisper into my ears, but as for myself, I instantly relieved all of the pain and suffering that my enemies put me through. "I am not ready yet Yeon." "Please, I am begging you, you have so much potential to do everything that you want, so please free yourself of this." "If…if I do, you must stay with me, please just stay and never leave again…"
It took me a while but I finally stopped resisting but nobody could stop me holding onto Yeon as we were both dragged away by the guards and an extremely upset Hui-Jae who kept pulling me towards her so she could break us up. I had long noticed her antics towards Yeon from the minute I had brought her to my father's home. But I didn't expose her yet as I planned to deal with her as soon as I could settle either my enemy in my department who was still oddly quiet after a year or the Third Prince first. But now, i was going to make a move that would play in one person's favour against the other and it was solely for my benefit, until i could find a way to beat my addiction and get back on track before it was safe for me to carryout the rest of my plans.