As I regain consciousness, I feel the odd sensation of sitting upright. That's weird. Last I remember, I went to sleep next to Nina.
Focusing my vision, I notice that I'm sitting in a chair. What the hell? I survey the surrounding area, and a realization makes me go stiff.
No, no! Oh god, please, kill me. This can't be happening.
I'm sitting in the front row of what looks like a school auditorium, and my least favorite god in the whole cosmos is sitting center stage – Dio. He's sporting a smirk like he knows exactly how much I don't want to be here.
"Well, hello again, Mizuki! Miss me?" (Dio)
"Dio…I see that Earth's nuclear holocaust hasn't happened yet." (Mizuki)
"What?" (Dio)
"Oh, nothing. I meant that you look well." (Mizuki)
Dio narrows his eyes at me suspiciously, but quickly shrugs, as if deciding it isn't worth his time. What an ass, even my insults don't matter to him.
"Dio, why the hell did you bring me here? Also, I thought that godlings can't interfere with other planets? I wonder how Azazel will feel when I tell him you abducted me from Azura." (Mizuki)
Dio makes a 'hmm' sound while putting his finger on his face, like 'who me?'.
"Oh? What do you mean, Mizuki? I didn't abduct you. You're just sleeping safely on Azura is all. What was it that you said before, about how dreams aren't real? So, you're just dreaming about me, and I'm not really interfering." (Dio)
He casts me a knowing glance, like a little sibling that just got away with framing you in front of your parents. That smug bastard is trying to loophole me!?
"If that were true, then why am I in this same stage setting as before?" (Mizuki)
I cast my accusations at him with a glare. I thought I was done with him when I moved to Azura.
Dio smirks at my question.
"Oh, that? You see, you're just so lacking in imagination that I didn't want to overwhelm you with a new environment, so I figured that I'd make your dream like that other place where we shared so many fond memories." (Dio)
His sadism truly knows no bounds. For the sake of moving this along, I'm going to ignore that.
"What do you want, Dio?" (Mizuki)
Dio makes an annoyed face, like his toy broke and he can't play with it anymore.
"What's the big idea with you making a contract with that pesky dragon? Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed a bit, too. I mean, the same day after you nearly killed her and she's already kissing you? Still, I'd urge you not to bed the dragon yet. After all, it's bad to disappoint women so early on." (Dio)
Dio's face seemed determined to get to the bottom of something when he first started talking, but then he looked off thoughtfully as he spiraled into insulting me, as if getting distracted by a philosophical question and debating it with himself.
Also, how the hell does he know about all of that!?
"Dio, have you been spying on me!? How!?" (Mizuki)
My shrill questions snap him back to attention, and he seems to remember that he was upset at me about something.
"Oh, yeah, exactly! You've got some real nerve making a contract with that dragon. Mixing your essences like that disrupted the connection I embedded in you to watch your journey. Do you have no gratitude at all, Mizuki!? Why do you think I arranged this for you, huh? You're supposed to be my own original isekai story to enjoy!" (Dio)
His voice gets progressively shriller as he interrogates me. On one hand, I'm quite happy to see him so upset. On the other hand, I'm furious about this absurd violation of my privacy. Thankfully, it sounds like Nina making that contract with me foiled his voyeurism. I'm definitely going to pay her back for that.
"Sorry to disappoint you, I guess you'll just have to go back to looting manga off corpses." (Mizuki)
I try and pour as much sarcasm into my response as possible.
Hearing my response, Dio clicks his tongue and starts shaking his head at me.
"Tch…oh no, Mizuki, this is all your fault, so you're going to be the solution. From now on, you're going to tell me about everything that happens on your adventures. Now, start from after you finally felt the lips of a woman for the first time in your life!" (Dio)
I'm sure that my expression reflects my sincerely dumbfounded state of mind. There's no way he actually expects me to comply with that, right? I look at him, and he's leaning forward expectantly, like 'hurry up with it'. Oh, no, he's totally serious.
"First of all, I'll have you know that I've had girlfriends before. Just because I'm still a virgin doesn't mean I have zero experience with women. I didn't go through most of college without my fair share of intimacy, I just never crossed that line." (Mizuki)
"I'm not interested in hearing you wax poetic about your tissues, lotion, and anime posters. Tell me what happened on Azura!" (Dio)
Ignoring his interjection, I continue.
"Second, I refuse. I'm never going to sit here and bare my soul to you every night about my personal life for your entertainment." (Mizuki)
Dio looks taken aback, like a child who was just told he can't eat dessert anymore.
"That's not fair, Mizuki! It was the tradeoff for your new life!" (Dio)
"Not one I consented to. Plus, my obligation to you ended when I became a resident of Azura. I don't have to yield to your demands, and there's nothing you can do about it." (Mizuki)
Hearing this, Dio's expression turns uncharacteristically dangerous.