On the day the empire's artists slapped EeDechi's detailed portrait onto Baharuth's wanted board…
Morning broke over the Great Tomb of Nazarick. The big bad Ainz Ooal Gown woke up as usual, rolling out of bed. Clueless that someone out there wanted to bash his skull in, he was in a pretty decent mood. After a bubble bath with a slime scrubbing him down, he knocked out the day's paperwork in no time.
His underlings didn't have much to report—nothing too heavy or tangled. The only thing worth a damn was the new batch of weapons and armor the dwarf kingdom had sent as tribute. Ever since the Great Tomb of Nazarick flexed its unstoppable might by wiping out the Quagoa, a bunch of far-off nations and tribes—different races and all—had bent the knee.
Feeling bored as hell, Ainz figured since he had nothing going on, he might as well swing by and check out Emperor Jircniv of Baharuth again—study the guy's moves, manners, and vibe.
Jircniv was a young hotshot emperor, sharp as a blade and ruthless to match. To lock down the royal family's power, he'd kicked off his reign with a massive purge of the nobles, earning himself the nickname "Bloody Emperor."
In the game of thrones, he was a cold, tough bastard, but as a ruler, he got the job done. Jircniv rolled out a slew of reforms that juiced up Baharuth's economy and military big time.
Before getting sucked into this isekai gig, Ainz was just a lowlife office grunt. Now, bam—he's the big shot, the Supreme Overlord of the Great Tomb of Nazarick. It's a hell of a jump, and he's still figuring out how to roll with it. So, he's taken to slapping on some invisibility magic and shadowing Emperor Jircniv, soaking up the guy's every move to level up his own "kingly swagger."
It's a solid play. After secretly tailing the emperor for a while behind his minions' backs, Albedo once gushed with starry eyes that Lord Ainz was becoming more and more regal—and it didn't even sound like she was kissing ass.
Ainz made up his mind. He fired up a teleport spell to zip into Baharuth's capital palace, flipped on some high-tier invisibility magic, and strolled into the hall where Jircniv meets his ministers. For Ainz, who's packing tenth-tier spells and Super-Tier Magic, the palace's top-tier sixth-tier defense and guard spells are a joke—like a kid's chalk scribbles on the ground.
It was still early. Ainz poked his head into the emperor's bedroom—Jircniv was still crashed out. No rush, though. Ainz pulled a chair from his storage space, plopped down in the hall, and waited.
Tick-tock, tick-tock. After a while, Ainz noticed Jircniv still hadn't shown up to the minister-meeting hall.
"What's the deal? Does the emperor get vacation days or something?" Puzzled, Ainz cast a high-tier spell to phase through the walls and slipped back into Jircniv's bedroom.
He saw Emperor Jircniv press a young maid, dressed in white stockings, onto the bed and fucking her hard.
"Eh..." Ainz, cloaked in an invisibility and silence spell, observed the sex scene before him, "What a lively young man indeed."
Ainz looked at Jircniv's various sex positions, from missionary style to doggy style to cowgirl, and expressed admiration.
Still, Ainz didn't feel much of a stir in his chest. Ever since crossing into this isekai and turning from human to undead, his cravings for flesh and fun had pretty much dried up.
Then Albedo popped into his head, and a sharp ache started throbbing behind his skull.
"Forget it, I'll wait a bit longer." Ainz ditched the idea of hitting Jircniv with a premature ejaculation spell to jolt him awake and wandered back to the minister-meeting hall to keep chilling. The place was dead empty—until the emperor plopped his ass on the throne, no ministers or generals bothered showing up.
…
Ainz flipped through his little black notebook, brushing up on the quirks and fancy manners he'd jotted down from watching Baharuth's Emperor Jircniv.
"Walk with eyes straight ahead, but keep a sliver of side-eye to scope out the surroundings."
"When addressed by subordinates from behind, turn slowly and don't respond too hastily, as if the subordinate is assigning you a task…"
"Hm?" Ainz glanced up from the notebook. A girl in loose black clothes, a gray shawl draped over her shoulders, short black hair, and a giant sword slung across her back shoved open the hall's gold-trimmed doors. She strolled through the huge, empty space like she owned the damn place.
Who the hell was this girl? Ainz was stumped. He'd been popping in and out of the palace to spy on Emperor Jircniv for almost a month now and had never laid eyes on this black-haired broad.
This was the emperor's main hall for meeting ministers, too. The only ones who could strut around here armed were the legendary Four Imperial Knights or a handful of Jircniv's trusted generals. Anyone else dumb enough to waltz in with a weapon would get pegged as an assassin and cut down on the spot.
Was this girl lost or something? Ainz couldn't quite figure her out. Not that it was his problem—rocking an 8th Tier basic invisibility spell, no one in the palace could spot him anyway. This spaced-out girl could get hacked into ground beef by the empire's royal knights in a minute, and it wouldn't have jack to do with him.
