The voice was inside Leora's head. Lucian couldn't hear them, couldn't understand the battle raging within her, the dark whispers that sought to undermine her very being.
Lucian came out of the bushes. Rustle! He thought, Man, that was dangerous. He understood Leora's frustration. Losing to someone who always slacked off was a huge blow to her ego and pride. But he also sensed something more, a deeper turmoil that went beyond a simple bruised ego. He thought, I guess I'll have to help her regain her confidence, slowly. And figure out what's going on.
Lucian saw Leora standing in the middle of the training area, dazed. Her blue eyes were dim, and she was muttering something. "No... I want to live... My pride... doesn't reach... the sky." Her words were fragmented, a desperate mantra against the darkness that threatened to engulf her.
Lucian walked over, thinking.
Before he could speak, Leora's eyes regained their light. She looked at Lucian, filled with guilt and a mix of emotions too complex to describe.
She always wanted to rest, and wanted a shoulder to cry on, a moment of vulnerability she rarely allowed herself. But she always held back, because she was always better than Lucian but Today, she didn't care. The walls she had so carefully constructed around her heart crumbled, revealing the raw vulnerability beneath.
Today she expressed all of the sadness she had hidden in the deepest part of her heart.
Leora, her face streaked with tears, she reached out to Lucian. Her hands trembled as she clutched at his tunic, pulling him into a desperate hug. A sob escaped her lips, raw and broken. "I'm sorry, brother," she choked out, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I didn't mean any of that. I don't know what's happening to me. Lately... how can I explain this madness? That voice... it says such crazy things."
She took a short breath her face red and tears flowing from her eyes endlessly "I felt the same helplessness as when I was carrying you, trying to protect you. I don't know what's going on inside my head. Please, let me be alone today. You should go and rest. We'll train again tomorrow."
When Lucian saw Leora's sad, crying face, a painful memory flashed in his mind. A wave of protectiveness, so fierce it was almost a physical ache, washed over him. His heart clenched, mirroring the pain in her eyes. He remembered another time, another place, where he had failed to protect someone, he cared about, and the guilt of that failure still haunted his dreams.
...
Rain poured down. Pat! Pat! Pat! Wind howled. Whoosh!
The moon was hidden behind dark clouds. It was night.
Kai stood on the roof of a tall building; his hair whipped by the wind.
He looked depressed and sad. He remembered the dead body of a silver-haired woman. His heart ached, as if stabbed by a thousand needles.
"You took care of us orphans," he said, tears mixing with the rain. "How can I face Jugo, Alina, and Albert."
He took a deep breath. "Even I can't forgive myself. How could they forgive me? To them, I was long dead. And now that I've returned, all I brought back was your dead body."
"I'm sorry, Mom. You always said only cowards commit suicide. I guess I'm a coward, a very big coward. Goodbye everyone, Goodbye Jugo. You all must hate me for being such a coward."
...
He snapped back to the present. Gasp! He thought, why did that memory appear? Because Leora's face reminds me of her? The realization sent a shiver down his spine, a cold dread that tightened his chest.
He looked at Leora and shook his head. Tch. A wave of dizziness washed over him, and his breath hitched in his throat. He forced a dismissive tone in his thoughts.
Was it because of Kai's previous life memories or the depth of Lucian's love for his sister? Every time he saw Leora cry, it felt as if his very soul was being unraveled. Her tears pierced him like sharp arrows, each one driving deeper, a relentless storm inside him. His heart bled with every sob, as if a thousand blades were slicing through him, each cut a mirror of the agony she felt. He couldn't bear to see her in pain,
Lucian felt like he could bear anything in this world but could not bear seeing her in tears. This showed how much old Lucian was obsessed with Leora.
Before Lucian could even realize, tears were streaming down from his eyes too.
At that moment mechanical sound of System appeared in his mind "Warning! Host, you are showing the signs of Depression and suicidal thoughts, which may cause huge problem in this world from the data I have observed."
Lucian returned to his senses. Lucian was shocked from how easily he fell into this depressive thoughts.
Lucian took a deep breath and thought, this is not time for me to get depressed but to console her.
