Although Hikigaya had indeed been troubled over meal expenses these past few days, as the saying goes, even a starving samurai must still carry a toothpick with pride.
There was no way he'd let that scheming Kikyo have the last laugh!
He immediately put on a stubborn front and scoffed, "Hmph, I don't need your meddling. Even without money, I won't starve. Worst case, there's always the school's free meal options."
"Oh? You mean that awful wild vegetable set meal?" Kushida's eyes curved into delighted slits. "But your account won't be unfrozen until next week at the earliest, right? Are you planning to eat that stuff for every meal until then? Be careful—you might upset your stomach."
"Don't spout nonsense. Watch out, or the cafeteria ladies might sue you for defamation."
Besides, he couldn't let anyone underestimate the wild vegetable set meal. The miso soup in it even had pork now.
That was already a deluxe meal!
"You're the one who needs to stop acting tough."
Kushida let out a theatrical sigh while tightening her grip on Hikigaya's arm.
"Sigh, I have no choice with you, Hachiman. Looks like I'll have to take care of you again."
"…Why did you say 'again'?" Hikigaya asked, puzzled.
Besides, when did he ever need to be taken care of?
"Ah…?"
Hearing that, the smile on Kushida's face instantly vanished as she lowered her voice. "Have you forgotten who tirelessly took care of you when you were injured?"
"Uh… of course, it was Kikyo-sama." Hikigaya immediately caved.
To be honest, he was grateful to have a beautiful girl cook for him, but… did she have to come every day? It was kind of embarrassing.
And that spare key—when was she planning to return it?
Not that he dared to ask. He had a feeling that if he brought it up, Kushida would get super angry.
…Just like now.
At that moment, Matsushita suddenly spoke up. "Hey, hey, Kushida-san, don't you think you're being a bit oblivious here?"
"What do you mean I'm oblivious?"
"Hachiman-kun is clearly saying your cooking is terrible. Have a little self-awareness, will you?"
…Um, Matsushita-san?
There's no need to fan the flames like that, okay?
Just as Hikigaya was feeling a headache coming on, Kushida let out a cold laugh. "Hmph, you're one to talk. I heard all about you during the forest training camp—you never actually cooked breakfast even once, just stood there pretending to prepare ingredients, thinking no one noticed."
"Eh? T-That's… that was because our group had a clear division of labor!"
Busted on the spot, Matsushita blushed slightly but refused to admit defeat.
"Besides, I'm pretty good at simple dishes!"
"Oh? Then name one."
"L-Like instant ramen! Uh… and fried rice!"
"Hah."
Kushida let out a derisive snort and turned her head away as if she couldn't be bothered to argue.
"Ugh—!" Matsushita let out a frustrated groan.
This was probably the first time she had lost to Kushida… Was it because she lacked feminine charm?
"A-Anyway! Hachiman-kun said he's coming to my room to try my cooking, so Kushida-san, stay out of it!"
"Hah?! Like hell he did!" Kushida shot back instantly.
Yeah, exactly! When did I ever say that?!
Hikigaya was stunned that Matsushita would outright lie in front of him like that.
This girl is way too bold.
"Hachiman-kun, don't forget—you still owe me a favor. It's time for you to fulfill it."
"…Oh, right."
If Matsushita hadn't brought it up, he would've completely forgotten.
That was from Christmas, wasn't it? She never mentioned it until now, so he assumed she'd forgotten too.
But now she was suddenly cashing it in… Was this some kind of poison test?
"Then I'm coming too!"
Sensing the situation turning against her, Kushida immediately switched tactics, loudly declaring her intention to join.
She was also planning to supervise, making sure nothing suspicious happened.
"You're not invited. Stay out of it." Matsushita waved her hand dismissively as if shooing away an insect.
"If I can't go, then I won't let Hachiman go either!" Kushida pouted.
"Hey, what gives you the right to decide for him?"
"I just won't allow it."
With that, Kushida pulled Hikigaya behind her, locking eyes with Matsushita in a fierce standoff.
"Can you both hold on a second?"
Unable to bear the situation any longer, Hikigaya spoke up. "Shouldn't you ask me before making these decisions—"
"Enough already. Can you two stop arguing over something so childish?"
Before he could finish, Horikita cut him off.
Yeah! Exactly! What's there to argue about?!
