Sarah
Matthew is so darned confusing! I think to myself as I shower for the second time tonight.
One minute, he declares he hates me. The next minute, he calls me beautiful and makes love to me like I am the most precious thing in the world. I don't know how much more I can take of this roller coaster.
What is he doing to me? And why am I letting him?
It's almost easier when he is angry at me. It is something I've grown accustomed to. Sadly. But when he is so sweet to me, something twists in my heart.
Part of me wants to pull back, to shut it all down before I get hurt, but another part of me wants to believe that maybe, just maybe, he loves me.
I step out of the shower, wrapping myself in a towel, my skin still humming from the pleasure of our lovemaking. I wonder if he is aware of how much he affects me, how his words can break me and heal me in the same breath.
Oh, I am sure he is aware. He is totally playing me, isn't he?
Isn't he?
I groan out loud.
