"Come on...almost got it, just a little bit m-...damn it!" Exclaimed Raven, as he tried to form a nozzle out of his palm, but it fell apart before it could take shape.
"Looks like you've made a bit of progress, but there's still a long way to go," Remarked Aster, as Raven let out a strained sigh and picked up a water bottle, taking a deep gulp before wiping his sleeve across his forehead.
"Yeah, this is really hard. You guys writing out all the new abilities I used the last time my Dark form was unleashed definitely helped me visualize it better, but I'm still nowhere close to being able to reliably pull off any of those new abilities," Replied Raven, as he flopped onto the ground and stared up at the sky.
It was the 25th of March, 1919, a few days after the meeting in the Capital. It was late in the evening, and having completed their patrol shifts, Raven and Aster had met up for some training.
Raven had been working tirelessly to master his Homunculus abilities ever since the battle against the Undead King, but he hadn't made much progress, so he'd contacted Aster and asked him to help him train.
"It is a bit strange...you've always managed to learn new things pretty quickly, thanks to your sharpened instincts, so it's unusual to see you struggling so much. Maybe you still need to gain more control over your Magic Power?" Suggested Aster uncertainly.
"I don't know...I've been working hard on that too, and progress has been pretty steady, but I haven't really felt like it's made much of a difference with this. Like, with creating these nozzles that are supposed to intensify the output of my flames, I have no trouble visualizing it, and it feels like I'm about to get it, but then it just falls apart right at the end," Sighed Raven wearily.
"Hm...maybe it's a matter of your perception? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing you still see your Homunculus abilities as something separate, don't you? Subconsciously, you want to consider yourself human, so there's a part of you that despises and rejects the Homunculus part of your being. At least, that's my theory," Mused Aster thoughtfully.
"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure that's the case, but I can't say you're wrong either. And if I was given the choice, I'd definitely throw away these powers if it would mean that I could go back to the way I used to be. I feel so self-conscious every time I look in the mirror, and I definitely haven't felt human ever since I was put through the Homunculus Ritual. Maybe that is what's holding me back," Replied Raven, a conflicted look on his face.
"Well, if that's the case, then the solution is simple...at least, it is on paper. You need to accept that part of you and view it as being one in the same with the rest of your body. The disconnect in your perception of yourself needs to be fixed...but I know that can't possibly be easy. Changing your mindset in such a drastic manner isn't going to happen overnight, you can't get rid of insecurities just by desiring to do so, after all," Pointed out Aster.
"Yeah, definitely easier said than done. But now that I think about it, I think there's more to it than just that...I think there's also a sense of fear. I'm afraid of my Dark form, the fact that I gain such immense power while losing complete control is terrifying. I've gotten lucky so far, that I haven't seriously hurt anyone I care about while in that form, or worse. And I might not be so lucky if and when there's a next time...the next time my Dark form comes out, I might end up killing someone, and that terrifies me.
And yet, at the same time...the stronger I get and the more I master my Homunculus abilities, the less human I feel. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to being a full-on Monster, like, what if I slowly start to lose my humanity the closer I get to fully mastering my Homunculus powers? I mean, there hasn't been any indication that that's happening, I still feel the same on the inside. I even asked Celia, and she said that she hasn't noticed any changes in my personality or anything...but still, I just can't shake that fear from the back of my mind," Responded Raven, as he sat up with a grimace.
"I wish I could help you deal with this, but it sounds like an issue that you need to solve yourself. I will say this, though...to me, it doesn't matter what you look like, and I'm sure that goes for the others as well. Well, maybe except Celia...she's been pretty clear about the fact that she thinks your current appearance looks really cool, so if anything, she might be a little disappointed if you go back to being physically human," Remarked Aster with a wry smile.
"Heh, yeah, I can definitely see that."
"Well, it won't be easy, but at least you now know the path you need to take if you want to master your abilities further. The non-human parts of you, you need to embrace and accept it as being a part of you instead of viewing it as a foreign element. Right now, I'm guessing you're trying to control those powers like they're a weapon, instead of perceiving them as a part of you...you need of think of your powers in the same way that you view acts like breathing and moving your limbs, if that makes sense."
"Yeah, I think I know what you mean. I'll keep working on it. Thanks, man...I know you're pretty busy these days, so I really appreciate you taking the time to come out here and help me with this," Smiled Raven gratefully.
"Hey, no need to thank me, what are friends for, right? Plus, as your Captain, I have a responsibility to look out for my subordinates," Grinned Aster in response.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that, I guess you are technically my Captain now...thanks, Cap."
"Anytime, kid-...wait, what do you mean by 'technically'?"
Meanwhile, in a bar in Opal Town...
"Yeah, that shucks...hope it works out for you. By the way, I wanted to pick your brain about shomething, regarding Raven," Remarked Celia, slurring slightly.
"Uh, I don't know about that...I really don't want to hear any details about my brother's love life," Responded Ravella apprehensively.
"Hey, no fair...I listened to you rant about Ashter for, like, an hour, sho now i's my turn to talk," Slurred Celia indignantly.
"I think you might've had a bit too much to drink. But fine, I suppose you make a good point...please keep it vanilla though, nothing too graphic," Relented Ravella with a reluctant look on her face, before lifting up her mug and taking a sip of beer.
"Okay, sho it'sh like this...we've been making out a lot lately, and like, fondling and shtuff, but we haven't taken thingsh to the next level yet," Sighed Celia, as Ravella choked on her drink and let out a sharp, sputtering cough.
"H-hey, I just said-...!"
"Like, we almosht did that one time, but then thoshe stupid hooded Noblesh showed up and ruined it. And, like, Raven getsh pretty horny and shtuff when we're alone, but he alwaysh kinda flinchesh when I touch the shcaly partsh of hish body, and he'sh not comfy getting fully naked around me," Remarked Celia with a huff.
"O-okay, you have to stop, I mean it, Celia, I don't want to hear any of th-...," Began Ravella in horror.
"I mean, I've sheen him naked a few timesh, and I've made it clear that I'm not put off at all...actually, I think the purple and black shcales look waaaaaaay cooler than regular, boring old shkin. I mean, I get it, it'sh a constant reminder to him that hish body ishn't human anymore, but shtill, I wish I could help him work through those inshecurities," Sighed Celia wistfully, before adding, "Now, I know what you're thinking, ish hish dick covered in shcales too?"
"Wh-what? No, no, NO, absolutely not! Th-that's the farthest thing from my mind right now, I-...!"
"Well, it doesh, and it looks shuper cool! It'sh covered in those sleek, jet-black shcales, with a couple of purple shtreaks down the shaft and-...," Began Celia, before abruptly trailing off as Ravella leaned over and dumped the contents of her mug over Celia's head with an annoyed huff.
"Finally, looks like that shut you up."
Celia was quiet for a moment, a bewildered look on her face before she narrowed her eyes indignantly...
"Hey! Not cool! What wash that for!?"
"I just had enough, that's all. I did NOT need to hear all those details. Damn it, it's gonna take a while to forget everything I've heard today...hm, maybe there's some kind of drug I can take to wipe my memory of today..."
"No, you shouldn't do drugsh."
"Yeah, I'm not taking any advice from you right now."