Summary:
To stop Gideon's latest scheme to steal the shack, Dipper, Mabel, Steven, Connie, and Soos venture inside of Stan's mind to confront their most tricky foe yet, the devious dream demon Bill Cipher.
When it came to gloomy, rainy days, there really wasn't much to do around the Mystery Shack. Tourists were few and far between, which was why Stan had decided to close up shop as early as that morning. Still, Steven and Connie had already made the trip over to the shack, so they opted to join the Pines in just about the only kind of "fun" that could be had on a day like this: lazing around the den watching TV.
Of course, it didn't help that there wasn't much on the local public access movie channel. The kids were all on the verge of nodding off until Stan snorted out a sudden laugh at the cheerfully musical ad on screen.
"Oh geez, get a load of this shlock," he roused the others. He only barely managed to hold his laughter back as the commercial for the Tent of Telepathy played on.
"Who's cute as a button, and always your friend?" Gideon sang with the most cheesy, charming smile he could muster. " Lil' G-I-D to the E-O-N! Wink!" He finished off with a sly wink as a voiceover from Bud further promoted his son's act: "Lil' Gideon!"
"Ugh, Gideon," Dipper groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Remember when I wouldn't date him and he tried to destroy us?" Mabel asked, wincing at the memory.
"Or the time he tried using all my Watermelon Stevens to destroy the Gems?" Steven added, frowning mournfully. "Oh, Baby Melon, may you rest in peace—er, pieces."
"Yeesh, he's really a menace, isn't he?" Connie asked.
"'Menace' is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to that little freak," Stan scornfully scowled. "He's always trying to trick me into losing the Mystery Shack. Not to mention how he nearly got me and Amethyst arrested the other night."
"Uh, actually, I think you and Amethyst nearly got yourselves arrested," Dipper pointed out.
"Don't change the subject!" Stan snapped. "That doesn't change the fact that Gideon's still a creepy punk."
"Seriously though," Wendy agreed as she and Soos stepped into the room. "One time I caught him stealing my moisturizer."
"And yet, our mutual hatred for him bonds us together," Soos concluded.
"Come on down to Lil' Gideon's Tent of Telepathy!" Bud's voiceover exclaimed as the ad came to an end. "Opening soon at this location."
The shot suddenly changed to, of all places, the Mystery Shack. It didn't stay put for long though, as a second Tent of Telepathy fell smack on top of it, crushing it altogether. Soon after, a wrecking ball slammed into the Gem temple in the background, shattering the statue's face first before everything else fell apart soon after it.
"Oh my gosh!" Steven gasped, alarmed. "The temple! And the Mystery Shack! Oh this is terrible! How did Gideon do that while we were all standing in here?!"
"He didn't, Steven, it was just an effect," Dipper deadpanned. "Still… should we be worried about that?"
"Please," Stan waved his hand, unconcerned. "The only way Gideon's taking over the shack is by breaking in and stealing my deed."
No sooner had he said this than the stark sound of shattering glass echoed through the shack, startling everyone. "You mean like, right now?" Wendy asked, frowning.
Sure enough, Gideon had indeed busted into Stan's office, already hard at work trying to decipher the combination to the tightly-locked safe. "38? 41?" he muttered as he frantically turned the lock. "Oh, heavens to betsy!"
"Gideon!" Stan shouted from his spot in the doorway. Behind him, the kids, Soos, and Wendy gathered, all morbidly curious to see the confrontation about to unfold.
"Well, well, Stanford, my arch-nemesis" Gideon greeted him with a devious smirk. "Just like the other night, it seems as though we have entered a dangerous game of cat and mouse. But the question remains: who is the cat and who is the-"
"Soos," Stan interrupted, holding his hand out. "Broom."
"Oh no, not the broom!" Gideon cried. It didn't take long for a chase to break out, with Stan getting a few good whacks of the broom in. Though Gideon tried to retaliate by hissing, Stan ultimately swept him away, finally forcing him out of the room–and out of the shack altogether.
"And stay out, you chump!" Stan ordered from his spot at the door.
"You mark my words, Stanford!" Gideon spun back around, angrily shaking his fist. "One day I'm gonna get that combination! Nobody can stop me! Not you, not those bothersome Crystal Gems, not anyone! And once I get that deed, you'll never see the Mystery Shack again!"
Stan could only roll his eyes; he'd never taken any of Gideon's threats seriously before and he sure wasn't about to start now. "Good luck, bucko," he sneered. And with that, he slammed the door shut, leaving Gideon to bitterly seethe in the pouring rain.
Even so, Stan made sure to check the safe in his office once more, just in case. As he expected, Gideon hadn't even come close to cracking it, and Stan was confident it would stay that way. "Heh," he chuckled to himself as he headed out. "The combo to this safe is in the one place he'll never find it: my brain."
Still, Gideon wasn't one to give up that easily. As he spied on his rival through the window, a cunning scheme began to take shape. One that was sure to finally give him everything he ever wanted and then some.
