"Legend has it, on that windy and moonless night, when Gu Liqi saw the might of our mortars, he was driven to a desperate action, risking everything in his last, dying struggle! Then he led his massive army to cross the Huanghe River to assassinate the Emperor! To kill the late Emperor! We were just waiting for those bastards to take the bait! As they reached the middle of the Huanghe River, we released a bunch of sky lanterns with bombs hanging beneath them! They were blown up on the spot, even the river's turtles detested them!"
"The Emperor led the charge himself, and those Waci bastards were so terrified they wet themselves! We fought all the way, reclaiming our lost territory, right up to Capital Jingcheng! That second Prince of Waci, what's his name, Dan Dan, was so scared he started foaming at the mouth, his eyes rolling back as he lit himself on fire and ascended to heaven! The fire burned so brilliantly!"
