This is fucked. I reached this conclusion after careful consideration, but this is truly fucked.
I questioned the Headmistress about the audit, but…
──The first prince seemed to be trying to be considerate, and the others were whispering about how considerate the royal family was… It wasn't the right atmosphere to assert the academy's independence. It could have caused excessive friction with the royal family.
Considering that the royal family was offering subsidies in exchange for the audit, it wasn't really a problem.
I was suspicious that the royal family might be conducting the audit after finding some clue about the academy's finances, but…
'If the Margrave's words are true, the royal family is actually trying to get on the Headmistress's good side right now. Trying to gain control over the Headmistress in this situation? That's too dangerous and foolish.'
They could have sent the audit later, after the Delphia Kingdom issue was resolved. The fact that they were sending it now meant they weren't trying to control the Headmistress or the academy.
Even if the first prince's "considerate" act was a performance, there was no way the Headmistress, a Rank 8, wouldn't see through it. The Headmistress might have terrible financial sense, but she wasn't stupid.
In other words, the royal family was truly being considerate.
'Why is sending an audit being considerate?'
It was obvious. Even if it was a donation for post-terrorist attack reconstruction, frankly, no one knew how those donations would actually be used. The nobles and trading companies who gave the donations would demand an accounting of how the donations were used.
That's where their interference in the academy would begin. But what if the royal family stepped in and finished the audit beforehand?
Who would argue when the royal family vouched for it? The royal family was trying to prevent the nobles and trading companies from exerting influence over the academy. In other words, they were being considerate of the Headmistress. They were, but…
The problem was that the audit itself was critical.
'This is driving me crazy.'
It was like accidentally stepping on a mouse while backing away from a cow. The royal family was trying to be considerate of the Headmistress, but they ended up stepping on the academy's sore spot.
Of course, we could refuse the audit. Since the royal family was trying to get on the Headmistress's good side, they would probably allow it.
But that would leave room for other nobles and trading companies to intervene, and it could raise suspicions about why we were refusing a mere audit.
It was best to calmly accept the audit here. But the problem was that it was impossible, damn it.
Therefore, the conclusion I reached after careful consideration was…
"So… you're saying they're sending an audit?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Why are you telling me?"
"Because our bribery relationship might be exposed."
"Ah…!!"
First, I had to find my client, Lisha.
Ruth? Chloe? Beatrice? None of them were helpful. Even the Headmistress, who was always a deus ex machina, was powerless in this matter.
What I needed now was someone with significant influence in the 'kingdom' and who was also entangled with me through mutual interests to help me.
It was the daughter of the great noble Claudia family.
I was lucky enough to run into Lisha right away, pushing aside the protagonist, Chloe, and Beatrice, who were blocking my way despite my urgent need to move. Lisha was initially bewildered, but she soon grasped the gravity of the situation and made a serious face.
"If our bribery relationship is exposed…"
"I'll lose my head, but the Headmistress's anger will be directed not only at you, Student Lisha, but also at the Claudia family."
"B-but it's just an audit, isn't it? Besides, judging from the royal family's atmosphere, it seems like they'll just check the ledgers and financial statements."
"It's a precautionary measure. Is this something we can easily overlook, thinking it will be fine?"
"…No, it's not."
Those who do dirty deeds always consider the worst-case scenario for fear of being caught. Lisha's face turned pale as she imagined our bribery relationship being exposed and the Headmistress's fist, which created a giant basin outside the academy, heading towards her.
The real problem was actually the near-bankrupt financial state, but even the bribery relationship alone was enough to motivate Lisha.
Lisha, with a serious expression, looked at me.
"You must have something you want if you came to me."
"With the power of the Claudia family, you can find out who's coming for the audit in advance, can't you? You must have infiltrated quite a few eyes and ears into the capital."
"Please wait a moment."
She didn't deny it. The Claudia family were margraves, but more than that, they were a great noble family with a Rank 8 as their head. It was only natural that they exerted considerable influence in the capital.
Even if it was an audit dispatched by royal order, they could find out who it was.
I felt like I caught a glimpse of why the royal family was so wary of the Headmistress. If the Headmistress decided to exert her influence, she would be even more threatening than the Claudia family.
Lisha, after briefly talking with the attendants who followed her, returned in less than ten minutes.
"Marcus Rutel, he's currently working as a finance official in the royal palace. Judging from his relatively low position, it doesn't seem like the royal family is serious about this."
