I experience Growth, Liars, and terrible load times.
During my time cleaning, I realized three things.
First: blood, mud, and pee weren't that hard to clean. They didn't even soak into the wood, which practically repelled any gunk that tried to hold onto the grains. Grandpa always knew quality.
Second: the remains of the monster's bodies outside dissolved into fractals of light. I noticed this during my repetitive trips to the pump. The monsters didn't dissolve instantly, but the bodies were mostly gone by my third trip.
Third: I was getting fatter.
Now, on my notoriously heavy body, this is usually hard to tell. My overall size is large enough that an extra twenty pounds just disappears into the circumference. Usually, I measure by how tight my pants are (since I stopped being able to see the scale years ago). But it seemed that my pants had stretched as well. I really started to notice when the sides of my stomach were brushing the edges of the doorframe.
But I was exhausted, so I decided to investigate this latest phenomenon at a better time. Tomorrow, for instance.
The next morning, I stood in the bedroom doorframe, the clean floor sparkling behind me as I said "Actually, I think the house might be getting smaller."
I reached up, grasping the top of the doorframe and all the dust that came with it. It seemed to be closer than before. I had stopped measuring my height against things years ago since all my growth seemed horizontally inclined at the time. I was short, with a hump and severe scoliosis. Life had literally bent me double, and so everything was taller than me. I had never touched the top of a doorframe, yet now it felt firmly filthy beneath my fingers.
And it was only a few inches above my head.
"That's strange," I said, grinning and giddy with disbelief, "Could I be growing?"
What a ridiculous idea. There was no way that I would be growing that quickly. But the idea of the house shrinking…
I never had claustrophobia before, but now the threat of the house shrinking was making my chest feel tight.
"This is fouled up," I said, "This is some Alice in Wonderland crap. There's got to be a potion that shrinks me back down."
Unfortunately, a quick and panic-awakening search revealed that the other potions were mostly boosts. Speed boosts seemed to be the most common. Though I wasn't actively inventorying it, I got the sense that there were over twenty boost bottles in the small space. Finally, I found a bottle that looked promising.
-Escape Potion- Lets you change shape.-
"All right," I said, "This is probably enough. I wish I had something to carry it in, though."
Eventually, I decided to put the potion bottle just inside the door. That way if I got stuck outside or inside I would be able to get where I needed to be. And I would be able to use it to fit into the portal again in an emergency.
Now fully awake and hitting my second (or 50th) wind, I realized that I was beyond hungry. It wasn't time for sleep! My stomach started to twist painfully, and I went hunting for something edible. The property was the size of a couple of football fields, and most of it was around the back of the house. The Land sprawled within a white-picket fence, acres of ground covered in a practical jungle of overgrowth. The significantly bigger brother of the backyard back home.
"Well then," I said, "I'm definitely not in a desert. Probably nothing edible, though."
However, I was finally pleasantly surprised. My Analyze Skill was constantly identifying the plants as edible, even ones that looked like weeds. I ended up pulling something large and rough out of the ground, hoping for a potato.
-Root Vegetable Cassava - Edible*-
"I wonder what that asterisk is about?" I said, then tried to poke the asterisk. The screen buzzed and an error window popped up.
-Analyze skill must be Level Two for information regarding the Cassava Root.-
"Not going to make this easy, eh Grandpa?" I said, looking around the screen for links or other texts, "How do I level the skill up?"
My skill list didn't have any other information, and neither did the Analyze Skill itself. However, as I scrolled through the list of skills I found several with a flashing 'NEW' box over where the text should be. I tapped one and the 'NEW' box flashed and faded to reveal the skill.
-Mobility Skill - Slip and Slide: Level 1-
"What the-" I opened the description, "Allows for improved control while sliding on slippery surfaces- Did I earn this? Just now? When I was sliding around to get Grandpa's spear? I…what a weird way to earn skills."
That skill had been useful, although I doubted that I'd use it again.
What about this one-?"
I pressed another skill and the flashing 'NEW' box disappeared.
Mobility Skill - Interception Ride: Level 1
I opened the description and said "'Allows the user to ride on the attack of a Huge or larger creature without taking damage-' So basically jumping on swinging swords and stuff? Did I- yes. It must be how I survived getting hit by that Giant's club. Let's see… 'The chance of success improves with more levels-' what did it mean by 'chance of success'?! How am I supposed to level that up 'through experiences' when I might die in the process?! And it won't even tell me the odds!"
I rubbed my eyes and looked around the wild growths for somewhere to sit, which there wasn't. Not without finding an errant thorn in a hard place to reach. Sighing, I grabbed the Cassava and a few other plants I had found and brought them back to the house. I could explore the rest after dinner.
****
Grandpa had left me several rolls of aluminum foil. No cans of food, but a lot of aluminum foil. I used it to wrap the washed Cassava and put it into the fire to cook with the other vegetables. I found salt and pepper in the cupboard, and some plates and utensils in the drawers. This root couldn't be that bad. It looked…potato-ish. Maybe I should have spiced it before sticking in the fire to cook.
After about thirty minutes I stabbed the Cassava and found that it was still hard. An hour more in the fire and I gave up waiting for it to be soft. The skin came off with the foil, revealing the stiff white flesh beneath. Relishing my new teeth, I tore into it.
"Ugh," I said, spitting out my bite, "It's bitter."
