Down the empty hallway, all Hyunwoo could see was the back of Seojun's silhouette. Their hands held onto each other's as the sound of footsteps echoed in rhythm. In that moment, for some reason he couldn't understand, Hyunwoo felt a slight flutter in his heart.
He sat still, almost stiff as Seojun cleaned the wound, with his hands on his knees and a straightened back.
"Ah." He winced in pain as Seojun suddenly pressed down hard. "What—"
"Stay still."
Hyunwoo hadn't noticed it earlier but face to face, Seojun was looking at him with so much worry like he'd forgotten he was meant to be angry, making him laugh all of a sudden.
For Seojun who couldn't find anything humorous about the situation, he paused what he was doing as his eyes grew wide. "What, why are you laughing?"
"Because, you're not mad at me." Hyunwoo smiled as he rested his head on Seojun's shoulder.
"What a stupid reason.."
He nuzzled the side of his neck, small sighs as he caressed Seojun's ear. Something that seemed loving but desperate. "Seojun-ah."
Seojun flinched as the soft whisper reached him, almost like a spell as the strength in his body melted away. He knew he had already gave in. "Hm?"
"There's something I want to tell you."
No matter your reaction… As long as you know.
"What is it?"
Right now, he's the happiest he's ever been, and he doesn't know how to deal with that.
-
If you were to ask Hyunwoo about his childhood, he wouldn't tell you much, only that he was raised by his Mum. Though that wasn't entirely true. For the first few years as a child, his Dad was there and even now, Hyunwoo would probably call that the most normal part of his childhood, despite not being able to recall much of it.
What he could remember however, was his Dad becoming more and more absent, and finally disappearing on the day his younger sister was born. His last and perhaps only act of love for his family, was a check.
Even though he was just a kid, Hyunwoo already knew why he had left. It was hard not to when their neighbours wouldn't stop talking about the affair. He didn't care that they were talking bad about his Dad, in fact, most of the time Hyunwoo had silently agreed with them because he just needed someone to blame, but the more he heard, the more he realised he wasn't the bad guy in their 'stories', it was 'her'.
He would never understand the pressure his Mum was under back then but he knew, so Hyunwoo behaved well. He listened to her, stayed home to watch Jiwoo whenever she had to work and was even friendly to the same people that didn't seem to like their family much, to the point where he'd gotten along with everyone in the neighbourhood. He was a sweet child, the dream of every parent. The only problem was his grades, and that dragged him down.
Middle school began and Hyunwoo realised he wasn't exactly smart, average at best, so making friends with the smart students didn't seem right but that didn't mean he wanted to be with the slackers either; as condescending as it may seem, he thought he was still better than them.
A teen's interpretation and expression of feelings are never objectively accurate. Yet their peers who should be the most understanding, takes the most offense, so it's no surprise to anyone if these years turn out to be one of the worst in your life.
A small group of guys in high school was the sole reason Kim Hyunwoo strayed from the image of the perfect son.
His mediocre grades that kept him in the same school was what made them think he was like them, and perhaps, years of being normal and average, was what made Hyunwoo believe that too, so friendships quickly bloomed. He was an easy going person and maintaining friendships was easy because a genuine person will always be loved, but their bonds formed on fragile branches broke just as easily as they were created.
Hyunwoo's Mum had never approved of his new friends due to their nature to get into trouble at school but pushed back her worries on the excuse of him just being a teenager; sure, she would nag a couple times if he came home late or got into little fights at school, but she trusted him and as long as he was safe, she would be able to sleep.
One night, the group had decided to go to their usual internet café to catch up on a game, something they did together often.
"Hyunwoo, left, left!"
"Yes! We finally cleared it!"
"Alright I'm hungry, gonna go get something to eat."
"Yeah me too."
"Oh, I'll come with you."
Slipping the headphone off of one ear, Hyunwoo looked up as their last friend got up to join, leaving him alone. It was unusual as normally one or two of them would stay whilst the rest went to get something for everyone, but he didn't mind some quiet time for himself either. That only became a problem when after 30 minutes and playing another round by himself, they still hadn't returned. About to go look for them, he paused as his phone suddenly rang.
"Hello? Why aren't you guys back yet?"
"Hyunwoo, come to the back quickly! Something happened to Seungmin!"
If he could've gone back in time, even if he could've prevented himself from becoming friends with them in the first place, Hyunwoo would've only stopped himself in that moment. Because the memories they shared up to that point was because he believed they had been genuine friends to him until then.
That night, the police would find a group of teenage boys unconscious in the back alley of the internet café with severe injuries on their bodies all caused by brute force.
00:23 AM
3 missed calls from Mum
16 New messages
Hyunwoo switched his phone off as he made his way home. Something felt off as he looked around at the quiet town. Each car, each person that passed by him made his brain so alert it had given him a headache and his vision had turned weird too.
Why's everything so blurry.. fuck
"Hyunwoo!"
…huh?
Hyunwoo slowly looked around, realising he had made it home somehow. His eyes still blurry as it trailed down to his hands, meeting a contrast of colour between the blood running through his veins and the broken pieces of glass.
Why is it…
"It's alright, it's alright.."
What?
What are you talking about?
There was a strange man stood in the middle of their living room, his hand pressing firmly against his neck, covered with blood. "Kukk— aaagh.." With a weak gasp, his grip loosened before he slumped onto the wooden floor, his body fully surrounded by the glass shards that had shattered in the struggle. That was when Hyunwoo finally put the pieces together.
The lifeless body on the ground suddenly became familiar. His face and features, although had changed with age, was still like the one in Hyunwoo's memories.
Dad?
For him who had hatred held in his heart, the night was surreal but for the little girl who was stood by her bedroom door, that was the night the Dad she had never had a chance to meet, a chance to develop a bond with, or to even hate, died.
And for that, he will forever take the blame.
The trial he had sat through, those countless hours of pitiful gazes that felt truly empty is what made him think life as he knew, had ended, at just sixteen years old.
-
Within the numbing infirmary air, Hyunwoo felt a warm touch on the side of his face.
Seojun wiped the tear that had fallen with his thumb, his eyes unable to look directly into Hyunwoo's. It wasn't out of fear or pity but rather because his heart was hurt.
How can you not even realise when you're crying...
"Hyunwoo."
Hyunwoo pressed his hand against Seojun's, his face somewhat resembling a puppy's as he murmured. "Hm?"
"I like you."
"...."
His lips parted for a moment.
Then the lost look on his face disappeared immediately as he gave a small chuckle, "suddenly?"
Although his eyes were still a little swollen and his voice hoarse, seeing a smile on his face made Seojun glad he was sure. "It's not sudden, I wanted to tell you before."
"Before? …Ah..." It seemed like he figured out what Seojun meant as he reached his arms out and suddenly pulled him into a hug.
"What—"
"Don't worry, I didn't smoke so you won't smell anything."
"... I know. I already knew the lighter doesn't work." Seojun mumbled, lowering his face. This was the first time he felt like he would only be okay if someone else was.