Noah's POV
The couch is warm. Kieran is warm. His fingers rake slowly through my hair, scratching lightly against my scalp, and Finnian is purring so loudly in my head that I almost can't hear the sound of his heartbeat beneath my cheek.
I breathe in, syncing my breaths with his, the steady rhythm lulling me into something soft and safe.
Peace.
This is the kind of quiet I wanted with Logan. I can almost picture it—Oliver toddling into the living room, a toy clutched in his tiny hands, his bright little voice babbling, 'Look, Papa!' I can imagine Logan beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist, pressing a kiss to my temple as we both laugh and indulge our son.
A perfect family.
One we never got to be.
I squeeze my eyes shut and shove the thought away.
"Don't you have to leave soon?" I murmur.
Kieran shifts slightly, humming low in his chest. "Yeah… I probably should start getting ready soon." His fingers pause in my hair, then resume their slow, lazy scratching. "But I don't want to stand up."
I huff a laugh. "Same."
We lapse into silence again. The sun is dipping lower in the sky, slanting orange light through the window. It paints Kieran's skin in shades of fire and gold.
After a while, he chuckles. "Y'know, you weren't this laid-back in Vesperis. You were always zooming about, collecting bugs, watching birds, picking up sticks and claiming you'd make a castle with them."
I snort, cracking an eye open. "I was a child in Vesperis. And, for the record, you indulged in my shenanigans. We never cuddled."
Kieran sighs dramatically. "And that's a fine shame." He pulls me closer, his voice teasing. "But better late than never."
I smile, resting my head against his chest again. His heartbeat is a steady thrum beneath my ear, grounding me.
But then… the smile fades.
I hesitate. Then, quietly, "Are you still in touch with them?"
"Vesperis?" Kieran asks.
I nod.
He shifts slightly, adjusting the way he holds me. "Yeah, a little. My parents are still there and so are old friends and family there so it's hard not to keep in touch. But since I moved to Eastvale, I've been spending more time with my mom's pack. Solivern."
I hum in acknowledgment, tracing small patterns against his chest.
Kieran exhales softly. "Vesperis wasn't the same without you."
I still. I don't like thinking about that place. I think about it so little that I'd more or less forgotten that Kieran was a part of my childhood until he showed up, over two decades later, looking like the goddesses' favourite art piece.
I asked out of curiosity but now, he doesn't stop.
"It was weird," he continues. "One day, Noah Bennett was there, and the next, he was just… gone. You were gone." His voice turns quieter. "No one gave me a proper explanation. They just said you moved."
Something in my chest tightens. That's true, I did move. But not because I wanted to.
"Considering it happened after…" Kieran hesitates. "…I thought I did something wrong."
I lift my head slightly, searching his face. "Why would you think that?"
His jaw clenches, and his eyes flick away for a split second before he covers it up with a quick shake of his head. "Doesn't matter."
No.
I know a deflection when I see one.
I straighten up a little more. "Kieran. After what?"
He presses his lips together. Then, finally, sighs.
"…Never mind that."
That's a bullshit answer, but I can tell he's not going to tell me. Not yet.
Instead, he shifts, resting his head against the couch. "Still," he murmurs, "I think I cried so hard that the pain finally forced me to have my first shift."
I blink.
Then, after a beat—
"You missed me so much that Kaiser had to show up and comfort you?"
Kieran huffs out a small laugh. "Who said anything about comfort?" He shakes his head, his fingers trailing down my spine. "I think he was even more sad than I was."
He pauses.
Then, quieter, "He spent that full moon howling and whimpering at the gate of the Vesperis estate, calling out to you." A humorless laugh escapes him. "It's stupid. I don't even know what I was thinking would happen, but… I was devastated when you never showed up."
I stare at him. My lips part slightly, but no words come out. I don't know what to say.
He cried for me? Kaiser howled for me?
The realization sits heavy in my chest, an ache I don't know what to do with. Back then, I was so focused on my own grief, my own loss, that it never even occurred to me that my absence hurt others too. I thought no one cared…
"I didn't know," I murmur. "I never knew."
