I am so freakin' tired.
Like, holy shit, I haven't been this tired since I stole Bellatrix's wand and tried to apparate out of my grandfather's dinner.
Spoiler alert, protective wards on top of anti-apparition wards we're a bitch to deal with as a seven year old.
Plus the apparation- Apparently there was an age requirement for it.
I didn't even bother hiding the yawn as I barely kept my eyes open, my destination, followed by a gaggle of seventh and sixth years behind me, all of 'em engrossed in conversations I was literally too tired to pay attention to.
All I knew for a fact was that I was hitting my bed as soon I made it into the tower- Hell, I might just fall asleep on the way there and let the loud buggers carry me.
The conversations seemed to die down for some reason, not that I minded much as the quiet was rather ple-
"You're not going to bed any time soon Black!" The loudest one remarked, patting me on the shoulder as he walked up in step with me. Turning my unamused gaze towards him, I found the flop of red hair distracting enough not to immediately sic a spell or a basilisk on him. "There's a party waiting for you in the tower!" The fucker, after blinking a few times, shrugged and grinned towards me.
I turned my gaze back ahead and promptly crossed my hands into an X shape.
"Nope. Straight to bed, fuck-"
"But you're the guest of honour!" The seventh... Sixth? One of those years remarked, affronted in response. "You have any idea how pissed those snakes are gonna be 'cos of what you did? Bloody well topped-"
"Don't care. Sleepy. Planning to sleep." I interrupted him, uncrossing my hands as I let out another yawn.
"...No." The fucker deadpanned towards me- I think, I wasn't actually looking at him anymore. "Nope, there's no Gryffindor spirit in that! Come on! You're a first year, even you've got to have some!" He lowered his head towards my level, a hand raised up to cover one side of his face. "There's going to be Fire Whiskey!"
I slapped his face and kept walking up the stairs, my mind fitfully ignoring the sudden chortles of laughter behind me.
"I've no interest in drinking you schmucks under the table."
Red-hair, completely undettered by the slap, freaking Gryffindor charisma, promptly grinned in response in my peripheral. "Ho? Is that right? I didn't realise the Blacks had an innate talent for drinking too!"
"That implies there's something we can'tdo- Which is fair, I am pretty sure charity's way out of our league."
The fucker started chuckling in response, completely undeterred. "Care to make a wager?"
"That implies chance. Which implies I might lose. And like I said, Blacks don't do charity." I deadpanned in response. "Which means there's no chance of me losing, which on it's own completely destroys the argument that we'd be participating in a wager, and would in fact be just me taking money from a figurative baby." I took in a deep breath. "We don't do charity, but we're definitely above stealing."
Complete silence met me in response, from Red-hair and his classmates.
"Fuck me, is it just me or does he get smarter sleep-deprived?" Another voice joined in, though this time it was a blonde, who took my other side.
"I am out of your league," Immediately remarked.
"No, no." Red-hair continued. "I think he just gets more arrogant."
"Makes sense." Blonde continued.
"Fuck both of you." I finished for them, my gaze taking in the fat lady's hidden entrace- Wow that sounded wrong.
And judging by the laughter, they heard me.
"Oh come on Black! Don't be a party pooper!" Red-hair took up where he left off. "It wouldn't be a party without you- Don't make us drag you out of bed!" He joked.
I promptly stopped on my feet, just before the entrance, while a black-haired Gryffindor witch continued on past us to give out the password.
Turning towards Red-hair, I gave him a sickly sweet smile.
"I have a functioning wand now." I pointed out, earning a raised eyebrow from red-hair and blank, albeit wary, looks from everyone else. "That means, if I wanted, I could focus, all my magic, accidental, wandless and otherwise, as well throw every piece of bullshit I've managed to acquire in my journey to utterly break every conceivable rule that dictates what magic should and shouldn't do, if only to prove how utterly wrong they were, directly at you." I took in another deep breath. "And if you decide, if you have the balls to wake me up without my permission, I'll throw enough magic at you that your bloody grandchildren will be feeling it." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Got that?"