"Your brain isn't as safe as you might think, Stanford Pines!" Gideon grinned as he pulled the second journal out of his suit. "This is the last straw! It's time to unlock the journal's greatest secret…"
His smile turned nearly manic as he flipped to the entry he was looking for. The page was practically covered in codes and cryptograms, but one thing was more than clear: the strange image of an allegedly otherworldly being. A being that promised anyone who summoned them untold power and knowledge.
Only time would tell if that promise carried any weight.
The eventful stir Gideon's break-in had caused quickly faded. In its place, boredom set in all over again. The kids did what they could to ward it off as Dipper and Connie had taken to playing a board game while Steven and Mabel huddled in close to watch silly videos on the former's phone. Both initially innocent time-wasters that all too quickly became far too noisy for Stan's liking.
"Ugh, that's it!" Stan interrupted their laughter, swiftly silencing it. "I want every kid who isn't related to me outta here– now ! And to be honest, the kids who are related to me are on pretty thin ice too…" He muttered, scowling down at Dipper and Mabel.
Steven and Connie exchanged a look at this, surprised. "But… it's pouring down rain outside," Connie pointed out, frowning.
"So?" Stan shrugged. "Umbrellas exist for a reason, don't they? Besides, if you brats wanna bother someone so badly, I know a whole temple full of Gems who definitely have it coming."
"But Mr. Pines, the Gems are on a really dangerous mission today," Steven explained. "Which is why Pearl told us to come spend the day down here. She said that you owe her and Garnet for what happened with the cops the other night."
"Oh what, and Amethyst doesn't?" Stan huffed. "She was part of that just as much as-" He cut himself off the second he caught the curious looks the kids were sending his way. "Uh, I mean… never mind. I guess you two can hang out here for a while. But only until the Gems get back and only as long as you stop trying to give me a headache."
"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan," Mabel assured, smiling. "We'll be super quiet." Almost as soon as she said this, however, her hand slipped on Steven's phone and a loud song blared out. Before either of them could try to stop it, Stan swiped the device away from them in short order.
"Hey, my phone!" Steven protested, reaching for it.
"Obviously you two can't handle the responsibility of- " Stan paused as he looked over the phone, confused. "Whatever this weird noise box is. So until you can, I'll just hold onto it. Same goes for this mess." Dipper and Connie were caught off guard when Stan suddenly stepped over to them and pulled their board game up–pieces and all.
"Wha–but Grunkle Stan, we weren't even being that loud!" Dipper argued, annoyed.
"You were being loud enough," Stan dryly countered. "Don't throw a fit over it, kid; I can almost guarantee you weren't gonna win anyway."
"Hey!" Dipper exclaimed. His already flustered blush only deepened when he heard Connie softly chuckle behind him,
"Well, Grunkle Stan," Mabel piped up. "If we aren't allowed to watch TubeTube videos or play any games, then can we at least watch a movie that we'll all enjoy instead of… that?" She frowned as she nodded over to the lackluster old western playing on the nearby TV.
"He put the old in 'old west'." The TV advertised. "They call him 'Grandpa the Kid!'"
"I'm tired during the day," the film's elderly cowboy grumbled.
"Hey, I'll have you know I can relate to this!" Stan snapped, defensive.
"But that old junk is sooooo boring," Mabel whined, sticking her tongue out. "Which is why I have the perfect suggestion for what we should watch instead!" She held up a very colorful VHS tape. " Dream Boy High ! 'Where love is on your permanent record'."
"What?" Stan blinked, completely confounded.
"No," Dipper flatly rejected his sister's suggestion.
Connie more or less did the same. "Uh…"
Steven, on the other hand, was much more taken. "Oh wow!" he exclaimed, smiling. "This movie looks like it'll be great. Just look at how cool and colorful these guys are!" He pointed to the duo of 90s neon-clad teens on the tape's cover.
Before they could reach a final decision, however, a sudden crash sounded from the kitchen. Soos ran into the den soon after it, frazzled. "Dude, there's a bat in the kitchen! It tried to touch me with its little bat fingers!"
"Don't worry, I got this under control," Stan said, before he casually reclined back into his chair and nonchalantly handed the task off. "Dipper, take care of it."
"What?" Dipper asked. "Why can't Mabel do it?"
"Cause life ain't fair," Stan shrugged, unsympathetic. "Now go fight a bat so we can watch TV."
While Dipper knew it'd be far easier to just hang his head and do as his uncle said, that's not what happened. Instead, he stood his ground, far more than a little frustrated with how unfairly Stan had been treating lately. "No way, Grunkle Stan!" he firmly refused, standing between his uncle and the TV. "You're always making me do dumb chores and I'm tired of it! I'm putting my foot down this time!" He did exactly that too, hoping it showed just how much he actually meant it.
The others were all thoroughly convinced as they let out a chorus of intrigued "ooos". Stan, on the other hand, wasn't amused.
