Amirirah pov
The city lights blurred past my window as I drove, my mind a chaotic whirlwind of emotions. The sleek black car that Jackson had arranged for me purred beneath my hands, but I barely registered the sensation of the steering wheel under my fingers.
They had all changed so much. Mother and Father still maintained their regal composure, but there was a new heaviness to them—a weariness that hadn't been there before. Hayden looked harder, more closed off, while Zuri and Zari seemed to have withdrawn further into their private twin language, viewing the world with identical suspicion. And Kario—my other big brother was a man now, his childish softness replaced by watchful alertness.
But Lenna... where was Lenna?
My twin hadn't been there. My other half, the person who had once known my thoughts before I'd spoken them aloud, was nowhere to be seen. Had something happened to her? The family had behaved as if she was still alive, but her absence gnawed at me.
Hot tears slid down my cheeks, taking me by surprise. I hadn't even realized I was crying. I hastily wiped them away, my vision blurring dangerously as I pressed harder on the accelerator. The car responded instantly, surging forward through the empty streets. I needed to get home—home to Lani, to the only certainty in my fractured world.
The darkness within me stirred restlessly, responding to my emotional state. I fought to control it, to push it back down. Not now. Not when I was so close to finding answers.
Who was Kai? Why couldn't I remember him? And why did my family seem so... broken?
More tears fell, and I gave up trying to stop them. Let them come. In the privacy of my car, speeding through the night, no one could see this weakness.
The safe house appeared ahead, invisible to anyone who didn't know exactly what to look for. I pulled into the hidden entrance, my heart racing with the need to see Lani, to hold her and ground myself in her simple, unconditional love.
As soon as the car stopped, I stumbled out, barely remembering to grab my purse. My darkness barrier recognized me, parting like smoke to let me through. The shadow wolves I'd created still patrolled, their glowing eyes turning toward me as I entered. A quick vision through their sight showed me that no one had approached the house in my absence.
I ran through the halls, heedless of the noise my heels made against the floor. All I could think about was reaching Lani, holding her, reassuring myself that at least one thing in my life was real and true.
The bedroom door flew open under my hand, and there she was—my little treasure, curled up in the middle of my bed. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, but she was fighting to keep them open, determined to see me return as I'd promised.
I didn't bother with the lights. Didn't bother to carefully hang up the silk dress. I simply yanked it off, letting it pool on the floor as I climbed into bed in just my slip. Lani's sleepy eyes found mine in the dimness.
"Mama, you're back," she whispered, her voice thick with sleep but tinged with relief.
I pulled her into my chest, holding her so tightly that I worried for a moment I might hurt her. But I couldn't loosen my grip. She was my anchor, my light, the one person who loved me completely.
"I'm back now," I whispered into her curls. "You can sleep."
Her small body relaxed against me, and within moments, her breathing deepened into the gentle rhythm of sleep. Only then, with my daughter safely in my arms, did I allow the tears to flow freely.
Silent sobs shook my body as all the emotions I'd suppressed during the gala came flooding out. Seeing my family after so long, yet not being able to reveal myself. The shock of seeing Tara pregnant, realizing I would be an aunt. The coldness that seemed to have settled over all of them. And most of all, the absence of Lenna—the sister who had once been as necessary to me as my own heartbeat.
Where was she? Was she truly dead, despite what the family implied? Or had she chosen to stay away tonight for some reason? The questions tormented me, circling in my mind like hungry wolves.
And beneath it all was the name that haunted my dreams: Kai. Who was he to me? Why did thinking of him bring such complicated pain?
My darkness responded to my distress, tendrils of shadow creeping up the walls of the bedroom. I forced myself to take deep breaths, to focus on Lani's warmth against me.
"I don't know what I'm doing," I whispered to my sleeping daughter. "I don't know if I'm making a terrible mistake."
My hand stroked her soft curls, finding comfort in the simple gesture. Tomorrow, I would need to decide my next move. The note I'd left for Mother would ensure they knew I was alive—would set events in motion that couldn't be stopped. Soon, I would have to face them directly, to demand answers about the past that had been stolen from me.
But for tonight, I would allow myself this moment of vulnerability. This silent acknowledgment of the fear and uncertainty that lurked beneath my carefully constructed strength.
"I miss her," I admitted in the darkness, the confession barely audible. "I miss Lenna. Even after everything... even though I don't know if she was part of what happened to me... I miss her."
My twin. My mirror. The person who had once understood me better than anyone. Before Lani, before the darkness, before the hospital there had been Lenna and me against the world.
Now there was only fragments of memory, pieces of a puzzle I couldn't solve, and this overwhelming sense that something vital had been torn from me.
I tightened my arms around Lani, drawing strength from her innocent trust. For her sake, I would be brave. For her sake, I would face whatever truths awaited me in the shadows of my past.
"I love you, my treasure," I whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
The tears continued to fall as I drifted into an uneasy sleep, dreams of twin laughter and a name I couldn't quite remember waiting to claim me in the darkness.