Date: December 2, 1996
Location: Newburg Evangelical Church, Newburg, San Andreas
"Ahh, my damn head, what the eff?" Remus exclaimed in disbelief as he woke up to find himself and the gang tied up to chairs in a dark office. "This is some BDSM bullshit," he added as he tried to get out of the ropes. "HEY, Y'ALL WAKE UP!" Remus yelled, making the others stir from their slumber. "Where the Fok are we?" Slater asked, bewildered.
Pastor Tyren suddenly appeared in his office chair, turning to face the gang. "You melodramatic as hell," Marnie said. Pastor Tyren stood up and stabbed Marnie in the leg with a crucifix, eliciting a loud "AHH, FUCK" from her in pain. "Whatever you say in the dark will be heard in the light," Pastor Tyren said ominously.
"Look, we don't want trouble Pastor," Remus said pleadingly. "I heard about y'all in the paper, doing nothing but killing and stealing. Causing problems throughout Newburg, Los Santos, and Las Venturas," Pastor Tyren said as he took the crucifix out of Marnie's leg. "Since you guys like to steal, I need you guys to steal something for me," he continued, taking out a pen and paper.
"Oh, a bank robbery? That sounds easy," Slater said, to which Pastor Tyren laughed. "No no, haha you guys will never be good enough to rob a bank," he said while writing an address down. "Oh? Well, what do you need us to rob?" Slater asked. "Y'all will be robbing the CCF," Tyren said in a low tone. "The CCF? You want us to rob the Children's Cancer Fund?" Remus asked, shocked. "Yep, Cancer is just demons going through the children. It's just natural and God's will if they just die," Tyren said as he put the address in Remus's pocket. "You are a viejo sin corazón," Chris angrily said. "Sorry, I don't speak deported," Tyren laughed and shoved Chris's face back. "Now, should you guys refuse my request, I will have the Westvillains on your asses. I will have them skin y'all alive and have them put a film of it on the internet!" Tyren yelled.
Tyren then untied the gang, "now get the f*ck outta my office!"
Mission: Get to the Charity
The gang got into the car and made their way down to the Charity. Remus looked at the paper Pastor Tyren gave him and saw the address. While he was distracted, a pedestrian crossed the road. Remus hit the pedestrian, slamming on his brakes and making everyone slide forward. (The car physics in the book are the same as GTA 4, now back to the story!) Remus saw the person go flying, but since there was no one else around, he just drove off.
"We are robbing a charity…what the hell kinda start is this to our gang?" Milo asked. "Look son, this was a little accident that happened; this won't happen again. After this we will start to do normal gang shit…like graffiti and drive-bys," Remus said as he turned to the Charity. The charity was on the top floor of the Children's Cancer Hospital. "I feel like a f*cking scumbag," Remus said as he put the car into park.
Mission: Get to the Charity Division
The gang walked into the hospital and headed to the Charity division. "Hello, welcome to the CCF!" a young woman exclaimed. "Hello, we are here to volunteer," Remus said as the gang walked over to the woman. "That is great to hear, you look like you would make a great Santa," the woman happily said as she grabbed Remus's hand. "Santa? What?" Remus asked as the lady led the group over to the sign-in sheet. "Just sign here, and we will get you guys set up," the lady said as she went to grab a Santa outfit for Remus.
"Santa, ay? That's gotta be tough, Remus," Slater laughed. The lady came back over and showed Slater an elf costume. "Bummer," Remus laughed. Remus put the Santa outfit on, and Slater put the…female elf costume on. "Son, I think that was made for a girl," Remus said as he put his hat on. "It's the smallest size we have, sorry," the lady said. "Hey now, don't sweat it for the children, right?" Slater said. "Right, this way, boys," the lady guided the gang over to a room where children were coloring and playing. "KIDS, LOOK WHO IS HERE," the lady yelled, "SANTA!" the kids all yelled and ran over to Remus and Slater. "Let's wait to do what we came here to do," Remus said, and the other gang members went to the children. The kids all started to hug and talk to Remus. "Ho Ho Ho kids, who wants to hear a story?" Remus asked. The kids all cheered, and Remus sat them all down to read to them. While Remus was reading, Marnie saw a little girl sitting by herself at a table, and she went over to see the little girl. "Hey there, sweetie, why don't you go to see Santa?" Marnie asked. "My mom says Santa is not real and that I'm going to die," the little girl said. "Oh jeez…listen, your mom is not you. She can't control what you feel or what you want to believe. You are not going to die, baby, I promise, " Marnie said as she hugged the little girl. Marnie took the girl by her hand and led her to Remus, "Thank you, lady." The little girl smiled at Marnie. Marnie smiled back and kissed the girl on top of her head. "Psst, Marnie, over here," Milo whispers, Marnie looks over and sees Milo in a doorframe. Marnie looked at Chris, who was helping some kids with the Christmas tree, Slater, who was reading to the kids with Remus. "Let's go," Milo whispered, yelled, and Marnie felt hopeless and went with Milo."