"I said do it, kid," he harshly ordered. "Now!"
Even under such a severe command, Dipper did his best not to waver. Instead, he crossed his arms and fixed Stan with a stern glare, one that was returned in full, and then some. Their matching scowls only intensified by the second–
Until Stan's fierce, downright threatening stare ultimately won out in the end.
"Ok! Ok! I'll do it," Dipper relented, defeated. Without another word, he headed for the kitchen, with Mabel, Steven, and Connie not far behind him, curious to watch whatever was about to unfold. "Ugh, stupid chores…" Dipper muttered as he armed himself with a spoon and a saucepan.
"You got this, Dipper!" Steven warmly encouraged. "The good thing about bats is that they're really small, but then again… they can fly… which means they might be kinda hard to catch…"
"Just remember," Mabel cut in with what she believed was much better advice. "Bats are more afraid of you than you are of them." Dipper didn't really take their well-meaning, misguided help to heart as he took in a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen. Mabel didn't pay him much mind in favor of thoughtfully correcting herself instead. "Or maybe I'm thinking of ducklings…"
"Um, you guys?" Connie frowned as she watched what was happening in the kitchen. Noisy chaos had already broken out as Dipper tried and failed to wrangle the bat. Not that Steven or Mabel really noticed as they continued their conversation.
"Ducklings are so cute!" Steven exclaimed, smiling.
"Guys-" Connie tried again, only for her growing concerns to be drowned out.
"I know, right?" Mabel cheerfully agreed. "Quack! Quack! Quack!"
For her part, Connie simply rolled her eyes and sighed before opting to go in and help Dipper herself. Between the two of them, they finally managed to chase the bat out of the kitchen through an open window. Still, the ordeal had left Dipper with a few cuts and bruises, which the others helped him clean and dress once the "emergency" was over with.
"Ow, ow!" Dipper hissed in pain as Soos dabbed disinfectant over the cut on his arm.
"You know, Dipper, this would be way faster and easier with my healing spit," Steven pointed out, giving his hand a generous lick. "This stuff will fix you right up, just ask Connie!"
"Can't really argue with you there," Connie chucked, adjusting the empty frames of her glasses.
"Uh, thanks, Steven, but I think I'm good," Dipper glanced away, blushing.
"Well, ok," Steven shrugged. "But the offer's still on the table for if you ever have to chase off another bat or something!"
"Uh… right…" Dipper winced as Mabel finished bandaging the cut on his forehead. "I just don't get it. Why does Grunkle Stan always pick on me? Think about it! The more painful or difficult the chore is, the more likely it is I'll have to do it! Why doesn't he pick on you guys like that?"
"Pfft, what are you even talking about?" Mabel shook her head. "Stan's not hard on you, silly! He just likes showing tough love sometimes!"
"Yeah, like when he tells me and the Gems that we're 'annoying' and that we're 'the worst neighbors ever'," Steven said, oblivious. "Amethyst says that's just Mr. Pines' way of joking around with us! Which means he must love joking around with us because he says that sort of stuff so much!"
"... Sure , Steven," Dipper deadpanned. "That's what it means."
"Dipper, Stan's personality is just one of life's great mysteries," Soos spoke up. "Like whether or not it's possible to lick your own elbow."
"I bet you can't!" Mabel challenged him.
"I bet I can!" Soos began his first attempt as Steven and Mabel cheered him on.
"Lick it! Lick it!" the pair rallied as they followed Soos out of the room. Connie hung back with Dipper, who kept his bitter glare fixed on a portrait of Stan hanging on the nearby wall.
"You sure you're gonna be ok?" Connie asked him. "I'm sure it's not too late to take Steven up on that healing offer."
"Huh?" Dipper started. "Oh, no, I'm fine, I just-" He trailed off, sighing as he scowled back up at the photo. "I wish I knew what Grunkle Stan's problem with me is. The last thing I need is someone else being super hard on me when I already get enough of that back ho–" He sharply cut himself off, ignoring the curious look Connie sent his way as he made a point of clearing his throat. "N-nevermind. Still, it'd be nice if Stan would just ease up on me, just a little, you know?"
"Believe it or not, I sorta do," Connie said as she took a seat across the table from him. "My mom is pretty hard on me sometimes too. From what I understand, she does it so she can, and I quote, 'prepare me for the ever-changing demands of an increasingly complex society that I'll have to eventually face as an educated career woman'. Or something like that."
"Uh… that's nice, I guess?" Dipper raised an eyebrow. "But I doubt Stan's trying to prepare me for anything other than taking on all of the things he doesn't feel like doing himself."
Before Connie could say anything to this, Stan suddenly yelled another order from the other room. "The sink's clogged! Dipper! Get in here and fix it!"
"Ugh, see what I mean?" Dipper simply groaned, far from surprised at this point. After all, he'd come to expect his uncle's cold contempt by now. And, as far as he could tell and as much as he might have wished otherwise, that wasn't something that was bound to change anytime soon.
