"I'm the biggest hypocrite in this school.
If you're wondering why, you'll understand soon enough.
Since the day I was born, I've been surrounded by love—true, patient, unconditional love. My parents nurtured me, protected me, and shaped my body, mind, and spirit with a discipline few children could endure. Knowledge, physical strain, discipline... I was always ahead. Always.
So I grew up believing—no, preaching—that anyone can rise as high as the greatest. That with enough effort, anyone can reach the summit. But that's a lie.
Because deep down, I know the truth.
No matter how hard someone tries, they cannot erase time. You can't beat someone with years of head start just by will alone. People love to say that talent is nothing without hard work, that the genius who labors will surpass the brute who grinds. And yes, that's true—but that's not the point. The real truth is this: disparities rule this world.
No matter how fiercely you fight, someone will always be ahead—by birth, by chance, by destiny. So how do you keep going when the winner's already been chosen? When you know your effort might never matter?
I spread this lie because I wanted to believe in it myself.
My grandfather believed peace was achievable. True peace. And I took on his ideals. But even he... even with all his wisdom, never told me this part. Did he know and keep it from me? Out of mercy? Out of love?
I don't know.
Humans are selfish. Lustful. Addicted to beauty and chained to greed. How can there be peace in a world where everyone wants something different, where every hand hides an agenda?
Real peace... real, absolute peace... only seems possible in two scenarios: one, if an unmovable power governs all; or two, if every soul shares the same enemy. Neither of these are peace. They're just control... or war. So maybe peace is just a fantasy.
Then there's love.
I've craved it. I've dreamed of it. But I've never allowed myself to feel it.
I refuse to open my heart. Not to one girl. Not to any. Because if I do, I might hurt them... and I can't bear to be that person.
I say I never want to see others suffer for things they didn't cause. And yet, I sit and watch. I have the power to help—to free people from their chains—and I do nothing. Isn't that cruelty disguised as indifference?
And still, no one calls me out.
Maybe that's the worst part.
Because the truth is... I think I'm the protagonist of this world.
I act like I understand everything. I pretend I'm humble, yet I've built my identity on the admiration of others. They call me a genius. A symbol. A god.
But if they knew that I'm terrified of failure—that I cling to my image because I'm scared to see it break—would they still believe in me?
I've let vanity define me. I act like a savior, while the real God watches from above. I say I'm trying to do good, yet my soul is bloated with pride. Maybe I'm not just a hypocrite...
Maybe I'm the greatest sinner this country has ever known.
And despite that—they still idolize me.
Do they know who I really am? Would they still cheer for me if they saw the truth?
And if I were to vanish right now... would the world remember me for anything real?
No.
I am dying of thirst.
And if things stay as they are...
I won't survive myself.
Maybe it's time…
…to finally open my eyes."