The dragon roared.
The Doom Slayer charged.
And what followed was not a fight.
It was an execution.
The Carnage – (Censored for the Viewers)
Deadpool immediately dove for cover.
"OH SH*! CHILDREN, AVERT YOUR EYES! THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A HARD-RATED R MOVIE—NO, WAIT—NC-17!*"
The Doom Slayer slammed into the dragon's side, moving so fast it was like he teleported. The sheer force caved in the beast's ribcage, making it stumble.
The dragon, furious and confused, tried to retaliate—only for the Slayer to leap onto its head, grab one of its massive horns, and twist.
A loud SNAP echoed.
The dragon screeched in pain.
And then, the real violence began.
"BEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
Deadpool pressed an actual censor button on his belt.
"NOPE! NOPE! CAN'T SHOW THIS! TOO GRAPHIC! TOO HORRIFIC! CHILDREN MIGHT BE READING THIS FANFIC, AND I REFUSE TO GET ANOTHER LAWSUIT FROM THE FCC!"
The screen glitches as Deadpool waves his hands.
"Folks, you're missing out! He just grabbed the dragon by the wings and—OH MY GOD—BEEEEEEP!"
Hughie, pale as a ghost, just whispered, "What the f** am I looking at?*"
Pavitr, shell-shocked, just nodded. "I… I don't know whether to be horrified or honored."
The dragon tried to fly away.
Big mistake.
The Doom Slayer jumped, grabbed its wing mid-flight, and with an ungodly amount of strength—
RIIIIIP!
"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
Frenchie lit a cigarette with shaking hands. "Mon dieu… he just… he just tore its f**ing wing off.*"
Kimiko, for the first time ever, looked genuinely disturbed.
"BEEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP!"
"OH GOD! HE'S USING THE ARM BLADE! THE ARM BLADE! BEEEEEEP!"
"NO, NOT LIKE THAT! JESUS CHRIST, SLAYER, HAVE MERCY! BEEEEEEEEP!"
After the 'Incident'
The battlefield was silent.
Blood. Everywhere.
The dragon's massive corpse lay in ruins, chunks missing, bones shattered, absolutely annihilated beyond recognition.
Even Butcher, a man who had seen some of the most twisted sh** imaginable, looked… mildly impressed.
Deadpool stood in the middle of the wreckage, hands on his hips.
"Well, that happened."
He turned to the camera.
"And due to censorship laws, we were unable to show you the full extent of what just transpired. But let me tell you, it was like mixing Mortal Kombat, Doom Eternal, and a Tarantino movie on crack. So, uh… use your imagination."
Then, suddenly—
The Doom Slayer turned to them.
The temperature dropped again.
His visor locked onto them.
The sheer intensity of his presence made even Butcher hesitate.
And then—
His voice, cold and menacing, finally broke the silence.
"Where am I?"
Deadpool stared.
Then slowly turned to the group.
And then—
"…Oh, we're so f*ed."**