I looked around at the trees going by as we drove.
I don't know what's going on, but Isabella and I were in one car with Dom's bodyguards, and Leo and Matteo were in another.
Leo didn't say anything, but he looked really worried when we were switching cars, so now I'm really worried.
We were in the grocery store and then planning to drop Isabella off at school afterward, but now there has been a change of plans that I was very in the dark about.
Also, I called Dominic a couple of times; it rang each time, then went to voicemail. God, I hope he is okay and just sleeping in.
Part of me wanted to hope and pray this was a surprise, but the other part of me knew it wasn't, and the look on Leo's face told me that I should genuinely be fucking worried.
"So no school?" Isabella asked, and I let out a small laugh.
"I guess not."
"Did you call my dad? What's happening?" Isabella asked.
And all I could do was really shrug at her because, "I'm not sure. He didn't pick up my calls, but I'm sure he is fine," I said, gulping.
The car came to a stop, and the bodyguard turned to Isabella and me with unreadable eyes. "You guys go in, and I will go park."
I nodded, and both Isabella and I got out of the car at…the hospital.
Okay, now I'm fucking worried.
We quickly made our way into the hospital waiting room, and I turned to Leo, who was sitting in one of the chairs, bawling his eyes out as Matteo slowly rubbed his back.
I walked over to them, "Someone tell me what the fuck is happening right now?!" I asked way louder than I would have liked to.
Leo looked up at me as tears continued to stream down his face.
"I… I… Dominic…he." Leo was stuttering and hiccuping in between every word, and I couldn't even understand what he was saying.
I looked over at Matteo, who just shrugged, "I don't know."
What do you even mean you don't know?
"The family of Mr. Caruso?" A voice called out, and we all turned to face the front desk lady, who had a clipboard in her hand.
We all walked over to her, "That's us," I said.
"And whose the spouse?"
I raised my hand, "Me?"
Why do I still not know what is happening? Where is Dominic?
She led us down a string of long hallways in the hospital and then stopped in front of a door, and I'm somehow getting really bad deja vu right now.
"I'm going to warn you all. He is bandaged up right now, and he did have to go through surgery because of how deep the wounds were, but we don't know when he's going to wake up," the nurse said, and I felt my heart drop.
She opened the door, and we all walked in. "I'll give you all some time."
I watched as Leo and Isabella quickly rushed to Dominic's side, and I just stood there staring, my mouth falling open.
He was sleeping, hooked up to a bunch of machines with his hospital gown pulled down, and bandages wrapped around almost every inch of his torso, as blood leaked through some of the bandages.
I felt myself completely frozen in place as silent tears made their way down my cheeks.
Oh my God, what happened to him?
I felt myself slowly walking over as Isabella and Leo cried at his bedside, whispering things he couldn't hear to him, but then my legs stopped moving. And I know that makes me a bad fiancé, but it was almost like I was stuck to the floor, paralyzed with this fear of Dominic dying.
And I stood there, looking stupid for 15 minutes, when I should have been by his side, crying like I was supposed to.
But…my tears were kind of dried up.
I rubbed my eyes. I had been crying silently for the latter half of 15 minutes, as Leo and Isabella hadn't left his side, sitting in chairs.
I felt a hand rub my back slowly, and I turned: it was Matteo.
"You need a hug?" he whispered to me, and I gave him a weak smile.
"I think you should be comforting those two."
"But I asked you. You have been standing here crying to yourself. Why not go next to him like Leo and Isabella?" Matteo asked me.
I felt myself shrug as tears slowly made their way down my face again. "I want them to have their moment," I said quietly.
He raised his eyebrow at me, "and what about your moment? You deserve to have one, too," Matteo said.
"I know, I know, I'll go after them," I said, and for some reason, my lip started to shake as I started to cry uncontrollably.
I quickly felt myself hugging Matteo as he slowly rubbed my back, "It's okay to be sad."
I cried on his shoulder as the thought of Dominic actually being dead played over and over in my head.
I don't…I don't even know what I would do. It just all happened so suddenly and…after the convention, I thought we could at least be happy for a while, but I just don't understand.
I pulled back from the hug, "Are you okay?" Matteo asked me.
I wiped my tears as more fell. "I will be okay," I said, and he nodded at me.
"Take as much time as you need."
After an hour or so of standing up and zoning out at the wall, I felt myself start to blink, and suddenly, both Isabella and Leo were gone.
I looked around, and Matteo was sitting on one of the chairs on his phone. "Where did they go?" I asked.
He looked up at me, "Leo is still making Isabella go to school, and he wanted to let you have your moment."
I gave him a weak smile, turned back to Dominic, and sat down in one of the chairs by his bed.
I felt chills run down my body as I looked at the bandages everywhere.
"Do you not know what happened?" I asked Matteo, not turning around to look at him.
