Sometimes you can't be who you want to be and sometimes you can't do what you want to do.

That is the daily life of our anti-heroine. She is over powered with innate and learned magics and abilities but she does not have them to use them. she has them because she was born with them and she learns quickly. 

for her it is about acquisition not utilization. She wants to have power to understand power but she doesn't want to serve and protect. 

but it is out of her hands because she is Rachel, the Milana of Trannisa realm. her purpose is to maintain a balance dictated by the realm.

she is there when she has to be and when she is not needed she is off learning new things. 

so what happens when she is suddenly needed all the time? will her habit of avoidance become a mask of doubt and insecurity. 

so will she be a flawed being and pass the torch or will she endure in self doubt and constant insecurity. 

or is there a third option that has been there all along and completely out of her control?

Rachel had been inside a life tree before. After she had her son she entered one for several days. For some reason she felt that this would take much more time. She felt this and at the same time she felt nothing at all. Why was she so tired? Alice -Trannisa did all the work, her and her beloved trees, but here she was truly exhausted. 


As she walked through the grove the trees seemed to lean to her like they wanted to be near her our touch her. The branches and twigs gliding softly across her skin. She knew it was time to deliver her babies but she had been feeling odd about things. She was not sure if it was due to her not helping with the Alyanna situation or just something odd in her.


She seemed to sleep, more importantly, she seemed to dream. She understood both the process and the need for it. So she took a deep breath and relaxed.  She decided that she would take whatever it was that the tree wanted to give her this time.


Chapter 237 - The life tree