The rain had finally let up enough to allow Mabel, Steven, and Soos to venture outside. They headed towards the woods, and all the while, Soos continued his ill-fated attempt to lick his own elbow, with the kids still cheering him on nonetheless.
"Lick that elbow! Lick that elbow!" Despite their support, it wasn't long before Soos had no choice but to give up, letting out a sigh of defeat.
"Like the infinite horizon, it is beyond my grasp," he admitted as Steven and Mabel shared a laugh. The levity didn't last long, however, as a familiar, devious laugh sounded from the woods nearby.
"What was that?" Steven asked, peering toward the trees.
"Wait," Mabel paused as the laughter continued. "Is that who I think it is…?"
The group pressed a bit further into the forest, where sure enough, they found the laughter's source in a clearing not too far away. "Ugh, Gideon?" Mabel groaned from their hiding spot in the surrounding shrubs. "What's he still doing here?"
"Looks like he's playing around with some candles?" Steven frowned, confused.
"In the middle of the woods?" Soos shook his head disapprovingly. "Where's that bear who's always talking about not starting forest fires when you need him?"
The trio fell silent, leaning in to watch whatever Gideon was doing with his strange setup. In the center of the ring of candles sat a photo of Stan with his eyes crossed out, a sign that was every bit as worrying as the book in Gideon's hands. None of them could see its cover clearly as Gideon flipped through its weathered pages, intently searching for something.
"You think that combination's safe in your mind, Stanford?" Gideon grinned twistedly when he finally found the entry he was looking for. "We'll see what my new minion has to say about that!"
Using his unknown book as a guide, Gideon began to recite something from it–a spell of sorts–in another language entirely. "Triangulum, entangulum. Vene foris dominus mentum. Vene foris videntis omnium!"
From their spot in the woods, Mabel, Steven, and Soos could only watch, bewildered, as the book slipped from Gideon's hands. His eyes began to glow a blank, bright blue as he doubled over, possibly in pain.
"Whoa, dudes, looks like something's up with him," Soos noted, his eyes wide.
"Maybe we should go out and check on him?" Steven asked, unable to hide his concern.
Mabel was more than ready to shoot that idea down when Gideon suddenly collapsed to his knees, letting out an unnerving, indecipherable chant. "Egassem sdrawkcab. egassem sdrawkcab. Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab! Egassem sdrawkcab!"
As that chant reached its peak, time itself almost seemed to slow to a total stop. Likewise, almost all traces of color drained from the surrounding forest, leaving only dull shades of grey in its place. And yet, as alarming as that already was, things only took a stranger turn as a bright flash suddenly sparked above the summoning circle.
From that spark, a triangular shape began to emerge, filled with stars and traced by bright blue flames on all sides. As a large, single eye opened in the center of that triangle, a laugh , of all things, echoed through the empty air, loud, boisterous, and demented. As the startled trio in the woods hunkered down into hiding, Gideon took a nervous step back as whatever he'd managed to summon took on its full, peculiar form.
A snappy-dressed golden triangle with a mischievous glint in his one and only eye.
"Oh, Gravity Falls, it is good to be back!" he exclaimed in his bright, pitchy voice. "Haven't seen this old place since I rattled those rocks all those years ago. But I'll spare the boring details on all that–spoilers, ya know." With that, he adjusted his top hat and his bowtie before gliding in closer to Gideon, who could only gape up at him in disbelief. "Name's Bill Cipher! And I take it you're some kind of living ventriloquist dummy. Ha! Just kidding! I know who you are, Gideon!"
"W-what are you?!" Gideon squeaked, frightened. "And h-how did you know my name?"
"Oh, I know lots of things!" Bill exclaimed before his voice suddenly dropped, turning deep and ominous. At the same time, countless images rapidly flashed across his flat form, far too quickly to be made out clearly. "LOTS OF THINGS… Hey, look what I can do!" Just as quickly, Bill was back to his usual yellow as he reached a hand out toward a deer grazing at the edge of the clearing. With just a flick of his wrist, each and every one of the doe's teeth were yanked from its mouth before landing in a pile in Bill's palm. "Deer teeth!" he cheerfully dumped his prize into Gideon's hands. "For you, kid!"
"Augh!" Gideon cried, disgusted as he let the deer teeth fall to the ground. "You're insane!"
"Sure, I am! What's your point?" With another wave of Bill's hand, the deer's teeth glided right back to where he'd gotten them from. "I never did understand why you fleshbags get so worked up whenever I pull that parlor trick. It's supposed to be charming ."
By now, Gideon's patience was starting to wear thin. He gathered his nerve, rising to his full (still quite short) height as he boldly voiced his demands. "Listen to me, demon! I have a job for you. I need you to enter the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe!"
Mabel, Steven, and Soos all did what they could to suppress a round of startled gasps. To think that Gideon would go this far, summoning a literal demon just to get his hands on the Mystery Shack… It was clear that this time, he was through playing around. This time, he meant business.