"Thank you. Is there any other information?"
"He's such a quiet worker that there's nothing special to note. Maybe that he has a strong sense of justice? The fact that we found out so easily means the royal family isn't really trying to hide it."
"…Thank you. I'll ask for your help again if the worst happens."
"I hope there won't be a need for that. Please."
The meeting with Lisha was short, less than 20 minutes, but it was very fruitful. After hearing Lisha's desperate plea to keep the Claudia family's name hidden from the Headmistress in case of the worst-case scenario, I immediately left.
I rushed back to the Headmistress's office without a moment's rest, and the Headmistress, already pale, was waiting for me.
"F-Finance Director…"
"Headmistress."
"What should we do? No, no, there's no time for that. Did you find out anything?"
"The person coming for the audit is a finance official named Marcus Rutel. I hear he's not a high-ranking official."
"I also heard when the audit would be while talking with the first prince."
"When!?"
"He said it would be in three days."
Three days. It was too little time to attempt anything. Besides, wouldn't it take several days for the royal family to get here? Were they planning the audit before even coming to the academy?
While I was cursing the royal family's ridiculously fast work, eager to please the Headmistress,
The Headmistress, taking a deep breath after her teary-eyed expression, looked at me with determined eyes.
"…Let's cook the books."
"Do you even know what that means?"
"I've read some finance books. It wasn't much help, but I remember that much."
Cooking the books.
Simply put, it was manipulating the accounting records.
It was a common tactic used by organizations like our academy, whose financial status couldn't be revealed, and a typical method to pass audits like this, but…
"It's not possible."
"What? Why?"
"Not only is there not enough time, but there are too many documents."
Cooking the books wasn't easy. We had to adjust all the figures while cross-checking the financial statements and ledgers, and then modify all related budget execution details, fixed costs, and expenditures.
Moreover, the academy's financial crisis didn't start just a year or two ago, but at least ten years ago.
It was nearly impossible to modify all those documents, especially considering the three-day deadline and the fact that the only available personnel were me and the Headmistress.
If I asked Milia to do it, she would immediately learn about the academy's financial situation.
'It would be the same even if I involve the protagonist.'
Borrowing money temporarily to fill the gap? That was also impossible. We had to forge everything, including how we obtained the money, how much it was, and the details of the transaction, and there wasn't enough time. Besides, there was nowhere to borrow money from.
It seemed like the protagonist had quite a bit of money, but even if we borrowed from her, it would be the same. The academy had to appear flawless on paper. Even if we suddenly turned a profit after being in a state of collapse, our financial soundness would still be in shambles.
In other words, whether we cooked the books or not, we were completely screwed.
The Headmistress's face was filled with despair.
"Th-then… should we refuse the audit now? At least we can buy some time that way."
"Then the royal family will immediately become suspicious. Not only is it uncertain whether we can buy enough time, but the auditors will be even more thorough if they sense something is amiss."
"Is there no way…?"
It was a dead end. There was no way out.
The justification for refusing the audit was clear, and even if we did refuse, it would only lead to a bigger problem later.
And accepting the audit was impossible, as we couldn't pass it safely, whether we cooked the books or not. It was too much for the Headmistress to overcome this crisis alone.
But…
If there was truly no way, I wouldn't have sought out Lisha.
"There… is a solution."
"R-really!? I knew I could trust the Finance Director!!"
"But it's not a normal method. Still, it's better than refusing the audit."
"What is it?"
"The problem is that they're sending an audit, right?"
"Th-that's right. But you said we couldn't refuse it earlier…"
"That's correct. We can't refuse it. So we just need to prevent them from coming."
"…huh?"
"Physically."
The Headmistress, who didn't understand my words for a moment, soon had a shocked expression. It was a crazy idea, so it was only natural.
An audit meant someone would be coming. And if that person came and saw the academy's ledgers, it would be problematic.
So…
"We just need to prevent them from 'physically' reaching the academy."
"Wh-what do you mean…?"
"The royal family might be aiming for an audit, but they'll try to let it slide for now. They have to be wary of the Headmistress because of the Delphia Kingdom issue. If there's a truly 'unavoidable reason,' they'll cancel the audit, and even if there isn't, they'll just announce that the audit was passed."
This wasn't just optimism. It was something Lisha specifically mentioned.
