Edited by: ASaltedFish
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Ellery "regained" consciousness, he found himself in the house he had once shared with Leonard. He held his newborn son in his arms while Leonard sat on the couch, typing on his terminal while ignoring him.
"Leonard… Could you hold Aspen while I rest?" Ellery found himself saying, but he could not control this body. It was like he was watching a movie through the eyes of a stranger.
"Heh, you were so insistent on having a child, and now you don't even want to take care of him?" The man sneered as he rolled his eyes.
"You said if we had a kid, you would love and take care of our family! I did everything you wanted me to do, but why do you treat us like this?"
"Heh, you are nothing more than just a breeding tool." Leonard didn't even look at him. "You know, Darian can't have kids, so I wanted you to make some of my offspring. That's all you are really good for."
Ellery stood in the living room, stunned by what he heard. He could hear Aspen crying, but it was like he was watching this scene play out from outside of his body.
These memories were ones that he wanted to get rid of.
He hated how much love he gave to Leonard, only to be stepped on like a doormat. He hated that he gave "birth" to a son for this man, but he didn't hate his son. He loved Aspen so much but also felt sorry that he was born into this family that he desperately tried to create with a man who never loved him.
Ellery remembered at this moment that he wished Aspen was never born—even though he loved his son very much. He felt it was cruel to bring a child into a family that was as dysfunctional as the one he helped create.
Ellery watched as his mouth moved. "Since you don't love me, then let us divorce. I will have primary custody until Aspen is old enough to stay with you and Darian."
"You always do this. Threatening divorce every time you complain and nag." Leonard stood up, pointing his finger at Ellery while yelling at him. "You are nothing but an orphan with no other family to rely on. The Empire will never be on your side, even if you are an S-ranked Guide. Do you think the Vales and Velenet family would give you primary custody? What a fucking joke."
"I still want a divorce. I don't want to live like this anymore."
"Try to get divorce me. I will show you the difference between an orphan and a noble family."
After that, Leonard stomped out of the house, not wanting to stay any longer because being with Ellery meant constant arguing. He would rather be with Darian, who was cute and obedient.
He only married Ellery because Darian could not have children. He also had a higher compatibility with him than Darian. It would have been better if Darian could replace Ellery, but Leonard felt fate was cruel to him.
Ellery didn't care about Leonard's threats this time. He was an S-ranked guide. Why did he need to continue groveling for a man who did not love him and who beat, yelled, and blamed him for everything wrong in his life?
He wanted a better life for his son, so he packed up his belongings along with his son's and ran back to his childhood home. It was the only place he could go to, but at least it was his safe place.
But in the end, he watched as his son was taken from him as he died in his childhood home.
Yes, he died, but so what? Now, he had Akimitsu, Aster, Edros, Orin, and Darya in his life. He was no longer alone or struggling to get love from a man who would never love him. He did not have to fight with in-laws or with mistresses.
He was much happier now and stronger. He would never make the same mistake twice.
Still, even if he knew he had grown since then, the memories of his previous life did not stop.
Memories of his life before his death popped up. His fights with Darian, his arguments with Leonard, and his in-laws.
When he almost died by an Inek and was in a coma for a month also resurfaced, but in his previous life, Aster was not there.
Then he saw the time he got the news that his brother had gone missing, and only Darya had made it back from planet MPE42. Or when his parents died, and he and his brother hugged each other but were unable to cry at their parents' funeral.
All of those painful memories from his past life came at him, repeating these memories in his soul that he tried to forget. They circled around him, tugging at his arms, almost ripping them off.
The pain of these memories clung to him physically and mentally, hoping that he would turn around and reflect on them. It was almost like the memories had a mind of their own, trying to lure him to turn around and come back to them.
He couldn't turn back. He couldn't turn around! That was what the Beast God and Adel told him.
Ellery did his best to shake these personified memories off of him, but they continued to cling to his arms and legs, trying to drag him backward.
Still, Ellery did not turn around but tried to run forward, hoping that he could escape from these memories that wanted to consume him.
As he ran, it was like the memories had turned into blades. As they gripped on to him, the memories sunk into his skin, trying to implant themselves into him. He ignored the feeling even if it felt like he was bleeding, limbs on fire, with the pain seeming to get worse as time went on.
He could not turn back. Everyone was waiting for him, but not only that, Aster was counting on him to be strong, too.
Ellery kept running, ignoring the pain of his memories. He ran forward, watching as a pinhole of light became bigger and bigger until it consumed his entire body.
Once engulfed in the light, all the pain stopped, and he was finally able to open his eyes.
*****
When Ellery woke up, he was still in the field of flowers. Next to him, Aster was lying on the ground. His eyebrows were furrowed, his hands were clenching onto his shirt, and sweat was dripping down his forehead, showing he was in pain but was enduring.
"If I am alive… Does that mean we will be successful?" Ellery mumbled to himself, not expecting an answer because he didn't see the Beast God or Adel.
[No. If Aster fails, you both will die. His soul and my divine energy will rebound into your body and kill you as well. Now, you can only watch and hope that Aster will succeed too.] The Beast God, who was in his room with Adel, responded to Ellery through telepathy.
[For the next four days, you cannot leave this room and must stay by Aster's side. You do not need to worry about food, water, or hygiene while my divine energy is in your body. Anyway, goodbye and good luck.]
The Beast God quickly ended the conversation, leaving Ellery alone with his own thoughts.
Since the Beast God said he had to wait four more days, that meant he had been fighting and running from his past life's memories for three days…
To him, it didn't feel like three days, but at the same time, it felt like he was surrounded by those painful memories for years. It was a strange feeling.
Ellery didn't know what else to do, so he went over to Aster, hugging him, hoping that it would relieve some of his pain. He then put his head on Aster's chest to listen to his heart beating.
The heartbeat was slow and steady, but he knew it was because Aster's soul had not settled in the body just yet. If Aster did have control of the body, his heart would have been beating quickly to show that he was in pain or anxious.
The heart beat was to keep the body alive; as for whether Aster's soul could settle in, that was up to Aster.
"Aster… I promised I would hug you the moment you got your body. You have to make it through no matter what…"
He didn't know what Aster's memories were like, but he wanted to take all the painful memories and make them all fly away so they could never hurt him or Aster ever again.
"I'm waiting for you, Aster… We all are."
If only Aster could hear his voice.