Lucian laughed and started stretching his arms hiding his sadness and pain he said "Don't worry, sister. I'm fine. You're probably just exhausted. You should rest."
Leora shook her head, her voice heavy with sorrow. "But every time I try to rest, the memories claw their way back. The image of Dad's lifeless eyes, Uncle's mutilated body... the girls' screams echoing in the night, and especially Mom... her silent, broken form. I couldn't sleep last night; every time I closed my eyes, I relived it. It's too much to bear alone."
Leora's looked at Lucian, her voice trembling with despair. "Am I really a burden? Should I just die?"
Her words felt like a stone dropped into the depths of Lucian's chest, sending ripples of pain through his very core. He reached for her, his hand resting gently on her head, as though trying to anchor her to the world, to him.
"No," he whispered, his voice raw, like a rope fraying at the edges. "If you ever even think of dying, I will never forgive you." His words were like a shield, though it trembled in the face of her pain. "Leora, listen to me—I won't be the one to destroy Hakon. You will. You must. You are the storm that will bring him to his knees. Don't you see? You're stronger than you think."
In that moment, his touch was the only string holding her together, and his voice, the one thread she had left to cling to. Their bond—fragile yet unbreakable—hung between them, a silent promise that no matter how fierce the storm, they would face it side by side.
Lucian took a long breath and thought, why is she having suicidal thought?Is this some kind of trauma? Because of that horrible incident..., she was almost about to get raped. This must be trauma. But I'm no psychiatrist. And I doubt I can find any in Norlandia. He frowned, a knot of worry tightening in his stomach. He had to help her, somehow.
He was about to comfort Leora when an idea popped into his head.
He thought, hey, System, can you guide me on how to help her with trauma? Can you act like a psychiatrist?
The System's emotionless voice echoed in his mind. "I can. But I don't think this is just stress from your family's incident. Those are just triggers. There's something else affecting her mental state, from what I've observed and from your memories."
Lucian asked, "What's the root cause, then?"
The System replied, "I believe it's because of magic, or something related to it. But I need your permission to scan your body and understand magic and how it works to provide sufficient result."
Lucian hesitated. "Isn't there enough information in my past memories?"
The System answered, "There is some information, but your family were only lower nobles. They may have been given wrong or incomplete information by the kingdom."
Lucian nodded. "Okay, start the scan."
The System said, "I recommend doing it at night."
"Night?" Lucian asked.
The System said, "Yes, user. In the meantime, I suggest you to explore the city and discover this new world."
Lucian said, "Okay."
Leora put her hand on Lucian's head and smiled weakly. "Are you okay? You're mumbling something."
Seeing Leora smile, Lucian was taken aback. The sudden shift from despair to a fragile smile was unsettling.
Lucian thought, these mood swings are terrifying. One moment she's crying, the next she's trying to smile. She needs help, and fast, or I'm afraid she might do something drastic. I can't leave her alone in this state.
He thought, System is right, the root cause might really be magic because I have not seen this type of mental patient in my past life.
Lucian replied, trying to sound casual, "I'm fine. You should focus on training. I'll just take a short walk around the city to clear my head."
Leora nodded and told him to be back soon and started training normally.
Nobody will believe if someone said she was going to commit suicide just now if not for Lucian.
Lucian went to Ylva and said seriously, "Go stay with my sister and never leave her alone. Stay by her side all the time."
Ylva nodded. "Anything else, sir?"
Ylva was not a normal house worker. She was also well-trained and understood people's needs, especially the delicate balance of emotions and duty.
Lucian's voice cracked with a barely suppressed tremor. He leaned closer to Ylva, his eyes pleading. "Also, talk to her. Cheer her up. Make her feel better. Try to distract her from whatever is troubling her, but be subtle. Don't push her, but let her know you're there for her. And Ylva," he added, his voice firm, laced with a hint of desperation, "if anything seems amiss, anything at all, you inform me immediately. I'm entrusting her to you."
He couldn't leave Leora alone. What if she made a bad decision? Lucian knew about these kinds of situations; he had experienced them himself, the darkness that could creep into the mind and twist it into something unrecognizable. He wouldn't let that happen to his sister.