"Is everyone okay?" I asked when all four of us fell on a cold, filthy, floor made of gray stone.
"W-where are we?" asked Lycan who looked around the bare surrounding.
It was a circular room with nothing inside but a rickety bed at the center, a small trunk by a closed door, and a small desk and wooden chair beneath a single window barred with rusted iron.
"This is my sanctuary."
I rose and held my hand towards Darius who stared blankly at the wall.
"Are you okay, Darius?"
His eyes seem to focus at me, then at my hand which he took to stand up next to me.
"I am okay," he replied in a soft voice.
I took him in my arms then and cried.
I cried so hard I found it difficult to breath. I sobbed so much that I was soon shaking in his arms. Through it all, Darius stood still and patted my back repeatedly.
"I-is this your old room, Patrick?" Lycan asked.
He had walked over to my old hardwood table with Cat next to him and saw some books neatly stacked on one side.
"I-is it okay for us to stay here?" he asked again.
"You're correct, this is my old room," I replied between sobs, "it hasn't changed since the day I left for the academy..."
Lycan's good eye widened.
"I-is this all you own?" he inquired.
"Yes, the rest I packed with me to the academy."
"But, aren't we only allowed one trunk to take with us?" he sounded surprised.
I gave him a sad smile. "I was quite neglected as a child."
I pulled Darwin towards the wooden bed and arranged the thin folded blanket for him to sit on.
"We should rest there for a while and think of our next steps," I told them. "Are you hurting anywhere?" I asked Darius
"No."
I looked worriedly at the filthy undershirt he wore.
The 'revert' spell worked marvelously. There wasn't even a sign of damage on his skin, but the filth and the blood still remained, and it infuriated me. Particularly the dried blood between his thighs.
I sigh and pulled out an empty basin from beneath the bed.
"The baths are in the main house which is quite far from this tower where I stay, so we would need to make do with this for now."
I called for the element of water, and heating it up with a flame, took a worn washcloth from the trunk and started cleaning Darius. He simply sat there, staring at me as I wiped the grime off his body.
"Are you feeling bewildered?" I asked him. "Are you wondering what happened?"
Darius kept silently staring at me, then reached out to touch my face. I was surprised to notice that there was more flesh where my cheekbone used to be.
"You look better."
"I guess the mana spell had some rejuvenating effects," I replied with a smile. "And you?"
"I told you to run..." he whispered. "There is a blank space in my memory... and then..."
"You were..." I paused, lost for words to explain what happened. "You were struck down... You were out for a while, until I used the 'revert' spell on you."
I waited for him to reply, or at least, for his expression to change, yet he remained silent and seated and staring at me.
"Do you understand what I said, Darius?"
"Yes, Patrick," he simply replied in the same soft voice.
I was about to ask him again how he feels, when Lycan called my name.
"Pat..."
I turned to his direction and saw him holding Cat's shoulders, looking at his friend with a worried expression on his scarred face.
"I-I think there's s-something wrong with Cat..."
I approached them and looked at Cat who looked back at me.
It was the same old Cat with his golden curls and blue eyes. The same innocent expression on his angelic face.
"What seems to be the problem?" I asked Lycan. "Cat seems to be just fine."
"He's quiet."
"Yes?" I frowned at him, expecting him to tell me more.
"T-that's it," Lycan went on, his eyes filling with tears. "H-he's too quiet."
I stared back at Cat.
"Cat, are you feeling fine?"
"Yes, Patrick," he replied.
"Are you hurt anywhere?"
"No, Patrick."
"Any inconvenience on your chest?"
"No, Patrick," he replied once more, his unblinking eyes locked to mine, his face still and unwavering.
I looked back at Darius, his face now clean of blood and filth.
He stared back at me the same way.
The straight gaze of a beautiful doll, devoid of any emotion.
An empty doll bereft of a human soul.
"No..." I mumbled as the fact suddenly dawned on me.
I sat next to Darius and held his face in my shaking hands.
"W-what have I done?!" I began to wail.
"W-what's wrong with him, Patrick?" came Lycan's worried voice. "It's Cat... but it doesn't feel like Cat at all..."
"It's all my fault..." I confessed. "I didn't know what the spell could do to the living!"
"W-what do you mean?"
"The revert spell... I have only ever used it on broken objects, but never on a person... never on a being with a soul!"
"It hurts."
I look at Darius whom I was holding tightly in my arms.
"I-I'm sorry..." I loosen my grip and end up crying on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry..." I beseech him. "I'm so sorry, Darius... Cat... I never should have used such a spell on you..."
"Why?"
I looked up at Darius who stared at me with his head slightly tilted to the side.
"Why are you asking for forgiveness?"
I couldn't find the words to answer him.
"You have saved me," he went on. "You have brought me back from the dead. Why do you say sorry?"
"D-Darius...?" I stared at him. "I-is it... still you?"
"Who else would I be if not me?" he replied. "I am still Darius, as Cat is still Cathan."
"Isn't being alive better than not existing at all?" Cat asked in his childish voice, yet the curiosity, the liveliness in his voice was now gone.
"I-it is so much better!" Lycan hurriedly replied. "There's no reason to be sorry, no reason to blame yourself! You saved Cat, and that's all that matters!"
Lycan knelt in front of me and prostrated himself at my feet.
"I'm forever t-thankful to you, Lord Patrick," he cried, "E-everything is good, as long as I have Cat with me... a-as long as the two of us are together!"
He looked up at me, pleading, compelling me to believe that what I did was right.
I can hear the anguish in his voice and see the desperation in his eyes, yet the thought that I have lost the Darius and the Cathan I have known and loved sent a stabbing pain to my guilty heart.
"Patrick, there's no reason to be sad," Darius held my hand. "You have not lost us. We are safe now, and we're together. That is all that matters."
He came closer and leaned on my chest with a sigh, like he used to do when we hold each other at night.
All I could do was hold him tight in my arms.
Sobbing.
Whimpering.
Wondering, if this truly was much better than not existing at all.
- Book 1 ends -
Book 2 follows