Accepting one's fate doesn't come easily. It's not about surrendering — it's about looking inward, being brutally honest with yourself. No lies to comfort you, no excuses to hide behind.
It's okay not to accept the truth all at once. It's a process.
Feeling hurt, lost, and unsure — second-guessing yourself — that's human. It's how we grow, and sometimes, it's how we learn to find joy in the darkest places.
I've struggled with these thoughts for a long time. And though I still wrestle with them, I've learned one thing: Happiness doesn't come from what others think of you. It comes from within, from embracing the parts of you that you want to hide. It comes from letting go of past wounds, even if the scars remain.
I find myself sitting outside the library, waiting for someone to arrive. My fingers tap on the cool metal of the bench, the late afternoon sun casting long shadows across the campus lawn. It's a quiet day, but it's not the solitude I used to hate. Now, it feels comforting.
Then, I hear footsteps approaching, and a voice cuts through the silence.
"Hey, you're early," Mia says, plopping down next to me on the bench. Mia's one of those people who just radiates energy — the kind of person who makes you forget your own worries because they're so focused on making sure you're not carrying the weight of the world alone.
"Yeah, guess I wanted some quiet before the madness starts." I smile at her, but it's not the same kind of smile I used to give. There's no mask anymore. It's just me.
She raises an eyebrow. "You know, you're not the only one who gets nervous about crowds, right? I thought the 'tough guy' routine was your thing."
I chuckle. "Tough guy? Yeah, that was a phase I'm trying to forget."
"Honestly, you don't have to put up that act with me." Mia leans back, her eyes scanning the horizon. "You're allowed to just be... you."
That hits me harder than I expect, but I don't show it. I nod, grateful. She doesn't know the full story — not the whole history of why I had to put up walls. But for the first time in a long while, I feel like I don't need to explain myself. She's just... here, in a way that makes sense.
"Thanks," I finally say, my voice quieter than I intended.
Mia gives me a sideways glance. "Look, I get it. You've been through a lot. But you're allowed to have good things happen too. Like, don't let what happened back then ruin everything now. Seriously."
It's funny how she doesn't even know what "back then" means for me.
"You sound like my therapist," I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
"Your therapist?" Mia laughs. "Yeah, well, I'm better, obviously. I won't charge you by the hour."
I laugh, and for the first time in weeks, it feels real. Genuine. Not forced.
The conversation drifts, and after a while, she brings up something I wasn't expecting.
"So, uh, what's the deal with you and Elena?" she asks, her voice casual, but her eyes twinkling with curiosity. "I mean, you two are always talking and stuff."
Elena. She's the one who's been making everything feel different lately.
"Well, she's... she's just someone who gets me, you know?" I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "We don't really have a 'thing,' but she makes me feel like I can be myself without all the pressure."
Mia leans forward, her expression softening. "I get it. You don't have to pretend around her. That's a big deal, actually. It's a relief to be able to just be yourself, especially after everything you've been through."
I pause, the weight of her words sinking in. "Yeah, it is. I think... maybe I'm starting to understand that I don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's okay to just... exist."
Mia gives me a knowing look. "Good. Because you're worth it, even if you don't see it yet."
I want to say something — to thank her, to tell her how much this small moment means to me. But before I can, Elena walks up, her easy smile lighting up the space between us.
"Did I miss the fun?" she teases, sitting down on the other side of me.
"Nah, just a little heart-to-heart," Mia says with a grin. "But I'll leave you two alone. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Which is exactly what?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Exactly. See you guys later," Mia calls over her shoulder as she walks off.
Elena chuckles, glancing at me. "You two seem to get along well. I like that. It's nice to see you open up."
I feel a rush of warmth. Elena's never judged me for my past, never made me feel like I had to hide. "Yeah, she's... she's great. I think I needed someone to remind me I don't have to be anyone else."
"That's exactly it." Elena's smile deepens, her eyes softening as she looks at me. "You're you. And that's enough for me."
For a moment, I'm not thinking about the past, about the boy I used to be who hid behind sarcasm and walls. I'm not worried about what anyone thinks. I'm just here, in the present, surrounded by people who understand. And for the first time in a long while, I feel like I can finally breathe.
"Thanks, Elena. You make it easier," I admit, my voice steady, but full of gratitude.
Her eyes meet mine, and she leans a little closer. "No need to thank me. Just... keep being you."
And for the first time in my life, I realize that maybe being me is enough.