Yeah, so I just straight up cannot write a chapter; I get almost exactly 250 words in and hate it and can't add anything more to it..... Might get something that works for it soon since I'm (hopefully) finally getting that ADD diagnosis and can most likely get some medicine for it the 30th of this month.... You don't need to read anything below this; just know that I hopefully will get some medicine that will help me focus; after this is just me needing to get some shit out of my chest into the great abyss that is the internet.
As a quick side note: You guys can just refer to me as Vee if you're addressing me in the comments, it's the name I am called by my online friends and such.
Other than that, life keeps handing me L's over and over again. First I had a fucking stressful move because someone else in my family decided that it was a good time to move at the same time that I had planned and then suddenly every single person that was meant to help me out with moving just peaced out and helped them instead, then I started on my first Internship (unpaid) which had me fucking drained for a couple of months(also nearly got run over by a car once when going to the Internship btw), then things were going fine for a while and then my mind decided that it was the perfect time to say "Ha, fuck you" and replay every single traumatic experience I've had with my dad for some time now(Start February to now), and now we reached the lastest shit I've been through and the thing that has hit me the hardest: I'm an afterthought when it comes to nearly everything my family plans, and yes that includes my birthday. My life has quite literally revolved around what my little sister wants for the last three years or so. I get it okay, because "It's so sad for her" that she got removed by CPS(Or at least the Danish equivalent) due to their incompetence; I get it, I really do.... but I also exist, I also have emotions and feelings, yet in all this time it has just been a pity parade for my little sister and my mom and quite literally only a single person in my family has seen how they treat me and asked if I was okay and that is my Aunt's Boyfriend who has barely known me for a year and even then we haven't seen each other much.... a single fucking person, one that has known me for such a short amount of time, yet he was the only one who has bothered to actually ask me directly if I'm okay, not the people I've know my entire life, no. I think writing this out has made me realize a lot of things that I don't like... I'm just not that important to my family, and I never really have been. Perhaps it's because I'm the oldest since that means, "It's okay if we mess up a little; he's the oldest, after all".....
It really feels pathetic that the only way I feel I can talk about stuff like this is by screaming it into the void of the internet, to people who will never meet me in person, to people I will never meet in person nor have a relationship of more than just "Writer And Reader".
Truly living up to my username eh? well except the "Dreaming" part, lost that shit some time ago now. And just in case you read this far; thank you, truly.