A long silence followed her up as she looked at the deceased mortal, watching as his eyes drifted down to his desk with a slight frown marring his face.
The silence persisted for some time as Hestia's nervousness grew until Paul finally looked back up at her. Without a word he stood and walked around his desk and towards a pair of chairs off to the side of the room.
...
To Hestia it looked like a little reading nook given the small shelves and bean-bag chairs littering the corner. She then watched as the deceased mortal carefully pulled the two chairs so that they were facing each other before sitting and gesturing to the other.
Understanding what he wanted, Hestia was quick to move and sit across from him with her hands folded on her lap as Paul rested his elbows on his knees and looked at her intently. His normally clear blue eyes seemed almost foggy as he looked at her but at the same time didn't, his brows furrowing as he seemed to think over his words before breaking the silence.
"When Sally told me about the Greek gods …" he started in a near whisper, his eyes shifting to look down through his interlaced fingers. "… That isn't a simple answer but I guess the beginning would have been confusion," he said as he then straightened up to look at her again. "I was more of a spiritual man rather than one believing in a true religion but when Sally suddenly sprung on me the actual existence of gods? With proof at that?"
He lightly shook his head with a wistful chuckle.
"I was honestly worried her drink had been laced with something but after checking several times and having some proof, well, there is only so long stubbornness born of denial can last. I asked Sally if she could give me some time alone to think, to really think about what I'd just learned and how it would change my world forever more," he said as he glanced at his hands again as his eyes darkened. "It was during that time that the uglier emotions started to rear their heads. Sure, I was awed for a moment but then I started to really think about the myths I knew and loved and suddenly, all the horrors recorded in them became all too real."
His eyes returned to her as a prominent frown made its way onto his face.
"It's one thing to hear or read ancient stories from a faraway land but to know the reasons for those stories were actually here, in the very same city? Well, to say I was terrified would have been rather mild but …" he trailed off for a moment as his frown dropped to an almost rueful smile. "… By that point I was already well and truly in love with Sally and even with my fears, I took the dive. After all, sometimes love and happiness are worth the risk," he said with a warmer smile towards the end before suddenly his entire expression darkened.
"However, even if I'd chosen to stay with her, it doesn't mean it was suddenly perfect and there came one of my most glaring issues … Percy," he said as she looked at him with wide eyes to which he nodded slowly. "I had personally liked Percy and still did but with my knew knowledge of just who is father was, an issue I imagine many couples deal with when one of them have a child from a previous relationship came back even stronger."
Paul then slowly stood up and walked around his chair to stand in front of one of the open windows, his hair lightly tasseling in a gentle breeze that passed with his back to Hestia.
"I'd always had this concern, this doubt about Poseidon and by extension, Percy himself. What if Poseidon decided to come back into Sally's life? What if Percy facilitated that, being a walking, breathing reminder of Poseidon? Before Poseidon had just been another man to me, one that once wooed my now wife and abandoned her to raise their child on her own but now? Now I knew I was literally in comparison to a god, a being that could just take Sally on a whim, and as mere mortals, our thoughts on the matter would have been irrelevant."
Paul then sighed as he half turned to look at her, his eyes boring into hers.
"Deep down I also knew Sally had some lingering feelings for Poseidon, even if she had moved on and was happy with me but, can you really blame me for having doubts? Poseidon was a god … rich, handsome, and powerful. Had Sally allowed it, he could have made her every wish and dream come true and what was I? A simple man almost past his prime that taught English and Writing and spent personal time reading old stories and debating colleagues."
He then gave a tired sigh as he fully turned and walked back towards her before letting himself drop into the chair across from her.
"Then there were my doubts about Percy," he said as he looked down and clasped his hands together. "I knew he'd been without a proper father-figure for most of his life and grew up stronger out of necessity, especially when it came to being protective of his mother. He was a demigod, a hero almost constantly risking life and limb … what could a mortal man like me possibly do for him? How could I bridge the gap between us, especially if Percy's reaction to me could easily make or break my relationship with Sally?"
Paul then raised his face as he looked at Hestia.
"But in the end that's what they turned out to be, mere doubts and fears when I only took myself into consideration and how I compared to what I thought was needed. Sally and Percy though didn't care for it, not whether I was rich and powerful, not whether I was some great hero or warrior but simply of who I was," he said as a warm smile made its way onto his face.