"Not a clue, Leo won't tell me."
"Okay."
"It's probably for the best."
"You think? I just feel sad right now."
"I think Dominic probably didn't want you to worry," Matteo said.
"Well, I'm worrying now, stupid," I said, hitting Dominic on the arm lightly.
I gulped as my eyes raked down his beautiful face, and I felt myself start to cry again as I rested my head on the little bit of bed he wasn't taking up. I took his hand in mine.
This is what he must have felt when I was sitting here hooked up to all of those machines.
He was probably hoping I would wake up, trying not to cry.
It's almost a cruel full-circle moment in a way, but this time, I didn't want to push him away or give him a second chance; all I wanted to do was to have my Dominic back, my handsome fucking Dominic. That's what I wanted more than life right now. I wanted him to wake up and say it was all a prank as he held my hand, but as the minutes turned into hours, I knew it wasn't.
It was just a cruel play of fate that preyed on happy people. Right when you are happy and having plans for the future, it sneaks up behind you and brings you back to reality. The reality of your fiancé being a mafia boss, who always has his life on the line, means you guys can never really be happy, and God, that fucking sucks.
I moved my head slightly and switched hands, as the one I was holding was going numb after all that.
Maybe this is what I deserve. Someone like me deserves this terrible full-circle moment ending back in the hospital.
For all of the nights I spent…doing all of those awful things, this is what I deserve, I guess.
I felt my throat go raw as tears started to fall again.
Someone like me could never have a normal partner. It would never be someone my age with a normal job. From all of the nights I spent there, it's like my karma made sure I was gonna end up with a man so much older than me, with a butt load of money, who was just my luck, a mafia boss.
And I'm not mad, I'm really not, because I love Dominic and he's an awesome man and an awesome partner, but still.
He's fucking sitting here dying, and there's nothing I can even do, and that hurts. It hurts so much.
"You're so fucking stupid," I felt myself mumbling to him, "I'm beyond mad at you for letting yourself get fucked stabbed, you're a mafia boss, stupid," I said, and I hit him gently.
I really didn't mean what I was saying, but part of me was hoping he would just respond. He would wake up and hug me just like those movies and books always showed, but he didn't.
"I'm gonna find someone else if you don't wake up, you stupid bitch," I muttered. Still nothing.
I lifted my head up slowly, and I looked at him.
"Here's some food," Matteo said, giving me a weak smile.
"I'm okay."
"I didn't ask that, eat something. You can eat right next to him," Matteo said, pulling up another chair and then a table and putting the food on it.
"Where's Leo?"
"He's taking a nap, bout cried himself to sleep."
"You can go be with him, I'm okay," I said, smiling at him.
"He's sleeping, and I think right now you need someone," Matteo said, and I nodded slowly.
"Thank you," I said as I slowly started eating.
"Has he woken up yet?"
I shook my head. "Nothing, not even a movement. It's making me really angry," I said, laughing.
"I understand that. I'm sure he will wake up soon. Dominic's a big guy, I think he'll be okay."
"I hope so."
After a little bit of eating, Matteo got a call, which he put on speaker. "Where are you?" a very tired Leo mumbled through the phone.
"At the hospital with Ryder and Dominic, do you want me to come get you, or do you want a bodyguard to drive you?"
"I don't know." I raised my eyebrow. Why was Leo baby talking to this freak? AND in front of my half-alive fiancé is CRAZY.
"You don't know?" Matteo asked.
They are giving me chills right now, my God.
I felt my mouth fall open in disgust, hoodlums, I swear.
"No," Leo said in a baby voice.
"Do you want me to come back and be with you, princess?"
I heard moving on Leo's side of the line, "yes. Especially when you call me that. I know Ryder needs someone with him, but I want you to come be with me." I made eye contact with Matteo, who winked at me.
Okay, so have they fully rekindled their relationship, or are they just fucking playing in my face? "Okay, okay. I'm coming, princess."
"Come quickly," he said once again in that pouty baby voice, and the line went dead.
"Y'all are freaks."
Matteo smiled at me, "What can I say?" He stood up. "Okay, are you good? Do you want anything else?"
"No, no. Go be with Leo," I said, waving him off.
"Okay, text me if you need anything, and it's okay for you to leave and take a break," he said, and I nodded at him, even though just the thought of Dominic being alone made me sick.
And just like that, he left.
After that, when it was getting dark, the nurse came in to check on me.
God, the day was happening so fast, but so slow at the same time.
I wasn't going to leave his side, because that's what Dominic did to me. He sat with me through the night and the day, got himself sick for me, so I was going to do the same.
I felt myself yawn and stretch.
I stood up slowly. I push him lightly, making sure to be careful of his wounds, and I get into bed right next to him.
Just like he did with me, I didn't want him to be alone.