Bill, however, simply laughed, clearly not taking Gideon that seriously. "Yeah, sure, I-" He suddenly stopped short, his eye shifting into a glare as he turned away. "Wait… Stan Pines…" He pondered the familiar name as several more images flashed through his form before his eye grew wide in realization. "You know what, kid? You've convinced me. I'm sold!" he proclaimed as he turned back to Gideon. "I'll help you with this, and in return you can help me with something I've been working on! We'll work out the details later."
"Deal!" Gideon exclaimed without a second thought. Regardless of just how ominous Bill's unknown "conditions" might have been.
As Bill extended his hand to seal the deal, it erupted into an unnaturally blue blaze. Gideon flinched, hesitating away from the cool fire at first. Until he took the plunge and shook the demon's hand, determined to get his revenge. No matter what.
"Well, time to invade Stan's mind! This should be fun!" Bill exclaimed with a snap of his fingers. "Remember: Realityisanillusiontheuniverseisahologramtheclusteriscomingbuygold bye!"
And with that, Bill disappeared in a flash. The second he was gone, color bled back into the world as time picked back up to its normal speed, as if nothing had even happened at all. Still, Gideon let out a maniacal laugh, confident that his sinister schemes were starting to come together at last. The trio hiding in the bushes, meanwhile, couldn't be any less worried by everything they'd just seen.
"Guys, this is really bad," Mabel said, frowning. "We can't let that triangle guy get inside Stan's mind. Who knows what'll happen if he does?"
"Dudes, that guy was crazy bonkers creepy!" Soos agreed. "Did you see what he did with those deer teeth? I totally thought I was gonna puke!"
"And the way he just… laughed about it, like it was actually funny," Steven shuddered. "It was scary. Even if his little top hat and bow tie were kinda cute. But what can we do to stop him?"
"Oh! Oh! I know!" Mabel exclaimed with newfound excitement. "Who better to call to get rid of super evil things like that than the three coolest Gems in Gravity Falls? Well, the only three Gems in Gravity Falls, but still! I'm sure they'd be able to beat that triangle guy, no problem!"
"Yeah!" Steven nodded, only for his smile to quickly fade "Oh, but wait… they're gone for the day and I don't know when they'll be back. And I don't think we really have a lot of time to wait for them…"
"Dang it!" Mabel huffed. "Well then, I guess we're gonna have to do this ourselves. To the Mystery Shack!"
"To the Mystery Shack!" Soos and Steven echoed, completely on board. Until-
"Uh, actually, can we maybe stop off for snacks first?" Soos piped up. "You can't fight a triangle demon on an empty stomach, dudes."
Steven and Mabel paused, only for a beat, before they both unanimously agreed. "To the Big Donut!" Steven zealously proclaimed as Soos and Mabel followed suit.
"To the Big Donut!"
After handling the problem with the sink, Stan had "rewarded" Dipper by giving him a whole list of other chores that needed to be done around the shack. While Connie had kindly volunteered to help him out with them, Dipper still couldn't shake the frustration that filled him every time he so much as glanced at his uncle. He gripped his broom just a bit tighter as he swept the floor in the den, sparing an annoyed glance over at Stan as he peacefully napped away in his recliner nearby.
"What is going on in that guy's head…?" Dipper wondered to himself as Stan mumbled incoherently. He didn't have time to pursue the question any further, however, before Mabel, Steven, and Soos rushed into the den in a panic.
"Dipper! We gotta help Stan!" Mabel cried. Despite her high volume, Stan didn't so much as flinch from his steady slumber behind her.
"Wait, what?" Dipper asked, confused. Likewise, Connie stepped out of the kitchen, curious to see what all the fuss was about.
"This evil triangle guy said he's gonna break into Stan's mind and steal the combination to his safe!" Soos exclaimed, his mouth full of Burrito Bites. "Also, we stopped for snacks on the way here."
"We watched Gideon summon him out in the woods," Steven continued to explain."They made like, some kind of deal, I think?"
"Ok, ok, slow down," Connie cautioned. "Are you all sure about what you saw? I know there's a lot of weird stuff around here, but a triangle guy? That sounds far-fetched, even for Gravity Falls."
"Wait," Dipper cut in, pulling the journal out of his vest. "I feel like I've seen something like this before…" He briefly flipped through the book before landing on a page he'd only ever skimmed through. Instead of the author's usual clean script, this entry appeared to have been hastily, anxiously written, with what looked like dried blood splattered onto the parchment. Its content only proved to be even more disturbing as Dipper read it aloud for the others to hear.
"Beware Bill! The most powerful and dangerous creature I've ever encountered. This nightmare in disguise will seduce you with never ending flattery until he gets what he wants. Whatever you do, never trust him and never let him into your mind. There is no telling what damage Bill might do. Do not summon at all costs."