Just as Hikigaya was expecting her to scold the two, Horikita continued, "Rather than cooking for Hikigaya-kun, wouldn't it be better if I taught him how to cook instead? The convenience store has free ingredients, and with a little effort, he could make delicious meals himself. That way, even if his account gets suspended, he won't have to worry about food."
…Huh?
Wait, what nonsense are you talking about now?!
For the record, I can cook.
Especially when it comes to making "Big Bro Bento" for Komachi—I can perform at 100% efficiency, and my cooking might even be better than yours!
Hikigaya held back his urge to retort, while Horikita remained completely self-assured.
She even looked smug as she continued, "Well? My suggestion isn't bad, right? It'll even help him save money in the future."
"Not bad at all!" Kushida immediately snapped back. "If anyone's going to teach him, it should be me! I cook all the time!"
"Heh, Kushida-san, you shouldn't underestimate someone who has been cooking for herself since elementary school."
"…Why do you sound so proud of that?"
Well, to be fair, this was probably the only area where Horikita could claim superiority over her brother.
But still… hmm. Oh well.
As long as she's happy.
"Ahem! Anyway, I am without a doubt the most qualified person to teach him."
Noticing Hikigaya's dubious expression, Horikita awkwardly cleared her throat before forcefully moving the conversation forward.
"Alright, Hikigaya-kun, tell me what you want to eat. I guarantee you'll learn how to make it."
"Oh…"
Hikigaya glanced at Kushida and Matsushita, both staring at him with less-than-friendly expressions.
He gulped.
Then, cautiously, he said, "Well… I want to eat ramen."
"Uh…"
Horikita's expression froze.
After a brief silence, she suddenly stepped forward and delivered a swift karate chop to Hikigaya's waist.
"You are just trying to make my life difficult, aren't you?"
"…No."
Even though Hikigaya knew this was his fault, he still wished Horikita would hit a little lighter next time.
He wasn't Ayanokoji—he wasn't built for taking hits!
But at least now, the argument should finally be over, right?
"Ramen, huh? Well, that's a problem."
As expected, Matsushita was the first to give up.
Ah, good, this saves—
"In that case, we'll just have to go to a ramen shop!" Matsushita smiled. "Hachiman-kun, you must know a good place, right? I'll leave the choice to you."
"…Huh?"
"Don't worry."
Matsushita even winked at him playfully.
"You don't have to worry about the bill. It's my treat."
"Uh, that's not—"
"Ramen, huh…? I think the last time I had it was back in middle school."
Before Hikigaya could refuse, Kushida cut in, reminiscing aloud.
She was already acting like it was settled.
Even Horikita, who seemed to have nothing to do with ramen shops, remained composed as she said, "I've never been to one before, but trying it out once in a while doesn't sound too bad."
Huh? Seriously… Is everyone going?
Hikigaya immediately felt a strong sense of resistance and quickly suggested, "How about the three of you go? I'll just sit this one out."
"Alright, alright, let's get going." Without giving him a chance to argue, Matsushita pushed him toward the door. "Come on, Hachiman-kun, why do you always joke like this? It's not funny at all, you know?"
"…But I wasn't joking."
Yet, somehow, it had already been decided that they would all go eat ramen together.
Why… How did it end up like this?
More importantly, going to a ramen shop with three girls—no matter how you looked at it, that was way too weird!
Just as Hikigaya expected, the moment the four of them stepped into the shop, they immediately drew attention. Almost every customer turned their heads to look at them.
Ahaha, well, nothing he could do about it.
Humans just love to make a big deal out of things.
Finding a seat, Hikigaya kept reassuring himself in his head.
That's right, this isn't my fault!
It's just having ramen with a few girls. No big deal. It's not like it hasn't happened before.
…Though, the number of girls this time was slightly higher than usual. But hey, the more, the merrier, right?
So seriously, would you guys stop staring at me?!
Especially the male customers—those looks they were giving him felt like they were about to burn a hole straight through his stomach.
…Actually, they probably already had.
With all those eyes on him, Hikigaya couldn't even taste his food. The moment the ramen was served, he started shoveling it into his mouth, wishing he could just pour it all in at once.
But of course, Kushida and the others just had to take their sweet time, chewing each bite carefully like they were savoring some high-class delicacy.
Come on, quit the act already… Back on the deserted island, didn't they all stuff food into their mouths like there was no tomorrow?
Of course, even Hikigaya knew better than to point that out now.
