I looked at the clock and it was almost 8:20.
The library opens at 9:00 in the morning, and by 8:40, people line up to get a seat. There are a lot of people lining up, especially at this time of year. If I'm going to be in the library all day, I want to get a seat as much as possible. I have to hurry to the library.
"Riri, hurry up and get out of the house. Someone's coming."
As I was getting ready, my mother opened the door and came in.
Someone is coming over to my house today, so I've been told to leave early in the morning and not come back until the evening. I understand. It's always like that on Saturdays and Sundays, and there will probably be more days like that even after the winter break starts. I've been killing time reading books at the library during that time. I like books, so I didn't mind.
"Wait a minute, are you really going to go out looking so shabby?"
When I was about to leave the house with my meal money (for breakfast, lunch, and dinner), my mother called me to stop her. My clothes today were fluffy so that I could withstand the cold winter weather, so they were a bit unfashionable.
"When you wear shabby clothes, people say stuff about me behind my back."
Sorry.
Mom was a kind mother in the past. It was my fault that she became like this. When I was in the first grade of elementary school, I had my mother come to visit us on Open Day and talked to the other children's parents.
In order to avoid making my mother feel uncomfortable, I chose the cutest clothes I owned and put them on.
A blouse with frills and ribbons, a cream-colored cardigan also with ribbons, a red checked skirt with white tights, a coat long enough to not hide the pattern of the skirt, and a pochette with a picture of a white ribbon on a black background.
Stand in front of the mirror. It looks good.
I turned around to look at my mother, who looked annoyed as she looked at the clock.
"Just go quickly. He's coming soon."
I muttered "I'm sorry" in a small voice and quickly walked past my mother. When I opened the door to the apartment, I heard my mother say, "I shouldn't have given birth to such a child." I didn't want to hear it.
◇
Ugh... it's cold...
Getting ready took twice as long because I had changed my clothes. I had to hurry. I walked quickly down a back street.
This route doesn't seem to be used by many people, but it's a shortcut to the library. I think it will save me about 5-6 minutes. I often use it on days like today when I leave the house late, and on winter mornings when I can't stand the cold.
However,
"He's here again today..."
A large wagon is parked here today, blocking a narrow back road. For the past month or so, it has been parked here in the mornings. There is a gap on the left side, so it's not like I can't slip through, but I'm afraid of making eye contact with the person inside, so I always look down as I pass by.
If we just slip through it in one go, there'll be no problem..
Thinking this, I started walking faster when I noticed something different today. The back door was open. If I inadvertently looked inside, I might be scolded for not looking. I decided to pass by facing the wall on the opposite side of the car. That was a mistake.
*Grab!*
The first thing they grabbed was my face, and it felt like my mouth was being clamped down with something.
At the same time, someone grabbed me on the left side.
One second.
In just a second the scenery changed.
I was walking down a narrow road a moment ago, but now I was in a car. There was a strong smell and a number of large cameras lined up, probably from a TV station. I heard the door, which had been open a moment ago, close with a clatter.
I didn't understand what was going on and was about to say, "You've got the wrong person. I had no business in the car, and I didn't know any adults who would drive." But then I was shocked to see the man who dragged me into the car and straddled me.
He was wearing a black mask, like the terrorists and kidnappers on TV wear, and in his right hand he was holding a large knife, the like of which I've only seen in movies.
"Don't make a sound. If you do, I'll hit you."
It was a deep, heavy voice, that of a grown man.
As I stood there, speechless, the knife was swung down. Not at me, but at the cushion beside me. Over and over and over and over again. The cushion was torn apart by the knife, scattering its fluffy contents miserably everywhere.
What if this knife was stuck to me?
Trembling with fear, I shut my mouth tightly and nodded silently.
"Okay, be a good kid," the man said, taking out what looked like a black stick, opening my mouth which I had been desperately trying to close, and telling me to bite it.
"Mmgh..."
My mouth was hanging open and I couldn't speak.
Next, I was turned face down and both my right and left hands were pulled towards my back. I couldn't see it, but it seemed like something was attached to my wrists, and I couldn't move my hands back.
"Hmmm... hmmm..."
This time I was turned onto my side and saw thick black rings being attached to both my ankles. The rings held my right and left legs together, preventing me from spreading them apart. I think the rings attached to my hands were similar.
Furthermore, instead of one on each arm and leg, a single belt-like device was now placed around the lower legs, preventing the knees from spreading apart.
My mouth was covered, my wrists were tied behind my back, my ankles were tied, and my knees were tied. It was at this point that I finally realized I was being raped.
I looked at the man and this time he pulled out a big bag. It was the kind of big bag that adults take on trips or training camps. I wondered what he would take out of it this time, but there was nothing in it.
"Now, please behave yourself, you good girl. I'm going to have you come inside now."
I couldn't believe my ears.
This bag wasn't meant to bring something in and take something out of it, it was to put me inside it...
"You haven't forgotten, have you? If you get flustered, I'll just stab you with that knife."
I could only tremble as the man picked me up and put me snugly into a large bag. Then he closed the zipper. The part around my face was the only part that hadn't been closed yet, but I couldn't move my arms or legs, so all I could do was roll on the floor.
The man opens up what I thought was a mat, revealing a space underneath to put something.
"Well, it's a little cramped, but please stay in here for a while."
The man easily lifted the bag containing me and placed it into the space.
"Mmh! Mmh!"
Turning pale, I called out for help, but the man just grinned and zipped up the bag. I couldn't see anything. Inside the bag was dark, cramped, and scary.
"That's right. If I close the lid here, it will be completely dark, so there's no point in making noise."
That voice and the sound of what seemed to be the lid being closed were the last sounds.
Ah, ah...! What should I do? What should I do? Fear, anxiety, and loneliness are washing over me.
It was a world without light or sound, but after a while I felt the ground shaking. The car started to move.
Why, why did this happen... I had to take that road. Thinking this, I began to sob in the space where the only sound was my own crying.