This reading was suddenly interrupted when Stan loudly started tossing and turning about in his sleep. "Grunkle Stan!" Mabel cried, alarmed. Still, none of them could do a single thing when the triangular shadow of Bill Cipher himself appeared on the wall behind Stan. Just as quickly as he'd appeared, he was gone, sinking out of sight and straight into Stan's mind, just as Gideon had instructed. The effect on Stan was immediate, as his movements turned jerky and erratic. His eyes shot open–eerily, emptily glowing–proving that he was anything but awake in light of whatever the demon might be doing to him.
"Well," Connie started, bewildered. "I-I guess that proves he's real after all."
"Oh no! We're too late!" Steven exclaimed. "What do we do?"
Mabel quickly found an answer when she grabbed the journal from Dipper and read an excerpt from the next page aloud. "It is possible to follow the demon into a person's mind and prevent his chaos. One must simply recite this incantation."
"Oh, this is just great," Dipper said, scowling. "I spend all day cleaning sinks and fighting bats for Stan and now I have to save him from some crazy brain demon?"
"But we gotta help Mr. Pines, Dipper!" Steven earnestly urged. "If we don't do something, then who knows what might happen?"
"Gideon might steal the shack!" Mabel fretfully added. "Or worse!"
Without warning, Stan let out another scream against his restless thrashing. If that wasn't enough to prompt everyone into action, then nothing was.
"Fine," Dipper begrudgingly agreed. If only because he knew Mabel and Steven would never let him hear the end of it if he didn't. "Get ready, guys. We're about to journey into the most horrifying, disturbing place any of us have ever been: our uncle's mind."
Despite the determination the kids had for their daring mission, Soos cut in with a curious question. "You think I can take these Burrito Bites into Stan's brain?" he asked, holding the bag of snacks up. "Thumbs up? Thumbs down?" He paused for a moment, ultimately reaching his decision with a small laugh. "You know what, I'm just gonna bring 'em."
Working quickly, the group relied on the journal to help them get everything in order. After dimming the lights and arranging a circle of candles, everyone gathered around Stan, preparing themselves for the daunting task ahead.
"Ok, guys," Dipper said as he turned through the journal to the incantation. "In order to save Stan, we're gonna have to follow that dream demon into his mind."
"I wonder what it'll be like in there…" Steven mused curiously. "Oh! Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a tiny version of Mr. Pines in there who will take us on a tour? It'd be just like it is here at the shack!"
"Oh my gosh, that would be the cutest thing ever," Mabel agreed with a delighted smile. "Especially if Tiny Stan sang and danced! I've always wanted the real Stan to do that, but he never does 'cause he says it's 'too cheesy'."
"Somehow I seriously doubt that's how any of this works," Connie said, frowning.
"Guys, come on," Dipper cut in. "Stop messing around. The sooner we get in there, the sooner we can get out and be done with this whole thing. "
"I wonder what Stan is thinking right now," Soos said. With a small grin, he pulled his boss' jaw up and down and threw his voice to put words in his mouth. "'I love Soos like a son!'"
"Soos! This is serious!" Dipper impatiently scolded.
"'Sorry!'" Soos exclaimed, still pretending to speak through Stan.
"So if we're finally done wasting time," Dipper shot the others a disapproving glance. "Then let's do this."
Once everyone had placed a hand on Stan's head as a point of contact, Dipper began to recite the incantation straight from the pages of the journal. "Videntis Omnium. Magister Mentium. Magnesium Ad Hominem. Magnum Opus. Habeas Corpus." As the spell went on, all of their eyes–and even the gemstone on Steven's stomach–began to take on the same blue glow as Stan's. None of them really noticed, however, as Dipper finished the incantation off. "Inceptus Nolanus Overratus. Magister Mentium. Magister Mentium! Magister Mentium!"
A very bright, quick flash filled the room, blowing out every last candle in its wake. And in that flash, the entire group disappeared in the blink of an eye–
Only to find themselves in what felt like another world completely.
Each and every one of them was taken aback by the grayscale dreamscape surrounding them. The air was still and lifeless, without a single speck of color to spare. The same could be said about the barely recognizable Mystery Shack standing before them. The structure was even more dilapidated than usual, hewn and stitched together without any form or order to speak of. Curious, the group moved in closer to it, taking care with each step lest this illusory world fall to pieces all around them.
"Whoa… is this really Stan's mind?" Mabel asked, eyes wide.
"This is… surreal," Connie commented, amazed.
"I figured there would be more hot old ladies," Soos said.
"And I guess there's no Tiny Mr. Pines after all…" Steven frowned, disappointed.
"Remember everyone," Mabel said, her tone turning serious. "We've gotta look out for the triangle guy."
"Yeah, look out for the triangle guy!"
The entire group jumped when Bill himself made his arrival, rising up from somewhere below the shack's porch.
"It's him!" Soos exclaimed. "It's the guy!"
"Oh my gosh," Connie exchanged a dumbfounded glance with Dipper. "He really is a triangle."