Kieran exhales, a quiet laugh, but there's something sad in it. "Yeah. Well. How could you?" His fingers trace absent patterns on my skin. "You were gone."
Gone. 'Ripped away', more like.
"Have I ever told you you're sweet?" I ask, voice barely above a whisper.
Kieran smirks. "You can tell me I'm a goddamn lollipop after you tell me what happened." His voice is gentler now, cautious but insistent. "What made you leave Vesperis? How did you end up with the Lykandors?"
I tense and my hands curl against his shirt.
I close my eyes.
An empty road. The smell of Virilite. Red and blue police lights.
"It's not a good story."
Kieran's breath is quiet. "Bad memories?"
"Tragic ones."
He doesn't press further.
But he does ask, "…Then tell me why you and Logan broke up."
I stiffen.
Kieran must feel it because his arms tighten around me slightly.
I breathe in slowly. Then, weakly, "Do we have to talk about him here? Right now?"
I press a kiss to Kieran's chest, hoping to distract him, to shift the moment into something warm and safe again.
But Kieran only exhales, long and slow.
"Noah." His voice is soft. Steady. But firm. "Please. I need to know if we're going to keep doing this."
I close my eyes again. I don't want to do this. I don't want to go back.
But Kieran is looking at me, steady and patient, and I know he won't push if I say no.
And maybe that's why I do tell him.
Because no one else ever let me choose before.
"So two years ago…"
---
Logan's hot, hungry mouth is on mine as we stumble into our apartment.
I'm on him immediately, hands tugging at his shirt, drinking him in. His taste, his scent, his heat—all mine.
I press my lips to his jaw, kissing, nipping, teasing my way down to his throat.
"Wait—" Logan laughs between breaths. "Baby, baby, wait—"
I pull back just enough to smirk at him. "Is that an order, Alpha?"
Something flickers in his gaze—lust, need, Fenrir's hunger. Logan loves it when I call him that, he loves knowing that I recognise him as my Alpha.
But even as his wolf is ready to devour me, Logan— unfortunately— still wants to run his mouth.
"I'm just asking you to slow down. I've got something to tell you," he says, cocky as ever. "Plus, I did make you cum in a public restroom less than an hour ago."
I groan against his neck, nipping at his skin. "And I want you again. Now. Is it so bad to be eager to fuck my husband after another successful game?"
The words are barely out of my mouth before Logan's body tenses.
His voice is immediate. No hesitation. Like it's the simplest truth in the world.
"Not your husband."
I freeze.
My stomach twists, and my fingers falter where they're curled around his shirt.
I pull back slightly, just enough to meet his gaze.
Logan just looks at me. Not cruel, not cold. Just… unmovable.
And suddenly, I remember—
I've been waiting for us to move forward.
I've been wanting it.
But Logan?
He's been avoiding it.
I keep my face neutral, but the words are bitter on my tongue. "Yeah. Not my husband."
"Noah."
I step away but it lingers. A slow, cold ache curling under my ribs.
'Will you ever be?'
The question presses against my teeth, but I don't let it out. I don't want to fight about this now. Not when the adrenaline is still high, not after the thrill of my first orgasm.
So I sigh, stripping off my shirt as I turn toward the bedroom. "So, what do you want to tell me?"
Logan follows, watching me. "Y'know that guy I was talking to after the match?"
I don't even look back. "Flower-print shirt, khaki shorts, socks with sandals? Looking like somebody's missing uncle?"
Logan laughs. "That's the one."
I glance at him as I reach the bedroom doorway.
Logan grins. "Turns out, he's an agent for the San Diego Shadows."
My breath catches.
"They want me to sign with them."
I stare at him.
My heart leaps—but the first thing out of my mouth isn't 'I'm happy for you.'
It's—
"…San Diego?" I swallow hard. "That's… not Eastvale."
Logan's smile flickers.
His voice is quieter when he says, "Yeah."