Chapter 4: The Tournament of Frozen Fools
(MC Perspective)
I woke up to a spear pointed at my nose.
"By order of the Sect Master," droned the armored disciple, "all *able-bodied participants* must compete in the Annual Northern Ice Tournament."
I blinked. "Define *able-bodied*."
He poked my belly with the spear. "You qualify."
Damn it.
The Rules (Or: How to Humiliate a Bear in Public)
The tournament grounds were packed. Hundreds of cultivators surrounded a massive arena carved from enchanted ice, their excited chatter filling the air. Elder Liang stood beside me, looking far too amused.
"Relax," he said. "You only have to fight *one* human opponent."
"Only* one?" I growled. "You realize I'm a polar bear, right? This isn't *fair*."
He shrugged. "Life isn't fair. Also, Elder Mei rigged the brackets."
Of course she did.
[Tournament Quest: Survive Without Eating Anyone]
[Reward: Bloodline Insight +10%]
[Penalty for Failure: Being Skinned Alive (Highly Likely)]
I sighed. "Do I at least get a weapon?"
Elder Liang tossed me a frozen fish.
"What am I supposed to do with this?!"
"Snack."
First Round: Bear vs. Arrogant Young Master
My opponent was exactly what I expected—a pretty-boy disciple in robes worth more than a peasant village, his hair perfectly wind-swept despite the subzero temperatures. He flicked his sleeve dramatically.
"Beast, you may surrender now and spare yourself the—"
I lickedmy claws.
He flinched.
The referee shouted, "BEGIN!"
The young master lunged, his sword trailing icy mist. Fast. Skilled.
Unfortunately for him, I had **reach**.
**WHAM.**
One swipe sent him flying into the audience. A group of junior disciples shrieked as he crash-landed in their laps.
**[First Round Victory!]**
**[Sect Reputation: "Cautious Respect" → "Mild Terror"]**
**[Notable Reaction: Elder Mei's Tea Cup Shattered in Her Hand]**
Elder Liang clapped slowly. "Efficient."
I swallowed the frozen fish whole. "I'm just getting started."
The Real Problem (AKA: Sect Politics Are Worse Than Hunger)
Between rounds, I overheard the whispers:
"Did you see how it *moved*? That's no ordinary beast..."
"Elder Mei says it's an *abomination*—"
"Shh! It's *looking* at us!"
I bared my teeth. They scattered like rabbits.
Elder Liang materialized beside me, voice low. "Mei's faction is pushing to have you disqualified. They're calling you a *'disruptive influence.'*"
I snorted. "Because I beat their golden boy in two seconds?"
"Because you're winning *without techniques*," he corrected. "Just raw, beastly strength. It's… embarrassing for them."
[New Optional Quest: Humiliate Elder Mei's Faction Further]
[Method: Win Using ONLY the Fish]
[Bonus: Eternal Grudge from Elder Mei]
I glanced at the remaining frozen fish in my paw.
"...Challenge accepted."
Semi-Finals: The Frozen Fish Technique
My next opponent was a spear-wielding prodigy from Elder Mei's faction. She sneered. "Put down the fish, beast. Fight with dignity."
I stared. Then **thwacked** her knee with the fish.
THWACK.
She yelped, hopping on one leg. "YOU—"
THWACK. THWACK.
I wielded the fish like a club, battering her defenses with sheer absurdity. The crowd's murmurs turned into laughter.
"IS HE ACTUALLY—"
"BY THE FROZEN HEAVENS, HE'S BEATING HER WITH A *FISH*!"
Elder Mei's face turned purple.
[Semi-Finals Victory!]
**[New Title: "The Frozen Fish Savant"]**
**[Achievement Unlocked: Made an Elder Cry Tears of Rage]**
Final Round: The Hidden Boss**
The Sect Master stood. "The final match will be against… *my personal disciple.*"
The crowd **gasped**.
A figure cloaked in mist stepped forward—**Liu Feng**, the sect's *undefeated genius*. His sword hadn't been drawn in three years.
*Because no one lasted long enough to see it.*
Elder Liang stiffened. "This isn't part of the brackets. He's **Core Formation Realm**."
The Sect Master smiled. "Consider it an *honor*."
**[Emergency Quest Update: SURVIVE]**
**[Recommended Action: Cheat Shamelessly]**
I looked at my fish.
Then at Liu Feng.
Then back at the fish.
**"...Well, I had a good run."**