If he did, at best, he'd get scolded. At worst, he'd get beaten up.
"Thanks for the meal. You guys take your time, I'm heading back."
As soon as the other three finally finished their noodles, Hikigaya wasted no time in making his escape.
Matsushita had suddenly suggested they go shopping afterward, but of course, he had no interest in that.
He was broke, he didn't want to carry bags, and he definitely wasn't about to go on a shopping trip with three beautiful girls.
Getting publicly executed at the ramen shop was more than enough!
After Hikigaya left, Matsushita suddenly turned to Horikita with a smile.
"To be honest, I'm a little surprised. I can understand Kushida coming along, but I didn't expect you to accept my invitation too, Horikita-san."
"I just had a feeling you had something you wanted to say. That's why you used this as an excuse to send Hikigaya-kun away, didn't you?"
"Hehe, as expected of our class leader—sharp as always."
Matsushita smiled faintly, then her expression turned serious.
"Then I won't waste any more words. You two—how much of what Hachiman said on the rooftop do you think was true?"
"…Half and half, I'd say." Horikita let out a light sigh. "Hikigaya-kun is very good at lying—especially lying by telling the truth. Even my brother admires that about him."
"Yeah. He mentioned Class C's contract and even deliberately brought up Sakagami-sensei's name. Just from that, it's obvious he wasn't afraid of us verifying it with the teacher."
Hikigaya's words hadn't shown any major flaws, but Matsushita, knowing him well, couldn't shake the sense of discord.
At that moment, Kushida impatiently interjected. "I thought you were going to say something important. Even if it's Hachiman, this is normal, isn't it? It's not the first time he's hidden things from me."
Matsushita shot her a glance, displeased with the way she emphasized 'me.'
Shouldn't it be 'us'?
"So, you're saying it wouldn't matter if Hachiman ended up expelled?"
"Idiot, I never said that." Kushida snapped. "Whether he's lying or not, I'll just figure out a way to get him some appreciation votes when the time comes."
"…Ichinose-san?"
"Hmph, so you do understand after all."
"But didn't Hachiman specifically tell us not to mention his name to Ichinose?"
"I'm just asking her to vote, not telling her that Hachiman was behind it."
Kushida had already thought this through.
By lending Ichinose two million points, she could secure appreciation votes from Class A students.
That was why, even if she had sensed something was off on the rooftop, she hadn't bothered questioning it.
As long as Hachiman wasn't expelled, everything would be fine, right?
"Ahh, Horikita, looks like we don't need you for this." Kushida turned to her longtime rival with a mocking tone. "But, well, it's not like you could've helped anyway—you don't have the money. Just sit back and watch, will you? Honestly, we would've passed this exam just fine even without you."
"…That's fine. As long as the class lands safely, that's all that matters to me."
Even as she said that Horikita couldn't hide her frustration.
What do you mean, I can't help at all?!
She had over a million points at one point! But she had given them to Hikigaya… Damn it! Kushida's words were infuriating!
The more Horikita thought about it, the angrier she got.
In the end, she decided—she needed to take action too.
She refused to lose to this irritating woman!
"Masumi-san, let's head back."
Around the same time, Sakayanagi and Kamuro had finished dinner at Keyaki Mall and were walking back to the dorms.
"You know," Kamuro sighed, "I let it slide during dinner, but can you at least put your phone away while walking? What if you trip?"
"In that case, I'll be counting on you to throw yourself to the ground as my cushion."
"Hey."
"Hehe, just kidding."
Sakayanagi suddenly stopped, swiftly typing a few lines on her phone before slipping it back into her pocket.
"Apologies. Yamauchi-kun has been spamming me with messages all day. Even I'm getting annoyed. But I can't just ignore him—I need to keep him calm."
"…That's what you get for picking such an unreliable pawn," Kamuro said exasperatedly.
"Even I heard about Class D's situation. That guy got exposed in just two days and is now the class's public enemy number one."
"Hahaha, true. That's exactly why he's desperately asking me to confirm the appreciation votes."
Sakayanagi chuckled as she resumed walking.
"But your intel is a bit outdated. Do you know the latest development?"
"…What is it?"
A bad feeling crept over Kamuro.
"It's about Hikigaya-kun." Sakayanagi spoke as if relaying an amusing anecdote. "After school today, it seems he voluntarily asked everyone in his class to vote him out to settle the internal turmoil."
