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Chapter 69 - Ponder.

Those first few weeks were the hardest,

Having to do away with the love that was our garden

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And...

I don't even think I know what we were building towards,

I think about the fights we had, so many heavy, loaded words

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And...

Sometimes I wonder if there was anything that I could do

To get you to understand the depth of love I had for you.

-

And...

Life is layered in lies and lust and laughs and likes and little moments

There's only so much time that we can plant our seeds and grow with.

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I miss you all the time

 I know you miss me too

 I know it...

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But what does this mean,

 Why was it so damn hard to show it?

That was a different time

 Maybe it was just me below it.

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I'm always sitting 

Think about what we could be

I wonder why it seems so difficult for you to just love me.

Could it be

 That I am not the man you always thought that I could be?

That maybe deep inside you have some other shifted view of me?

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And...

I guess love is something I am just not meant to understand.

Like microaggression pre-proportioned between old lover's hands

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And...

I'll just take you one day at a time, that's the best I can

Do with the view that I have of you right now versus back then.

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