"You leave our uncle's brain alone, you isosceles monster!" Mabel warned. Her boldness got the better of her as she charged straight for the demon in the hopes of catching him off guard. However, Bill was more than ready for such an attack as he allowed Mabel to leap right into him, hardly caring as she disappeared into his triangular form for a moment before she came tumbling right back out. "Gotcha!" Mabel exclaimed, only to find that her hands were empty. "Wait, what?"
"Ah, Stan's family. We meet at last," Bill greeted, tipping his hat. "Question Mark, Shooting Star, Pine Tree, I had a hunch I might bump into you! Oh wow, and Sword Swinger too; we're really shaking things up this time around, huh?"
The group looked at each other, thrown off by this round of peculiar nicknames. "What are you talking about?" Dipper asked, confused.
"Oh, you don't know?" Bill asked almost coyly. "Alrighty then, why don't I lend you a hand?"
He pointed a finger straight at Dipper, or more specifically, at his left arm. A blast of energy sparked from that finger, and though Dipper didn't feel a thing, when he looked over, his arm was completely, horrifically gone . He screamed, utterly panicked, though it was quickly drowned out by Bill's twisted, downright sadistic laughter.
"Aw, don't get so bent out of shape about it, Pine Tree!" he cheerily exclaimed. "It's not like this is the last time you're gonna lose track of that thing anyway. Isn't foreshadowing just so much fun?"
"Hey!" Steven suddenly spoke up, appalled. "You can't do that to him!"
Bill's eye widened ever so slightly, sparking with newfound interest as he turned his attention over to Steven. "Well, look who else joined this party!" Suddenly, he vanished, reappearing right behind Steven as he slung an arm over his shoulder. "Hey there, Rosebud! How are you and those Crystal Chumps doing?"
"You mean… the Crystal Gems?"
"Well, duh!" Bill rolled his eye. "I'd ask how good ol' Quartzy is, but that would be pretty redundant, if you catch my drift."
"Wait, Quartzy? As in… Rose Quartz?" Steven blinked, surprised. "You knew my mom?"
"Boy, did I ever!" Bill chuckled. "Me 'n Quartzy go waaaaaay back! She sure was something else, let me tell you! But I know you all didn't come all this way to watch me wallow in nostalgia." With this, Bill hovered back over to his former spot on the porch. "Instead, why don't we chat about how you kids are gonna leave and let me go about my business, hm?"
Despite the still-lingering shock over his missing arm, Dipper quickly collected himself upon hearing this. If only to try and show this cunning creature he wasn't afraid of him–even if he very much was. "Not a chance! What do you want with our uncle's mind anyway?"
"Oh, just the code to the old man's safe!" Bill pulled a cane out of thin air, casually spinning it around. "Inside the shack is a maze of a thousand doors representing your uncle's memories. Behind one of them is a memory of him inputting the code. I just need to find it and Gideon will pay me handsomely!"
"Not if we stop you!" Connie challenged.
"Ha! Fat chance!" Bill scoffed. "I'm the master of the mind. I even know what you're all thinking about right now!"
"That's impossible!" Mabel confidently proclaimed. "No one can guess what I'm thinking!"
She was proven wrong as soon as Bill snapped his fingers. In a flash of colorful light, a pair of young men, both clad in the gaudy neon fashion of the 90s, appeared on either side of Mabel.
"Ahhhhh!" she let out a joyful squeal as she beamed up at the pair. "Xyler and Craz from Dream Boy High ?! You two are even dreamier in person, if that's even possible!"
"Whoa, where are we, bro?" Xyler asked, looking around.
"We must be in heaven, 'cause I just saw an angel!" Craz pointed at Mabel, smiling.
"Oh please…" Connie groaned, rolling her eyes.
Mabel, however, simply let out another happy scream as she hugged Craz's leg tight. "I'm never letting go of your leg!"
"Well, this has been a real blast, but I'm afraid I've gotta split." Bill paused for a moment, tapping his "chin" as an idea came to him. "On second thought, so do all of you. So… see ya!"
Before anyone could ask what he meant, Bill suddenly snapped his fingers. In an instant, every last one of them vanished. Still, they could all still somehow hear the demon's laughter taunting them even as they disappeared.
Mabel gasped as she suddenly reappeared somewhere , letting out a frightened cry as she fell through the open air. Fortunately, she landed in a pair of strong, steady arms–the arms of her "Dream Boys" to be exact.
"Whoa there!" Xyler exclaimed. "Arm throne!"
"An arm throne totally fit for an awesome princess," Craz added, smiling down at Mabel.
Once again, Mabel squealed as she blissfully reclined back in their arms. "I could stay like this forever…"
"Uh, are you sure about that, dude?" Soos suddenly popped into her field of vision. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it does look super comfy, but we kinda have a few problems on our hands here."