"It wasn't a switch being flipped, no light descending on me with a great epiphany, but a slow assimilation and acknowledgement. I had to accept that I wasn't Poseidon, that I would never be him or an equal replacement of some sort, and that it was okay. That at the end of the day all that Sally and Percy wanted, and needed, was just the simple honest man named Paul Blofis," he finished, getting a soft smile out of Hestia as she rubbed at one of her eyes.
However, the tender air was quickly shifted as Paul asked her a question in turn.
"But now I wonder, what's got you asking things like that?"
Her demeanor shifted as her back went rigid for a moment, her eyes nailed to his as she felt that nervousness return. However, she only saw warmth and care in his gaze as he looked at her, even going as far as to reach over and gently cup one of her hands with his. Feeling both his concern and knowing that he would not judge her for how she felt, she told him all.
Sometimes she spoke in whispers as he patiently waited, only giving soft hums or nods to show that he was listening and ready for her to go on. At other times her voice came as a deep growl as she talked about Annabeth and what she had felt for the demigoddess turned immortal during those years on Olympus but he didn't shy away, instead squeezing her hand in support. A then she came to Cloelia and on what happened since yesterday, her voice choking up as she described Percy, his shaken state, and then the current outlook for the godling's condition.
And then of course, the only possibility for rescuing the godling from such a fate, and the cost it needed.
After she finished she turned her gaze down, feeling a familiar shame well up within her as she looked at her own trembling hands. Even now her mind tortured her with whispers, faint yet almost sinister voices that replayed her own thoughts and desires in her own voice. How Cloelia was still not only Annabeth's child, but the offspring born of the affair that broke her husband's heart.
Before, Cloelia might have been Chase's child but a child that was far away and next to no reason for her to be close to them and especially close to Percy. Hestia had been perfectly content with that distance and bore no ill will to the godling, even finding morbid amusement in knowing the girl idolized Percy. She could just picture her every praise of the Great Hero and how it would no doubt sting the likes of Apollo and Chase for various reasons.
But no more. Now the girl was very much close, too close for Hestia to remain disinterested and apathetic.
As much as she tried to deny it, she knew a part of her hated the child. For everything she represented to the constant reminder of Chase, as if she was the last obstacle against finally letting the dead rest. 'But she's just a little girl!' Hestia screamed at herself, feeling torn as to how and what she should feel versus what actually was. However before her thoughts could get too rampant she felt Paul taking up her hands as her gaze snapped up.
Meeting the calm of his bright blue eyes to her burning red, she felt herself calm if only slightly.
"Hestia …" he began gently, running his thumbs over the back of her hands. "… I know this may be sudden but, answer me honestly. Why do you always doubt yourself and your worth?" he asked, making her start as she looked at him with wide eyes.
"W-what? But I don—"
"Hestia," Paul cut in firmly, his eyes locking on hers. "… Please. I've seen those eyes in a mirror before and I know something is scaring you … something is making you doubt."
As he said that Hestia couldn't help but look down, refusing to meet his gaze even as he continued to speak.
"Perhaps you're scared that Percy will accept Cloelia as his daughter?" he asked.
"Of course he would," she mumbled softly, her eyes starting to sting as her words carried through. "He would never save her just to toss her into an orphanage or onto someone else. He would demand to be part of her life, to take care of her … to be the father he didn't have."
"And are you angry at him for that?" Paul asked tentatively only for her to shake her head.
"How could I? Him being the way he is, is the reason I fell in love with him … even if I didn't have a chance at the time," she replied softly, her throat starting to burn as her hands clenched.
"Then do you doubt him?" Paul asked only for Hestia to look up at the spirit with confusion in her eyes. "Do you think that he'll favor Cloelia and forget about you?"
"Of course not!" Hestia bit back, affronted that Paul would even suggest such a thing. "He loves me and would never do something like that!"
"Then what are you sacred of?" Paul retorted, his eyes firm and unflinching from her tone. "You trust Percy and you accept that he would take on Cloelia as his daughter should he save her, so what? Annabeth has passed on, my Chaos keep her, so why does a godling's presence scare you? Would you think her a threat after everything that's happened to her?" he asked sharply as Hestia turned her gaze away, tears starting to well-up in her eyes.
She heard Paul sigh but she refused to look, her lips trembling until she froze at what Paul said next.
"Or … are you scared of what else Cloelia would need. After all, if Percy becomes her father, she'll still need a mother."
Silence descended after Paul stopped, the goddess frozen as what he said played over and over in her head.
… How?
...
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