"I see…"
"Masumi-san, what do you think his true intentions are?"
"How the hell should I know? Don't ask me such annoying questions."
"Hehe, don't give up so quickly."
Sakayanagi's gaze was warm, seeing right through Kamuro's irritation.
"Alright, I'll give you two options. The first: Hikigaya-kun only said that to toy with Yamauchi-kun, making him believe he's safe while secretly exchanging contracts for appreciation votes from Ryuuen-kun's class. Right now, he's probably laughing to himself, eagerly anticipating Yamauchi-kun's reaction when the results come out."
"That sounds more like you!" Kamuro snapped.
"Sigh, such a misunderstanding." Sakayanagi let out an exaggerated sigh. "Then let's move on to the second option: Hikigaya-kun is genuinely committed to self-sacrifice and is probably very angry with me right now."
"…Why do you insist on antagonizing him?"
Kamuro didn't answer aloud. She already knew the answer.
"Please don't answer a question with another question." Sakayanagi smiled. "But since it's you, Masumi-san, I'll tell you—I never intended to do anything against Hikigaya-kun."
"You sure say that with a straight face…"
"Even now, I just wanted to play a little prank on him." Sakayanagi's smile was indifferent as if everything was a game.
"But you were the one who made the first move, weren't you?"
"Are you referring to Ichinose-san?"
Though Kamuro's words had been vague, Sakayanagi had easily grasped her meaning.
"Even if that's true, it has nothing to do with Hikigaya-kun, does it? Ichinose-san and he aren't lovers… Heh, speaking of lovers, perhaps I'll be congratulating Ichinose-san soon."
"Huh? What are you talking about now?"
"You'll find out in due time."
Sakayanagi shook her head, unwilling to spoil the surprise.
Kamuro didn't press further. Instead, she studied Sakayanagi for a moment before murmuring, "You know, with how petty you're acting… could it be that you're jealous?"
"Jealous…?"
Sakayanagi blinked in genuine surprise.
"Jealous of who, exactly?"
"Never mind. Forget it."
"…Masumi-san, I dislike it when people leave things half-said." Sakayanagi's voice carried a warning. "And if you were referring to Ichinose-san, that's utterly ridiculous. There's nothing about her worth admiring, let alone envying."
"Is that so? What about her figure?"
"How shallow. That doesn't determine a woman's value."
"Alright, alright, I'm the shallow one." Kamuro dismissed the argument with an indifferent shrug.
Sakayanagi raised an eyebrow at her attitude and couldn't help but continue, "If we're talking about figures, having more fat isn't always better. Besides, there are plenty of first-years with better figures than Ichinose-san. It's hardly something to be jealous of." [T/N: I can think of one or two but not plenty.]
"Sigh, that's not what I meant… Whatever, think what you want."
As they arrived at the dorms, Kamuro decided to drop the topic.
However, a small crowd had gathered near the mailboxes, engaged in a heated discussion.
"That bad habit of yours needs fixing. But for now, there's something more interesting."
Sakayanagi pointed at the commotion and unceremoniously ordered, "Masumi-san, go gather information for me."
"Yeah, yeah…"
Kamuro replied halfheartedly, but after taking a few steps, she realized Sakayanagi was following her.
"Hey, didn't you tell me to gather intel?"
"I did. But I never said I wouldn't go too." Sakayanagi's eyes sparkled with amusement.
"You are… Ugh." Kamuro sighed in resignation. "Even if I tell you to hold back, you won't listen, will you?"
"Hehe, you understand me well."
"You're unbelievable… Fine, let's go."
As they approached, every pair of eyes suddenly turned toward them.
"…What's going on?"
Kamuro furrowed her brows and was about to find someone to ask when her classmate, Yamamura, suddenly walked over, holding a piece of paper in her hand.
"Sakayanagi-san, Kamuro-san, I'd like you to take a look at this first."
Without offering much explanation, she simply handed over the paper.
"This was found in the first-year students' mailboxes. I suspect everyone received one—you can check your own if you'd like."
"…Mailbox?"
A familiar sense of unease flickered across Kamuro's face.
Meanwhile, Sakayanagi had already unfolded the paper. On it, a single line was written:
[Sakayanagi Narimori, the chairman, is under investigation for misconduct.]
T/N: Lol! Hikigaya did her dirty in her way!