"Oh yeah?" Mabel sat up, still propped up in the boys' arms. "Like wha– oh ." She stopped short when she got a better look around. A grayscale, disjointed interior stretched before them, with staircases rising and falling all around. In almost every direction they looked, there were doors, some big, some small, all hiding untold secrets behind them.
Or, if what Bill had told them was true, memories behind them.
"Are we… inside of the mind-Shack thingy?" Mabel wondered, bewildered.
"Radical!" Craz exclaimed, grinning.
"I also think it's radical!" Xyler enthusiastically agreed.
"How'd we end up in here?" Mabel asked Soos.
He shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, dude. One minute we were outside with the others, and then, like bam ! We're in here, and Dipper, Steven, and Connie are gone."
"They're what ?!" Mabel gasped, hopping down from her perch. She glanced around, sure enough finding that her friends were nowhere to be found. "Oh no! Bill must have split us all up! We've gotta find them–and the code to that safe–and fast!"
"Mabel is talking!" Craz exclaimed, duly impressed.
" So rad!" Xyler nodded, just as excited.
"Where do we even start looking though?" Soos wandered over to one of the doors. "This place is like some sort of bonkers mind-maze-"
He stopped short as he curiously opened the door, only to find a much younger version of Stan, sitting in a jail cell between two rugged inmates. "Jorge, Rico," Stan smiled as he threw his arms over their shoulders. "You're the best Colombian prison friends a fella could make."
"Espero que muera," Rico said, fixing Stan with a hateful glare.
"Si," Jorge agreed simply.
"Whoa," Soos stepped back from the door, surprised. "These doors really are Mr. Pines' memories!"
"That means one of them's gotta be the safe code," Mabel threw another door open. Behind it was yet another memory of a younger Stan, trying his luck at pedaling vacuums as a door-to-door salesman.
"Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum?" he began his pitch with a flashy grin. "Stan-Vac: It sucks more than anything." Needless to say, that was more than enough to convince the customer to slam the door right in his face. "Gotta work on that…"
"That's not it," Mabel frowned, shutting the door. "This could take a while… But we can't give up! We'll find that memory–and everyone else–and then we'll be out of here in no time! And we're not gonna let some crazy, polygonal demon stop us!"
"Yeah!" Soos, Xyler, and Craz all cheered in agreement.
"Now," Mabel smiled, determined as she turned to the next door down the hall. The first of many, many more ahead. "Let's get to memory-hunting…"
Dipper gasped as he sat up, his right hand darting to his left side for an arm that should have been there, but wasn't. His heart sank when he realized that hadn't been a dream–or rather, a nightmare –after all. And neither was the strange space he now found himself in.
"What the…?" he wondered, standing to get a better look at the winding halls and corridors stretching before him. He quickly found he wasn't entirely alone, however, as he heard a soft groan sound behind him.
"Oh my gosh! Connie!" Dipper exclaimed, running to her side to help her up. "Are you ok?"
"Ugh… Dipper?" Connie winced, resting a hand against her head. "Where are we?"
"I… have no idea," Dipper admitted. "I'm gonna guess we're even deeper in Stan's mind? Looks like Bill separated us from the others too."
"That sounds about right," Connie nodded. "It's probably a lot easier for him if we all have to look for each other on top of that safe combination. But," she put on a confident smile as she turned to the vast hall ahead of them. "That doesn't mean we can't look for both of them at the same time."
"Right," Dipper agreed, though his own smile soon faded as he skimmed his hand against a nearby door. "I wonder what the deal with all these is…" Curious, he turned the knob, only to be surprised by a scene of Stan and Amethyst on one of their infamous Revenge Trips inside.
"I thought you said nobody saw you steal those tires!" Stan swerved his car as police sirens blared behind them.
"Hey, how was I supposed to know that place had a security camera!?" Amethyst scoffed. "Just do what you always do when the heat shows up. Floor it!"
"I can do better than that," Stan smirked, shifting his car into gear. Amethyst roared with laughter as Stan stuck his head out the window, taunting the cops as they fell far behind them. "Try and catch us now, suckers!"
"Well, that was… something," Connie said, raising an eyebrow. "I guess these doors must represent all of Mr. Pines' memories. Who knows how many of them there might be?"
"I'm sure there's plenty of Stan bossing me around," Dipper scowled. He found himself wishing he still had both arms so he could cross them. "Can't wait to see more of that."
"Come on, Dipper," Connie urged. "I know you're too happy with Mr. Pines right now, but we can't just let Bill or Gideon win! Besides, we also need to find the others; for all we know, they could be in trouble somewhere in here."
"Fine," Dipper relented, sighing. "But let's be clear: I'm not doing any of this for Stan."
"If you say so," Connie couldn't help but smirk as she motioned for him to pass her by. He shot her a sharp look, one that only made her coy smile widen, much to Dipper's annoyance.
"I thought you were on my side with this," he dryly pointed out.
"I am," she shrugged, following after him as they headed down the colorless hall together. "Doesn't mean I still can't have at least a little fun along the way."