Arian sighed. It really seemed like he was never free of problems.
He turned his head back and continued to stare at the ceiling. He enjoyed the quietness between his personal maid and himself.
He knew they had a lot to talk about, but before that, he had to gather his thoughts.
Without considering the bigger picture, he couldn't stumble headfirst into such a meaningful conversation.
Arian didn't want to embarrass himself like he did the last time he talked with Marie, when he just let his emotions tumble over. A fatal mistake for a prince who was taught since he was little to stay calm and collected in every situation.
Arian remembered how easy it was back then, before he had turned paraplegic and lost his beast, when he was still considered the crown prince.
Back then, such showcases of emotion were unthinkable.
It disgusted him that he had grown so weak.
It seemed like he had unlearned so many essentials of royal behaviour.
He wanted to write it off, that this was just the case because right now he was so far removed from the royal court and all the important people of the empire, but at the same time he felt... irresponsible.
Because he allowed his perfect image to crumble.
Wasn't that... dumb?
Arian despised himself for behaving the way he did lately, for not getting his act together. But at the same time... he felt like he didn't have the energy to care at the moment.
What he had done was in the past; he couldn't undo it. Instead, he could only correct the mistakes he had made.
Like the talk with Marie yesterday. He simply approached the topic with his child wrongly.
Yesterday, I only thought about myself and how the child would be a problem for ME. I failed to consider my siblings.
They would have a much bigger problem with Arian's child than he himself. After all, it would be another threat to their claim for the throne.
Most likely, they would want to get rid of it as well.
Maybe some of them even plan to kill it already, Arian thought, and strangely found that thought calming.
If this is the case, then I only have to ensure that they succeed. I don't have to get my own hands dirty.
Arian knew he shouldn't think that way, that this was wrong and maybe even disgusting. But at the same time, he couldn't stop his thoughts.
He was aware he should welcome a child, a heir. Someone who could inherit his legacy. After all, this was what the royal family was all about- to continue their divine bloodline.
As the only descendants of the gods, it was their first and utmost priority.
Who was he to go against it? Especially when he wanted to become emperor himself.
Arian knew this was a contradiction in his logic. He knew it was important for an emperor to have as many heirs as possible and yet...
The thought of having a child frightened him.
There was no other way to describe it.
Arian took a deep breath. His decision was final.
He would proceed with the plan of eliminating a possible child.
So he started contemplating which of his siblings were most likely to kill his child.
Twelve siblings were a lot, but by default, Arian could start by ruling out his five youngest siblings, because they were younger than thirteen. This meant, they weren't old enough to have real influence in the power struggle for the throne. Of course, they had advisors and servants at their backs who might be ambitious, but even then...
Expecting a thread from them was unlikely.
Actually, Arian could narrow it down to five siblings he should keep an eye on.
The first one was the oldest and firstborn of his father's children: Prince Oriel.
He would have been crownprince instead of Arian would he not have been a bastard and sired upon a common whore.
This fact alone made him jealous and wary of Arian, which meant that Arian knew very little about him.
Even though they rarely met, there had always been some distance and waryness between them.
All this resulted in Arian having very little knowledge about Oriel. The prince only knew his brother was a great army commander and had led the conquest of the very area Arian was currently living in.
Thanks to him, the district, to which the red dessert belonged, was now part of the empire, and its people didn't have to live in fear of wild beasts anymore.
But in order to keep it as a part of the empire, he had married the oldest daughter of the Tenno, the former ruler of this land.
Even though the marriage had been four years ago, his brother hadn't returned to court for more than a week, deciding to stay at the Tenno's palace instead.
Because he was so far removed from court, Arian doubted he would pose a threat to his child, who was far away in the capital.
Oriel lives much closer to me than to my potential child. If he truly wants to hurt me, he would attack me directly.
Similar to Oriel, his older bastard sister as well as his younger legitimate twin siblings all got married away, which diminished their influence at court significantly.
So they won't pose a threat to my child either.
Which left two bastard brothers and one legitimate sister for Arian to look out for.
Arian nodded mentally and turned his attention back to Marie.
"Stay for a while," he mumbled. And after a short pause, he even added a "please."
Marie raised her eyebrows. "Is there something you wish to discuss with me, my prince?"
She sounded polite, but there was an unusual harshness in her tone. She's still angry with me.
Arian made an effort to make his voice sound sympathetic.
"I would like to apologize for the things I said yesterday. I overstepped a line there. Even though I am the prince... I was too emotional. And I asked too much of you. To play assassin is not your job, and I should have never expected it from you. So, I am truly sorry."
"Furthermore, I panicked when you told me I could have a child, and made a rushed and unreasonable harsh decision. I should have known better, done better... I admit I was wrong. I don't want to kill my potential child anymore."
At least not personally, Arian added in his mind.
"So, instead of playing assassin. I would like you to play spy."
When Marie opened her mouth in protest, Arian cut her off.
"I know, that is officially not in your field of profession as well, but let's be honest, it's why my mother hired you as her maid beforehand. And now that she's dead, I simply ask of you to provide me with the same services she entrusted you with," Arian explained, reminding Marie of the real reason she served the royal family.
Normally, handmaidens serving the royal family were all from very influential noble families. Marie was an oddity amongst them, as her family had fallen out of nobility due to her family being in debt.
The only reason Arian's mother chose Marie as her personal maid was because Marie had bonded with an exceptionally powerful and rare beast- a Barghest.
A beast that possessed the powers of turning invisible, traveling with incredible speed, and moving through objects.
And even though Marie's Barghest hadn't unlocked her full potential, she still made a master spy.
And just as Arian thought so, the air next to Marie rippled, and out of nowhere an oversized black dog with eerie red eyes and unusually large front paws appeared.
She rubbed her nose gently against Marie before looking at Arian with questioning eyes.
Marie did just the same. "Okay, what would you like to know?", she asked.
"I would like to get more information on my two brothers, Prince Meeka and Prince Einar and my sister, Princess Ongelle. You know, I'm interested in everything about them, but especially in their political interests at the moment. As well as the general state of the court. If there is anything noteworthy, tell me. I give you two weeks for this mission."
The Barghest nodded her head, as if she understood every word Arian said. She licked Marie's cheek as if kissing her goodbye, before she turned invisible again.
After her beast was gone, Marie met Arian with a curious look. "Why are you suddenly interested in those three siblings of yours, my prince?"
"Because they pose the biggest threat to my claim to the throne. I need to know if they plan to get rid of me. Now that I'm so far removed from court, it's important for me to still keep up to date. I can't miss out on crucial information. Being aware of the bigger picture is never a bad thing, wouldn't you agree?"
This was not a lie, just not the complete truth.
But apparently it was enough to satisfy Marie's curiosity. The maid nodded. "I do. And I'm glad you came to that conclusion. I'm happy you have thought over your past mistakes and even admitted to them. I'm proud of you. And you should too. Being self-aware is always the first step to self-growth, remember that. It is a piece of advice your mother used to say."
His mother...
Arian blinked as he felt a small tug at his heart. Even though he would never admit it out loud, he missed her dearly.
Mentally, Arian shook his head. No, you're not getting sentimental over this.
So Arian decided to end their conversation for today.
Just as he was about to send Marie away, he heard loud voices from outside the building.
He recognised Sir Balay, who spoke loud and fierce and sounded just a tiny bit angry.
Arian wanted to throw up his hands in frustration. "What the hell is going on now?"