In the first place, the royal family's intentions were clear from the moment they sent a mid-level official for the audit of Grandis Academy. From their perspective, it would be good if they could conduct a proper audit, but it wasn't a big deal if they couldn't. They might even decide not to send another audit to avoid provoking the Headmistress too much.
So it was possible. No, it had to be possible.
This was the only way for the academy to overcome this worst crisis.
"But how? Should we assassinate the auditor…?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I-I'm sorry. That's the only thing I could think of…"
"Assassination is too risky and not a suitable method. If the auditor dies, the royal family will be in a difficult position. We need a different method."
So here…
"Let's use a proven method."
"A proven method?"
Now then.
Hey, Circe?
***
"Auditor Marcus, we're ready to depart."
"Hmm."
At the knight's words, Auditor Marcus Rutel, who had been working until the last minute, rose from his seat.
Auditors were usually given a day off before being dispatched for an audit to rest, but Marcus had even given up that day off and was immersed in his work until the moment of departure.
A rigid and principled auditor.
He was often passed over for promotions due to his personality, which earned him the dislike of many, but Marcus didn't care. He simply focused on his work.
There were also many who admired his character, and the knight escorting him was one of them.
"Thank you. It's a long way to Grandis Academy; you'll have your work cut out for you with the escort."
"It's nothing compared to you, Auditor Marcus. You're the only one who works until the very last minute before being dispatched."
"I'm just doing my duty. Here, you get on too."
"Yes!"
Auditor Marcus, mounted on the horse prepared by the escort knight, checked his luggage one last time and left the capital. The only one following him was the knight in charge of his escort.
Usually, a scribe or accountant would accompany an auditor to assist with the work, but…
Even for the audit of a major institution like Grandis Academy, it was a meager group.
"…Auditor Marcus, have you heard anything beforehand?"
"Heard anything?"
"We're going to Grandis Academy, aren't we? The most prestigious school in the kingdom! I hear it's as big as a city, and you're in charge of auditing its finances alone…"
"I'm simply following the orders from above."
"Actually, I also heard something beforehand. That it's okay to return if something comes up midway."
"That's… Wait, who's that?"
"Excuse me?"
Unless they used teleportation magic, it was a long journey to Grandis Academy, taking several days. As Marcus and the escort knight were chatting, someone came rushing towards them.
The escort knight drew his sword with a suspicious look, but as the person approached, the attire of the rider became clear.
It was a messenger, the most common sight in the kingdom.
"A messenger? This is Auditor Marcus. What is it?"
"Salute! I am Cratel, the messenger in charge of Grandis Academy!"
"The messenger in charge of Grandis Academy? Why are you here?"
"I was looking for Auditor Marcus to deliver an urgent message! Auditor Marcus! It's a serious matter!"
"What is it?"
Both the escort knight and Marcus were puzzled by the messenger's serious expression.
The messenger, who had quickly arrived here using teleportation magic, shouted,
"A large amount of hair loss potion has been leaked near the academy! The cause is an experimental failure by a professor in the Magic Department! Even the merchants and visitors heading towards the academy have turned back! I thought I should inform you, Auditor Marcus…!!"
"Wh-what? No, does that even make sense?"
"I… I'm in charge of Grandis Academy, so I know, but explosions and collapses happen several times a day at Grandis Academy. This kind of accident is quite common."
"Goodness, Auditor Marcus? What should we do?"
He was asking, but the knight's eyes were filled with hesitation. It would be one thing if it were something else, but it was a hair loss potion. As a knight with a bright future ahead of him, he didn't want to go bald at this age.
Moreover, they had been told that it was okay to return if something came up. Judging from the atmosphere, Auditor Marcus must have heard the same thing.
They had a valid reason, and they hadn't traveled far, so it wouldn't be a problem to turn back, but…
Auditor Marcus's eyes were fixed straight ahead.
"Let's continue."
"But Auditor Marcus!"
"It's a royal order. I can't turn back because of something like a hair loss potion."
Auditor Marcus, saying so, had an already smooth head.
He usually hid it with a hat and wig, but he was already immune to any hair loss potion.
Auditor Marcus continued towards the academy…
…and didn't forget to buy a Purification Scroll for the escort knight along the way.
***
Thud!
"I can't believe that auditor was bald…!!"
"What should we do now? Should we use Professor Circe again?"
"No. Since things have come to this…"
"Since things have come to this?"
"It's the Headmistress's turn."
Yes, let's see who wins!