Things were ticking over as they made their way through the summer. The first festival they went to was the 80s Throwback Music Festival at Rosedale Park, San Antonio midway through July. As it was on a weekend, Molly had reserved it for going with Jennifer, but she said she'd already made plans for that weekend. So Molly went with the Rodgers' family instead.
The two sisters were planning a trip to San Antonio for a weekend together in August instead. But ever since Molly had asked her older sister to go to the 80s Throwback festival, Jennifer made sure she was hardly home and stayed over at Kayleigh's a little more often. Initially the younger Matthews girl was happy as it meant that she could see Jake more frequently, but after two weeks she became a little worried. It was unlike Jennifer to not want to spend more time at home and she couldn't figure out what had caused this change in her behavior. But every time Molly tried talking to her, she found a reason to leave the room or change the conversation.
Jennifer did feel ill at ease keeping things from her sister and she could tell that she was genuinely interested and willing to help, but there was no way she could tell her what was going on with her. Even she knew it was a bit pathetic, especially at her age. She'd struggled more than she thought she would with the memories of being back here, particularly after she'd found out that Molly had been interested in getting to know Jake. Before coming back to Pleasanton, she could count the number of times she'd thought about Blake Rodgers in the past two years on both hands. She'd lost track in the past three and a half months.
There was obviously the box full of memories hidden in her room, that she still hadn't had the heart to get rid of. But there were places in town and the surrounding area that also reminded her more than she wanted to of the things they'd done together and how he'd broken her heart. Molly's mention of the festival was another stab to the heart, as that was the first thing Jennifer and Blake had done as a couple. So she'd played it off as having plans with Kayleigh, but instead she sat at home and wallowed. As more events took place in town, the more she found herself remembering and the harder it got to keep things straight.
One weekend she was home alone as Molly was working at the café. She turned the stereo on to keep the silence at bay, forgetting that her sister was forever leaving her country CDs in there.
There's something about yesterday, how fast it all flies away. I don't know what it is about a good night kiss, that makes you wanna stay. We were crazy, then we were over. We were breaking up, making love, a runaway rollercoaster.
Jennifer looked up from her plate, not remembering hearing this song before, but it definitely spoke to her. While she and Blake weren't constantly breaking up, they had their fights and he always won her back over, him and his stupid 'beggin' yer pardon ma'am' and crooked smile.
Every time I hear that song, I'm standing in the pouring rain on your front lawn and ooh-ooh-ooh.
Immediately she saw the night before her mother had moved them away in her mind's eye. It had been raining, and she had been out on his front lawn. She was so upset that she was being forced to move away. All she'd wanted to do was stay, with Blake and try to make whatever it was they had work. Didn't matter how much he hurt her, or how often he made her jealous, or that there were rumors he was seeing other girls. But he wouldn't come talk to her, saying she'd ruined things by having to move away.
Every time I hear that song, it's like the first time that it came on and ooh-ooh-ooh. I still think about you ooh-ooh.
None of it mattered, because he was her first love.
There's something in the bittersweet feeling of a memory, right there in the moment. All I ever wanted was you and me. We were crying, we were wasted. We were dying when they played it.
She looked down at her hand when she felt something wet hit her skin. It took her a moment to realize she'd started crying. She furiously started wiping her cheeks and eyes, but more just kept falling. Before she knew it, she was crying like a baby, her sobs racking her shoulders as she clutched her chest. All the hurt that she'd hidden over the years felt like they'd punched her and completed floored her.
Oh, I still think about you. There's a soundtrack in my mind, that takes me back in time. When I hear that melody, I think about you and me. Every time I hear that song, I'm standing n the pouring rain on your front lawn and ooh-ooh-ooh.
Jennifer wanted to go hide in her room, but as she got up, her knees just gave out and she continued crying on the floor. She couldn't figure out where all these tears were coming from, she would've thought she'd been cried out by now.
I still think about you ooh-ooh. I still think about you. Oh I still think about you. Yeah I still think about you.There's a soundtrack in my mind, that takes me back in time. When I hear that melody.