The black-clad girl with the longsword on her back strutted right up to where Ainz was sitting. She scoped out the glitzy, gold-drenched hall, left to right, then locked her eyes on his spot, her dark gaze dripping with curiosity.
"Hey, you dressed-up skeleton, got a question. Where's that emperor guy, Jirk-whatever-his-name-is?" she asked, tossing the words in Ainz's direction like she was chatting up a buddy.
"Huh? You can see me?" Ainz damn near jumped out of his chair. He snapped his black notebook shut and glanced down at the magic aura swirling around him. The mana was still humming—his invisibility spell hadn't crapped out.
EeDechi thought this undead dude with a Justice Value of -500 was talking pure nonsense. A big-ass skeleton parked in a chair with "-500" floating over his head—how could anyone miss that? Justice Value -500 meant he was a rotten bastard. Maybe his brain was rotten too.
Still, she kept her cool and played nice. She'd stormed from the castle outskirts straight into the palace core, flattening dozens of guards and knights along the way, but none of them spilled where the emperor was holed up.
EeDechi had finally clocked it: violence wasn't gonna cut it. Time to talk it out.
Ainz rested a hand on the chair's armrest, casually firing off a high-tier detection spell at the girl without her noticing.
Tenth-tier magic: Strength Scan.
A string of text and symbols popped up in Ainz's vision:
Race: Human
Level: ???
Strength: ???
Magic: ???
Innate Talent: ???
Defense Magic: ???
Potential Attack: ???
Ainz went on high alert in a flash. This many "???" popping up in his detection spell was a first since he'd crossed into this isekai. Either this girl was rocking a tenth-tier or Super-Tier counter-detection spell, or she was packing some artifact with magic power on par with tenth-tier to block his scan!
And she'd pierced through his 8th Tier invisibility spell with her bare eyes—no magic tricks needed. That meant this girl had some serious magical juice, probably slinging spells above 8th Tier, no sweat!
Ainz got it now—he'd stumbled into a run-in with some mysterious heavy hitter. After tamping down a flicker of excitement and nerves, he clocked that this unknown powerhouse didn't seem hostile. For now, he'd hold off throwing punches.
"What do you want with Emperor Jircniv?" Ainz cooled his jets, settling back into calm. He couldn't make a move without more intel.
"I've got some business with the kid—gonna teach him a thing or two about running a country," EeDechi said, her tone all casual and cocky.
Jircniv wasn't some dude you just "went to find." He was the damn emperor, Baharuth's top dog! The guy with the "Bloody Emperor" title, ruler of a whole nation!
Ainz felt a wave of what-the-hell wash over him, totally lost on what this deadpan girl was cooking up in her head.
However, considering that he himself had been casually roaming the palace, peeping, no, observing Jircniv's behavior and etiquette for quite some time, he didn't have much room to criticize the girl for her actions.
"And who are you?" EeDechi fired back at Ainz Ooal Gown. Out of nowhere, she reached out, snatched the little black notebook from his hands, and started flipping through it.
"Hey! How can you just grab someone's stuff like that?" Ainz jolted—her sudden move caught him totally off guard.
"Just taking a peek, not stealing it or anything." EeDechi flipped open the notebook and skimmed a few pages. It was packed with detailed notes on the emperor's habits and moves, down to the nitty-gritty.
"What's this for?" EeDechi handed the notebook back to Ainz Ooal Gown, eyeing him.
"Uh…" Ainz took it, deciding to play it safe until he knew more about her. "I'm in charge of recording… yeah, recording the emperor's etiquette and gestures. Gotta fix up his day-to-day vibe, make him ooze more kingly swagger."
"That so?" EeDechi shrugged, not buying it or caring. "So, you know where the emperor's at?"
Right then, a message pinged in from the Great Tomb of Nazarick. A red magic scroll popped into Ainz's hand, and he switched it to eyeball display.
In his vision, Sebas—decked out in a slick tuxedo—gave Ainz an awkward look. He bowed deep, his neat gray-white beard trembling a bit. "Honored Supreme Overlord, Shalltear and Albedo are squabbling over who owns the bathrobe you wore today. They're about to throw down. Please come talk some sense into them."
"Or maybe you could take another bath?" Sebas tossed out a cautious suggestion.
The message cut off, his sight cleared, and Ainz felt a headache coming on.
"Hey? Where's the emperor at? Don't just sit there like a mute." The black-haired girl in front of him sounded a little pissed.
"Wait here. He'll plop down in that spot soon enough." Ainz pointed to a fancy, jewel-crusted throne deep in the hall.
He'd dig into this girl later, Ainz figured. He fired up a teleport spell and bailed from Baharuth's capital.
"Huh? Gone!" EeDechi gawked as the undead guy, chair and all, blinked out of the palace in an instant, leaving her stunned as hell.