Still, my stomach was roaring from the previous day's excessive exercise and fasting. Bitter was good for you, wasn't it? I salted it and opened my skill menu, scrolling through the new abilities as I ate.
Some were exciting but basic, Super Jumps and Super Speed stuff. Although, those were called Terror Jump and Terror Speed so it wasn't as cool sounding. Then there were some odd ones.
-Special Ability - Chair Destruction: Level 1-
-Increased chance to Crit. during escape attempts by destroying the chair while restrained.-
"That's too specific!" I said around a mouthful of vile bitterness, a headache starting to form, "And the chair was stuck, not restraining me."
I sat back and rubbed my forehead. Maybe I was having trouble adjusting to things here, but my stomach was getting nauseated. A headache was forming. My abdomen was starting to hurt as well.
Plague sores, I thought, I should drink some water. I'm getting dehydrated.
I closed the skill window and saw that another window had opened. A window which had been hiding behind my skills menu.
I said, "Wha-"
-Shun Mi — Health 14/15 _ Poisoned Status -1 hp every minute.-
"Are you kidding me!?" I stared at the poisoned condition, "What? How?"
I looked down at my food and Analyzed it.
-Mysterious Mash - Inedible. Poisonous.-
"It was you?!" I spat my mouthful back and pushed the plate away. It skidded across the table and fell to the ground as I stood up horrified. A different-sounding ding rang in my head.
The healing potion! I scrambled to the cabinet, watching another HP tick away as I unscrewed the lid. My face puckered involuntarily and I just managed to swallow. My health refilled.
"All right," I said, standing, "That sucked. I wonder why? It said it was edible! What kind of analyzer was this??"
The half of the cassava root I didn't eat lay guilty on the counter when I returned from emptying my tortured gut. I glared balefully at its innocent, potato-like coloring. Liar.
"Analyze it properly this time," I said, "Or I frickin' swear that I wi-"
The pop-up menu had added text. Below the description of Cassava was a paragraph starting with an asterisk in small text. I moved the screen close to my face and squinted.
"Warning," I read, "Wild Cassava must be boiled thoroughly and the water discarded before it is ready to eat. Do this at least twice for safe consum- YOU COULD HAVE SAID THIS EARLIER!"
I frowned. Didn't the Analyze skill need to be Level 2 for more information on Cassava?
"Let's see if I got anything out of this." I said, irritated, "It better have- oh thank goodness!"
-Skill - Analyze Properties - Level 2: Activated-
"Oh yes!" I sagged to my knees, empty belly touching the ground, "Woot! It went up."
I got up, exhausted and starving. What little I had kept down churned uncertainly in my stomach. It shouldn't keep poisoning me, right? Or…did healing potions actually stop poison? That wouldn't make sense if it did. I checked my status again.
-Shun Mi — Health 14/15 _ Poisoned Status -1 hp every minute.-
"I figured," I sighed, "Okay. Let me see if I can find anything."
I went through the jars again and found one I had seen earlier. Analyze said it was an antidote. Did antidotes work like that? It wasn't like I had another choice. It was either try this or ride the rest of this misery out.
It tasted like ash, bitter and dry despite being a liquid. The poisoned condition disappeared and I sighed in relief, then eyed my health.
-Shun Mi — Health 13/15-
"Close enough," I said, still starving despite my tender stomach "Now, what am I going to eat?"
The Clock loomed, tempting. It had become a door before. Could I just peek my head out through it? I probably couldn't get through the door anyway, not with as big as I was growing. Still, Grandpa liked to keep MREs and other instant foods in his study and there might be some by the door. Now that I thought about that, it was probably as food backup for this world.
I'll just pop my head through, I thought, What harm could it do?
-Are You Sure You Want To Leave? Y/N-
"Just for a tiny bit," I said, finger hovering, "I'm not going all the way through so you don't shut on me."
I pressed yes, feeling my heart beat with the treachery. I was determined not to leave, but I wanted to see if there was any food on the other side. Just to make it easier on myself.
There was a deep ding and a buzz, then another window appeared in front of me.
-Error. Cannot open worlds_door_5 without completing the Inheritance file transfer. Please check the transfer status.-
"What?" I said, "Inheritance? Check transfer status?"
Another window popped up with a loading bar and that woman's voice sounded in my ear.
It said, "Transfer status ongoing: nine percent complete."
I stared at the loading bar. To compare its progress to a candy bar, this one was less than 'fun-size'. A disappointing amount, and nothing compared to the 'king-size' I'd been hoping for.
My stomach growled again.
"All right," I said, closing the window and placing a hand on the clock, "I get what you're saying, Grandpa."
I groaned and grinned and wished for a picture of my Grandpa so I could look him in the eyes as I said, "I gotta work hard to get back to 'easy modern life' as you loved to call it. I need to fully 'inherit' everything you left for me here. Here, where the going is tough. This really won't be easy, will it?"
I laughed, a bit manically, and turned my back on the easy way out. For the first time in my life, there was nothing else I could do. No food to stress eat, no one to push me down and kick me in the teeth, not a cutting word to sap my energy for the day. No well-meaning excuses to keep me from going the distance. Nothing to hold me back. I had three months before school started again, if I was going back to school at all.
So I grinned with my fresh new teeth and laughed, pounding my fists together as I felt goosebumps race down my arms. This was the chance of a thousand lifetimes.
"Challenge accepted Grandpa! I'm going to do it! Even if it kills me!"
END of A New Life ARC