She wiped her tears as much as she could with some tissues that happened to be in her pocket, but they were replaced instantly with new ones. The one thing she was holding on to was that at least her sister wouldn't be home for a while to see this.
"Hey Jen, I'm home," Molly called out as she opened the door. Her sister didn't even try to get up and hide, she knew she'd never make it up the stairs unseen. "Oh my god, Jen... what happened?" she rushed to her side and sat down on the floor beside her. "Why are ye cryin'?"
"I... I..." Jennifer started, trying not to hyperventilate, not even sure how to explain what had happened to her today.
"Jen, ye can tell me," her younger sister reminded her, putting her arm around her shoulder to try and comfort her.
"I don't even know. I just put on the radio and got one of your stupid country CDs," she said, trying to put a laugh in there. "And it reminded me of Blake..." she finally admitted. She was going to have to tell her sister about him some time. Molly gave her a quick hug, not wanting to ruin the moment by saying or asking anything. Her sister needed to do this by herself. "He was so sweet to me at first," Jennifer started at the beginning. "He promised me the world... and told me he loved me quite quickly. I believed him," she added, a fresh wave of tears overcoming her. "Because he was so good in the beginning, I made excuses for him when he started making mistakes... he was a charmer, that's for sure. Beggin' yer pardon ma'am, I didn't mean no harm," Jennifer said, putting on his accent, and her sister understood now why, when Jake had said it, that had aggravated her instead of calmed her down.
"He didn't beat ye though right?" Molly asked softly, dreading the answer.
"No, he didn't beat me. It was about the one thing he didn't do," her sister answered wryly. "When he first started chasin' me, it made me feel special, like I was the prettiest girl in town. But once he had me, he controlled what I wore and who I hung out with. He didn't want to give any other guy the opportunity to flirt with me... or make me realize I could do better. I had to spend all my free time with him, and lost a lot of my friends. They tried to warn me about what he was doing to me... And that he was sleeping with other girls," Jennifer continued. "One or two of those girls ended up pregnant, and even then he managed to talk his way out of trouble."
"Pig," her sister swore under her breath.
"Yeah that's an understatement," she agreed with a wry laugh. "When mama told us we were moving, he was the first I told. I was hoping he would stick up for me, tell mama he'd look after me... but he..." she paused to fight back more tears. "He cast me off. Even when I said I thought I might be pregnant..." Molly's gasp interrupted her.
"You were pregnant? But Jen, ye were only 15 or 16," she asked shocked, surprised that her sister had had sex so young, especially after the hard time she'd given her growing up.
"I thought I was," Jennifer corrected. "It turned out to be a false positive. I was torn between relieved and devastated. At least if I had had his baby, I would've still had a part of him with me in Phoenix," she said, now getting a look of near disgust at how desperate she sounded. "That was how I felt at the time, not now," she clarified quickly. "He left me with very little confidence or self-worth. I even came back one week to convince him to take me back."
"I don't remember that," Molly said confused. Admittedly a lot from back then was a bit hazy, but she would've thought that she'd remember her sister disappearing for a weekend or longer.
"You were still too upset over daddy and movin' away from here. Ye wouldn't stop talking about Jake for the first week or so," her sister responded, feeling a little guilty when she saw the raised eyebrows on Molly's face. It was the first time she actually felt guilty about keeping her away from next door. "I'm sorry but I'm not sorry," Jennifer said, not realizing how much that infuriated her sister. "Jake looked up to Blake at that point and we don't know how long he ended up living with them. For all we know he passed all his tricks on and I don't want to see you go through the same shit I did," she explained.
Molly's look softened ever so slightly. "I appreciate ye lookin' out for me, I do. But Jake is nothin' like his cousin," she started.
"You don't know him that well yet. Blake was very charming and sweet to start with," Jennifer argued, making her sister bite back her response; she couldn't blurt out now that she'd continued seeing him.
"There's only one way to find out though," Molly argued rationally, feeling her hope crush when her sister shook her head resolutely.
"No way," she said firmly. "I'm only looking out for you," she added, seeing her younger sister swallow down an argument.