Note: This chapter contains strong language in a fictional language and English, mentions of genitalia and blood, assumptions of another's gender, and thoughts of body dysphoria and guilting oneself. Please proceed with caution.
Sol sat outside the schoolhouse, still angry. The kid was a fucking henerve, and as far as she was concerned, he had a right to be mad.
But he wouldn't get a moment alone. Eyes were watching him from every corner, men, women, and children alike, but there was one group of men who watched her for a good minute before making their presence known.
"There he is!" one shouted.
The men had just shown themselves from around the corner when Sol was pushed to the ground and dragged across the rocks and grass towards a line of men in front of a building. Someone was dragging her feet and someone else picked up his arms, hoisting him up as she screamed. He saw Planet run after whoever was holding Sol, yelling in their first language and Elven to drop him, but she was pushed back into the schoolhouse.
"Let go of me!" he yelled, squirming in their grasp, trying to rid that ugly feeling. "Drop me now! I have no business with you!"
Everything went by in a flash and the citizens watched as they made their way to a desk with a chair next to it, where Sol was pushed into the chair and his arms were bound by rope to the edges.
"What are you doing?" she asked, struggling against it.
Don't think of it, don't think of it, don't think of it. That was a mantra in her head, begging Sol not to shift forms. He'd be treated worse for it.
The man next to him was sitting behind the desk, clearing his throat. "War is on the horizon, boy. You must know the rules. All men aged under sixty-two years of age are eligible to be conscripted to war-"
"Well, that's your first mistake." Sol interrupted, finding two flaws in that plan. She has been alive for well over sixty-two years and, according to the mentor, was classified as female. But it was better for them not to know the first point.
The man blinked and looked at her. "Excuse me, boy?"
"I'm a girl. I don't know what made you think I'm a boy, but I am a girl. I just have a flatter chest because I've just started…development." Sol lowered himself on the chair and hooked a thumb into his waistband. "Would you like me to prove it?"
The man flushed red and shook his head furiously, burying himself in more of the gritty parchment. A few others also looked uncomfortable with the thought, though there were a few drunken cheers in the crowd.
The rope was taken off of Sol and placed on the chair again before he was shoved back towards the direction of the schoolhouse, not a single apology coming from anyone.
A woman holding a man's arm tapped Sol's shoulder as they passed. "What a horrible display. If you would like, I can lead you back-"
"Don't believe a word that this whore says." the man she was hanging off of snapped. "She'd lead you to a cliff instead."
"I'm simply trying to care for the child."
"Says you."
Their voices raised in a shouting match and Sol quickly walked away from them. After a few minutes of wandering in circles, she found Planet's footsteps back to the schoolhouse and discovered it around the corner. Planet was still sitting just beyond the door, trying to push past the two adults that blocked it.
"You don't understand! I can't have So- Auizia far away from me! I can't lose her!"
"You pronounced my name wrong," Sol said, ducking under the arm of one of the men and into the house.
"Where did they take you, boy?" the tutor ordered.
"Will you stop calling me that?" she snapped as the other students quieted. "Some men assumed I was a boy due to these." He gestured towards his chest. "I told them I'm a girl and they let me go. I don't know where they took me. Once again, I've barely been here for two days. I can't memorize a town's layout within that time."
That was a lie. The three of them had become quite proficient in that skill in recent decades, with their constant moving. They just hadn't come across enough maps in the past few days to test that skill yet.
"Was it that large line outside of the goldsmiths and shoemakers?" a boy asked.
Sol shrugged. "Sure, kid."
The tutor clapped his hands when he heard chatter. "Quiet down, everyone! The line will not affect your studies! Back to work!"
Sol tried to be present for the rest of the day and dug his nails into her thigh when she got too angry at the kid. After an hour, he had her and Planet switch seats to help other students. Sweater Girl was quieter and had a better understanding of Elven grammar, but Sol couldn't shake off the stares from everyone else in the building as they kept trying to reel from the incident.
The rest of the day went by in a blur. Saying goodbye, walking back to the man's shop with Planet, heading straight to the hayroom and curling into a ball on it, holding back tears like he'd held back the pain.
I hate this. he thought, holding his flat chest. I hate this body, I hate this gender, I hate how it won't let me choose. I hate how this body can confuse everyone who looks at it. Adults, mentors, and even me.
It'll only get worse with age. His voice reminded her.
You'll get the worst of two evils during development.
You've seen the men with their hair and the women with their blood.
You'll never get to choose.
You'll never get to choose.
You'll never get to choose.
She repeated it once more for good measure: You. Will never. Get. To choose.
Sol turned on his back, looking at Moon next to him. "Can you believe this? I had to rely on my vagina to get out of war. I pray you can't get in, either."
Who was he kidding? According to the tutor, Moon was the only one out of the three of them that was classified as male because he owned a penis and breasts. Of course, he was going to war. Of course, he and Planet would be left behind. Of course. It's what he did every night, wasn't it? Leave them behind "to explore"? What was even there to explore? More of Planet's arm?
"Fuck this," Sol muttered, turning away from him. "I wish there was a third option to identify as. Then I probably won't feel like such an outside man. Then I might feel better for once."