Mission: Get to the top floor
"Alright, the money is in a vault on the top floor," Milo said. "And how do you know that?" Marnie asked, "I held an employee at gun point and he told me…I still shot him, so I will give us about half an hour to get this money before someone sees his body in the closet" Milo said as he pushed the top floor button in the elevator. "You do understand that this is a place of hope and care for these children, Milo?" Marnie asked. "I know, I just want to get this done with," Milo said. Marnie looked at a poster in the elevator. "Children's Cancer Fund of Newburg, saving children since 1912" the poster read. Marnie looked away from the poster *Ding!* The elevator had reached the fifth floor. Milo put on a ski mask and gave Marnie one, "Let's go and get this shit done, Marnie," Milo said as he rushed out of the elevator. Marnie exhaled through her nose and put on her ski mask. Marnie caught up with Chris, "ight, I know the pin, this should be easy enough," Chris said. Soon, two security guards came out of the bathroom, the guards saw Marnie and Chris. "Hey, get on the floor," one of the guards said. Chris pulled out his gun and shot the security guard in the head. He tried to shoot the other guard, but his gun jammed. "Shit!" Chris ran and left Marnie behind. "Hey, FREEZE!" the other guard yelled. Marnie put her hands up, and the security guard ran over to put her in cuffs. Marnie grabbed the security guard's hands and twisted them. Marnie jumped up and kicked the guard in the face. After knocking out the guard, Marnie ran after Milo.
Mission: Help Milo get the money
Marnie ran through the hallway and heard Milo ransacking the vault. "Milo, you left me out there," Marnie said angrily. "You still alive, ain't you?" Milo asked as he filled his pockets with money. "That's some bullshit Milo, we are a gang…a team," Marnie said as she started to fill her pockets with the money. "Listen, out here it is survival if the fittest," Milo said. "Ok, we are good, let's get-" Milo was cut off by an alarm going off. "Shit, let's get the hell out of here!" Marnie yelled.
Mission: Take out the security guards
Marnie and Milo ran towards the elevator, and security guards started to run out. Marnie jump kicked a guard, making him fly back and hit the other guards. Milo grabbed his gun out and started to shoot and pistol whip the other guards. "Run to the elevator!" Marnie yelled. Milo and Marnie ran to the elevator and pushed the button to the bottom floor.
Mission: Get Chris, Slater, and Remus back to the car
Marnie and Milo ran to the room with the children. "REMUS, SLATER, CHRIS! LET'S GO!" Milo yelled. "You could not have done that any better?" Marnie asked. "Shit, we got the opps after us!" Milo yelled back.
"Uhhh, kids, Santa needs to go and get yalls presents ready!" Remus happily said to the children. The kids agreed and went to hug Remus and Slater. The two men and Chris went with Marnie and Milo out the door. "Hey, those are our outfits!" A worker yelled at Remus and Slater. Remus threw the costumes at the woman's face, "thank you," the woman said.
Mission: Get to the car
The gang got into the car and stopped to catch their breath. "That was the worst thing I've ever done," Marnie said as she took off her ski mask.
**Attention all units, a robbery is in progress at the uhhh Children's Cancer Fund of Newburg** Soon, the gang heard police sirens.
Mission: Lose the cops!
"Shit, Remus, PUNCH IT," Milo yelled. Remus stepped on the gas, and the car flew forward. "Hol on yall!" Remus yelled as he gained speed and went through alleyways. The cop cars kept gaining on the gang, Milo got out of the window and started to shoot at the cops. Slater and Marnie also started to shoot at the cops. The bullets peirced the cop car's tires, causing them to spin out. The cops began to shoot back at the gang. **Suspects are heading north in a uhhh gray sedan** Remus took a hard turn down an alley and dodged the cops. Soon, the sound of sirens faded out, Remus got back on the main road and headed for the church.
The gang went into the church and went to Pastor Tyren's office to unload the money. "Aha, the same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches," Pastor Tyren says as he grabs the money in his arms. "You are a horrible man, Tyren," Remus said. Pastor Tyren looked up at Remus, "If you have jealously in your hearts, do not boast and be false to truth. God promised me money and you guys delivered it to me…now get the fuck out. And take your phone, I put my number in it, when I need the Mystery Inc. crew here, I will call" Pastor Tyren said as he threw Remus's phone at him.
Mission: Get back to the hotel
The gang went back to the hotel, went to the rooftop, and sparked a blunt. "This was one hell of a day," Marnie said as she took a hit of the blunt. "I want to volunteer more at charities," Remus said, "YES," Slater agreed. The gang smoked and watched as the sun set on the towering skyscrapers of Newburg.
"Maybe this shit jus might work out"
**There has been a robbery at the Children's Cancer Hospital in Allegheny, I repeat, not our problem. Continue to patrol**
Mission Passed!
Respect +
+$600