He gave me a curt nod.
And promptly started grinning again.
"I can live with that."
Bloody Gryffindor stupidity.
Naturally, I sighed, and promptly took my wand out- The red-hair's smile straining the slightest.
Might as well get it over with right?
And just before I could follow on with my promise, I was promptly interrupted as a rather high pitched voice promptly called out from the entrance.
"Sirius!" I blinked, pocketing the wand as I turned towards-
I blinked again, my mind and body completely ignoring the way James Potter took a few, sluggish, steps towards me, grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into the tower.
"You craaazyyy fuckin' bugger!" James Potter slurred, laughing, almost hysterically, as he led me through, my gaze immediately falling on the hounds of partying Gryffindors, before eventually settling on the much, much, larger window that pointed outside to the courtyard.
And, as surprising as having most of the tower be spectators to my 'battle' with a Dark Lord- My mind couldn't help but scoff at the fact James Potter was drunk.
Because of course James Potter was already wasted.
What even was my life anymore?
Needless to say, I shrugged off his hand, not so much as earning a reaction out of the first year as he simply joined back into the festive mood, while I settled my gaze on the only face abhorring the illegal drinking and walked over towards her.
Never thought I'd see the day where Lily fucking Evans's utter disdain for stupidity was a welcomed sight.
Settling onto the seat beside her on the sofa, the action to my surprise not immediately causing her to throw something at me- Whether it was a spell, cushion or a board game didn't matter- All three after all where well within her reach.
I let my head fall back onto the utterly too comfortable head rest, my body letting out a groan as I felt the entire day's event catch up with me.
Lily Evans, at some point, had started staring at me for some reason.
"I am sorry." The girl's words, any other time would've resulted in a scathing, albeit funny, remark from yours truly-
But honestly, I was just too tired to give a shit right now, so I said nothing.
"I think I might've misjudged you." The girl remarked, frowning as she continued on.
I shrugged that time.
"I doubt that."
She shook her head, evidently disagreeing with me. There was a lot of that going on today, wasn't there?
"You protected the castle... You're not as much of a git as I thought you were." A single beat passed. "Crazy? Yes. Definitely." She deadpanned, before a sheepish smile took over her face. "But not really a git."
"Nah." I remarked, surprising her. "You got it dead on the first time." I snorted. "Protecting the castle though? Eh, I guess that's one way to see it." I admitted, closing my eyes.
I had a feeling she raised her eyebrows, mostly from the tone of bemusement in her voice.
"What other way is there?"
"I was bored." I answered honestly, opening one eye to stare at her reaction.
Needless to say, she started blinking at me.
"Bored." She repeated, frowning once again. "You were bored." She repeated the word. "And you decided to fill that boredom by... fighting dragons?"
I nodded, rather earnestly at that. "Why? You got any better ideas?"
She let out a huff and crossed her arms as she settled her gaze back ahead at the rest of our fellow idiots.
"You're an idiot."
"I thought I was crazy?"
"Well, you're both!"
I shrugged again.
"You're not wrong." A beat passed. "Pretty sure it's something in the food- Would definitely explain the wacky fuckin' headmaster."
Needless to say, judging by the sudden snort and giggle, she hadn't expected that.
"I take it back, you are a git!"
"Atta' girl, you do have some brain cells after all!"
She hit me with a cushion for that one.
...
...
"You got balls of steel man." The blonde deadpanned to his friend.
"Dude, I was seconds away from pissing myself!" A beat passed. "Thank fuck first years don't have self-awareness!" His friend deadpanned.
"Pretty sure seventh years don't either." He remarked, pointedly staring at the other.
The dumbass shrugged.
"Wouldn't be much of a Gryffindor if we did!"
Well... He wasn't wrong.