🚨 Breaking News: Support a God-Tier Writer (Or Else) 🚨
Tired of boring, predictable stories? Want action, chaos, and jokes so dark they make Homelander look like a preschool teacher? Well, YOU'RE IN LUCK!!!!
I'm Flash, your new favorite writer (you just don't know it yet), and I'm crafting absolute bangers over at Patreon. From "The Boys fanfiction" where gods throw hands to +dark humor that'll get you side-eyed in public, I've got it all.
🔥 **Why join my Patreon?** 🔥
✅ **Exclusive chapters** before the peasants get them
✅ **Vote on story decisions** (Yes, you get to play God)
✅ **Behind-the-scenes madness** (aka my creative breakdowns)
✅ **Possibly a shoutout, definitely my eternal gratitude**
And the best part? **It's cheaper than therapy!** So stop being a freeloader and **support my unhinged storytelling** here:
👉 [patreon.com/MrFlashXO] 👈
Several have already joined them, why don't you try it out too, ehh?
Join now, or I'll make a character based on you… and kill them off horribly. Your choice. 💀
Anyways Happy Reading.
__________
When I woke up, I found myself in a white room.
"The fuck?", I groaned as I felt a strong pain in my head, as it were about to burst open.
"Welcome. "
"Fk. ", I screamed.
Standing in front of me was a guy.
I blinked, trying to process the guy standing in front of me. If he was supposed to be some grand cosmic figure, someone had seriously messed up his character design. He looked like the human embodiment of "winging it." His shirt said, "I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode," and his hair looked like it had been styled by a tornado. He wasn't standing so much as slouching, holding a coffee mug like it was a holy relic.
His expression? Somewhere between "I just woke up" and "I don't even know why I'm here."
"Welcome," he said again, his voice as nonchalant as someone greeting a pizza delivery guy.
I stared at him, trying to figure out if he was some kind of trickster, a very casual god, or maybe just a dude who wandered into the wrong cosmic plane.
"Who the fk are you?", I asked confusedly.
I got brought here and this guy is in front of me. Surely I was brought here by him. Atleast that's what I think has happened here.
"Well. I am The God. The Only One. ", he spoke and light fking flashed from behind him.
'Was this supposed to glorify him or something?', I thought to myself.
"So how many Gods are there in this world ? There was the one I met before, and now it is you? How many more of you are there?", I asked.
He shrugged and said, "Look man. I would have said something reassuring to you. But no, there are no other Gods. I created this world, with my pen, with my ink. Although he helped me with the plot, he ain't a fking God. He is just my Plot Architect... "
He stopped and continued, "Well he was... "
"What do you mean was?", I asked. That guy was the one that brought me to this world. So yeah, I was a bit concerned about him. And that guy looked God like. This one looks like a malnourished RDJ.
"Listen here you bitch. I can hear whatever you are thinking. And what do you mean malnourished? I am just on a diet. The only reason I am not going any further is because you compared me with RDJ. Hehehe.. ", he spoke in a threatening way. But by the end it wasn't the words that made me feel threatened. It was his laugh.
Crazy..
"Well anyways.. ", he started while rubbing his palms.
"That plot advisor bastard was making the plot as if this story belonged to his dad. He was getting on my nerve. Fk, even my readers found the plot weird. Do you know how hard it is to build a reader base. Even my patreon is loosing readers. And I have no idea why none of my readers are bring others. I mean word of mouth does work. I am on the verge of getting bankrupt. Even the power of my glasses has gone up. Do you know how happy I was when I received the first pay from my patreon. I was on the seventh heaven. Then.. That mother fker decided to fill the story with plot holes. He gave you dumb restricted powers. He gave you weird fking powers, and let me ask you the truth, did you ever truly use them for the plot? Obviously not.... Blah blah blah blah.."
"Uh.. ", I couldn't help but become blank when I heard his words. What is this? Some sort of joke? And what the hell is a patreon?
"Well. My condolences God man. Sometimes people are selfish. You cannot force readers for bringing others or doing promotions on your behalf. And what the fk was your plan to bring me here?"
The guy smiled looking at me. He was grinning and his teeth was so white that it almost blinded me.
"I have decided to do a great fking makeover. Hahahaha. "
"Makeover?? Don't mind me, but can you explain that?", I asked dumbfoundedly.
"The world is gonna get reset. "
"What? Why? I had done a lot of work on this world. I ... What the fk man?", I yelled at him.
You see. Screaming at a god is something you can be proud of. But what you shouldn't be is what happens next.
The God guy waved a hand at me and a whip made of lightning and fire came at me and got hold of my leg. Then I was lifted off the ground and smashed on the floor.
"Fk. ", I groaned.
The God guy said, "You see man. I don't want to beat you around. But you have to understand this that this world needs a makeover. Do you want to have a fight with homelander that never ends? Didn't you notice that you have been teasing homelander about drinking milk and his response is kinda same all the time? And most importantly did you forget that girl. She died because of you. You have the chance to make her... What is the word. Oh yeah undead? No. That's necro shit. Yep, Alive. She would be alive. Won't that be great. The system is weird too. Why not give you a better system. With a good mission tasks manager? That's a win win situation for you, right? "
"What did you say? You can make Valerie live again?", I asked him.
"Obviously I can. Only I can do that. Because I am the true God of this world. I can make her alive. I can just reverse the time. You would remember everything though. The only downside is that, others in the world would forget about you. That Anne girl, Maeve everyone will forget you. Even Valerie would. That's the only downside. "
But she would be alive. Wasn't that what I want?
"Ok. You can do it. ", I spoke with firm eyes.
"I feel like I am a villain to break this bubble. But here's the thing, I wasn't asking you for a opinion. I am just saying this to you. I have to wipe up the shit my ex plot Architect has spread in this world. You would be back to the start of the plot though. And you would have a new major mission. That would be a fking fire though. I am sure everyone would enjoy that. Hahahaha. "
I felt chills on my spine hearing him laugh.
"Oh before I make that do. Why don't you ask the readers to join the patreon? I am sure many would listen to you. ", God guy spoke.
I nodded and asked , "Where should I look at?"
The God guy slapped his palm on his face and said, "What do you think this is? A live stream? You can speak. They can only hear you. Not watch you. You get it?"
I nodded and said with a smile I thought was charismatic, "People. I know you are quite troubled over the plot. But I think you have heard what the God guy has said. It isn't because he is slacking. He just doesn't have someone responsible with him. So now is the time for us to be responsible. Why not we work hard a little? I would be the best person for this world. And you be the best reader. Spread the word of mouth and bring readers. Ask new readers to join the authors patron?? "
"It's Patreon. ", The God guy spoke.
"Thanks. Yes, join his patreon. Be active on the comments. I don't know. Boost this wherever it is. Is this a novel??"
The God guy nodded and said, "Yep."
I continued, "Well show your love there too. That'd be good, right?"