Make me an isekai protagonist? That's a little on the nose, no? I guess you can expect a little of that from a self-proclaimed god(ling) of entertainment.
If he's not joking though, which is a big if…now we're talking!
"If you're serious, that sounds awesome! Is that possible, though?" (Mizuki)
"Well…godlings aren't allowed to leave their home planets, nor can they interfere with other planets' ongoings. Naturally, a godling sending someone to another planet is an interference." (Dio)
"Then…?" (Mizuki)
"However, gods can travel between one another's planets and interfere if it's consensual. I've never heard of transplanting dead people between those planets, but I can't think of any explicit rule against it. I have an acquaintance who's the god of another planet that's a little…peculiar. From last we talked, my impression is that he might endorse something like this. If the god of Earth, who lets us godlings do as we please, is on board…I think it could be done." (Dio)
Oh, I'm not feeling good about this exchange – that was uncharacteristically straightforward and informative of Dio. He doesn't really strike me as the kind of guy who'd go through this much trouble just for my sake.
Unfortunately, his reasons won't affect my decision – this is better than the other options I've been presented so far.
"I'm sold, so how do we go about this?" (Mizuki)
"First, I'll send a thought communication to the god of the planet I had in mind to see if he's willing to experim…I mean, facilitate your transplantation." (Dio)
Yup, that bad feeling is getting worse.
"How long will it take to hear back from him?" (Mizuki)
"Oh, it's hard to guess exactly. I'd say longer than it took you to ruin your chances with bus stop girl, but less time than it'll take you to lose your virginity at this rate." (Dio)
Ahhh, there's the Dio I barely know and already hate. Now that he's back to himself, I strangely feel a bit more at ease.
"Don't be so sure, I haven't even tried wooing you yet, Dio." (Mizuki)
Dio's head snaps towards me with a bewildered expression. That's right jackass, wipe that smug look off your face.
I should probably press on, though, before he takes me too seriously.
"Now then, what's this reincarnation situation going to be like? Will I be reincarnated as a child of nobility?" (Mizuki)
"Are you that desperate to be as much of a baby on the outside as you are on the inside? Or maybe you've just got a fetish for spending the next five years soiling yourself while everyone talks to you like an imbecile?" (Dio)
Well, when he puts it like that it doesn't sound as appealing. Acknowledging my silence with a smirk, Dio continues.
"However…" (Dio)
Oh?
"It'd probably be possible to alter the age of your current body and just go with that. From what I recall, there are humans on that planet as well, so you shouldn't stick out too much physically." (Dio)
"Oh yeah? That sounds appealing. If I'm going to be starting over from scratch, and I won't be in a noble family…" (Mizuki)
Dio interrupts me.
"Definitely not." (Dio)
I'll ignore that.
"…in that case, I'd like to have as much of my younger years back as possible to help with rebuilding my life there. What's the youngest age that's considered an independent adult for humans on that planet?" (Mizuki)
"Eighteen." (Dio)
"…" (Mizuki)
"What?" (Dio)
"Nothing I just assumed it'd be fifteen. That's usually how it is in isekai stories." (Mizuki)
"You disappointed? Can't manage to get a girlfriend your own age so you hoped you'd be able to cradle rob yourself a harem, eh?" (Dio)
"Jesus, Dio, no. I was just…nevermind. Moving on…" (Mizuki)
"Whatever you say, dude. Also, don't lump me in with that guy." (Dio)
Really? I'm almost interested enough to ask at this point. Since he brough up harems though…
"Is polygamy normal on this planet?" (Mizuki)
"Oh, it's extremely common. Only rarely do you see a woman with one husband." (Dio)
Heh heh, niceee. Wait…what was that second part?
Noticing my excitement vanish, Dio begins laughing hysterically.
Seriously man? Are those tears coming out of your eyes!?
"Oh dude, you should have seen your face. That delivery was perfect. I totally crushed your dreams, didn't I?" (Dio)
Hmmm…if humans on Earth end up wiping one another out with nukes, Dio will die too, right? A guy can hope.
"Don't look so glum, Mizuki. In all seriousness, polygamy isn't stigmatized there like on Earth, but it's not ubiquitous either. Still, I wouldn't get too ahead of myself if I were you. I'm lacking confidence that you could please one woman, let alone multiple." (Dio)
Oh, how I long for the Earth to be covered in a sweet, sweet layer of mushroom clouds. It's too bad I won't get to experience that magical moment. I'll just take solace in the possibility.
Dio narrows his eyes at me.
"What are you thinking about?" (Dio)
"Hmm? Oh, just enjoying a magical fantasy." (Mizuki)
"You're in luck then. The planet you're going to, called Azura, is brimming with magic. There's all manner of magical beings, like you'll find in Earth mythology, and many of them are intelligent." (Dio)
That statement is enough to snap me out of my dark fantasy. Azura, huh, and it has actual magic?
"The bad news is that it's much less technologically advanced than Earth. The main weapons they have are swords, their medical knowledge is abysmal, and the lack of art and entertainment would be enough to personally drive me to suicide. Fortunately, magic is used to bridge the gap in the first two cases." (Dio)
Dio, please don't tease me with talk of suicide, I suffer enough from your jokes.
This other world, though, it sounds like an actual realm of swords and sorcery. I can't believe my luck; he might respect a staple of isekai stories here! That planet having magic does raise an interesting question…
"Dio, does Earth have magic?" (Mizuki)
"Nope." (Dio)
"Huh, so are planets with magic rare then?" (Mizuki)
"Not at all, actually. Earth not having magic is a stroke of bad luck on par with that of women that meet you." (Dio)
Before I can even be mad about him insulting me, he suddenly perks up.
"Oh ho, you're in luck dude! Looks like the god of Azura was enough of a suck…I mean, kind enough to accept you as a transplant. It seems that transferring people between worlds isn't new to him either. According to him, you're likely to have quite the interesting time on his planet. You'll be meeting him before you descend to the planet, so he can give you more details. Any final questions before you're his problem?" (Dio)
Hospitable as always, I see.
"Yeah, actually, why…" (Mizuki)
"Great, bye then!" (Dio)
He really committed to being a jackass, right until the end, huh? I almost admire his conviction.
After his flippant goodbye, my vision is enveloped by a white light again.
"Wait, Dio, you never told me what's in this for you!" (Mizuki)
As he fades from my vision, I wonder if he heard my final question. He was being uncharacteristically helpful since suggesting this whole isekai situation, and his unknown motivations are giving me an increasingly uneasy feeling.
Right before he escapes my view entirely, I swear I see him smirk and wink at me.