Lost in the Haze
My world felt like a poorly tuned radio, static crackling through every station I tried to tune into. Rose was glowing, head over heels for Y/N. Lisa, bless her impulsive heart, had fallen for our manager. And me? I was the anchor, the eldest, the one everyone leaned on. But anchors get rusty, and rust eats away at you from the inside.
So, I did what any self-respecting, emotionally neglected K-pop idol would do: I went to a dive bar. The neon sign outside flickered like my resolve. Soju shots blurred the sharp edges of my loneliness, turning them into a dull ache.
Then, like a scene ripped from a badly written drama, they appeared. Jyu and Hyun, my high school buddies. We'd drifted apart after debut, different paths diverging into separate galaxies. But seeing them, hearing their familiar laughter, was like finding a lifeline in a stormy sea.
One drink turned into five, memories tumbling out like forgotten toys from a dusty attic. We were loud, we were silly, and for the first time in weeks, I actually laughed. The world felt lighter, the weight on my chest momentarily lifted.
The bar closed, and Jyu, ever the gentleman (or maybe just fueled by soju), offered his apartment. Hyun readily agreed, and before I knew it, we were sprawled out on his living room floor, the remnants of a pizza scattered around us.
Someone suggested Truth or Dare. My inhibitions, already loosened by alcohol, evaporated completely. Giggles turned into gasps, dares escalated with reckless abandon. Clothes started to come off.
The air crackled with a tension I'd only ever fantasized about. Jyu's eyes burned into mine, a question unspoken. Hyun's hand brushed against my arm, sending shivers down my spine.
It was hazy, dreamlike. The touch of their skin against mine was electric, igniting a fire that had been smoldering within me for years. My head was spinning, my body buzzing with a longing I'd suppressed for so long.
I wanted more.
Without a word, I straddled Jyu's lap, grinding against him. A low moan escaped his lips, a sound that sent a jolt of pure lust through me. My own breath hitched as I felt him harden beneath me.
I wanted this. I needed this.
I slid off his lap and knelt before them, my gaze locking with theirs. Desire mirrored back at me, raw and untamed. Slowly, deliberately, I took them both in my mouth, exploring the length of them with my tongue, pushing myself deeper, harder, until they were both groaning my name.
This was it. This was the release, the catharsis I'd been craving. I was lost in the sensation, the taste, the power.
When I finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, I smirked. The look in their eyes was intoxicating.
They didn't hesitate. Jyu reached out, his hand tracing the curve of my hip, his fingers dipping lower, teasing my entrance. Hyun joined in, his touch bolder, sliding inside, stretching me open.
Then, Jyu joined him, and the world exploded.
The sensation was overwhelming, a symphony of pleasure and pain. I screamed their names, arching into their touch, every nerve ending firing. It was too much, and yet not enough.
Finally, the release came, a wave of pure ecstasy that washed over me, leaving me trembling and gasping for air. Jyu and Hyun followed suit, their bodies convulsing with the force of their climax.
We lay there, tangled together, breathless and sated. The weight on my chest was gone, replaced by a blissful emptiness. I drifted off to sleep, the scent of sweat and sex clinging to my skin.
The morning was a brutal awakening. My head pounded, my body ached, and a wave of shame washed over me as I took in the scene: three naked bodies, tangled sheets, a room reeking of cheap alcohol and regret.
I glanced at the clock. Panic clawed at my throat. I had less than an hour to get to the studio.
I stumbled to my feet, wincing at the soreness between my legs. I grabbed my dress, mumbled hasty goodbyes, and fled.
The shower barely scrubbed away the evidence of the night before. I chugged coffee, hoping to jolt myself awake. I managed to inhale a piece of toast before Jimin walked into the kitchen.
He grabbed some fruit, his eyes lingering on the hickeys scattered across my neck. "Dancing practice rough last night, Jisoo?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.
I blushed, stammering a lame excuse about clumsy choreography. He didn't buy it, but thankfully, he didn't push. He just shook his head and left me to my misery.
Practice was a blur of exhaustion and self-loathing. I was clumsy, off-key, and constantly on edge, terrified that someone would notice the evidence of my escapade.
As I was about to escape, Suga, with his uncanny ability to see through my carefully constructed facade, cornered me. He leaned in, his voice a low murmur. "Next time you decide to have a late-night rendezvous, Kim Jisoo, try to make it less obvious. You reek of sin." He winked and strolled away, leaving me speechless and mortified.
Back in my dorm, I collapsed on my bed, my face burning with shame. Then, my phone buzzed. A text from Jyu. Another from Hyun. They wanted to talk. About last night. About what it meant.
What did it mean? Was it a drunken mistake, a momentary lapse in judgment? Or was it something more? Something that had been simmering beneath the surface for years, finally boiling over in a haze of alcohol and pent-up desire?
I didn't know. And that terrified me more than anything.
The rest of the day passed in a fog of anxiety and exhaustion. I tried to focus on my work, but my mind kept drifting back to Jyu and Hyun, to the feel of their skin against mine, to the memory of their voices whispering my name.
The next day was more of the same, and the days after that, until eventually I couldn't resist the pull of Jyu and Hyun who were now my boyfriends.