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Ian had certainly never met Gilderoy Lockhart before today.
However, as one of the most recognizable figures in the wizarding world, Ian had seen his face plastered across posters in bookshops along Diagon Alley more times than he cared to count.
It was almost impossible to pretend not to know him.
The wizarding world might lag behind Muggles in certain aspects, but when it came to celebrity worship, it was undoubtedly on par with them. And Gilderoy Lockhart? He was an absolute master at ensuring he remained the center of attention.
Even some wizarding confectionery brands had started using limited-edition packaging featuring his beaming smiling portrait. He was, in every sense, a marketing phenomenon decades ahead of his time.
Viewed from that perspective…
'Wasn't Gilderoy Lockhart something of a genius? If he weren't a wizard, he'd probably have revolutionized the media industry in the Muggle world with his self-promotional antics.'
It was just unfortunate that, as a wizard, he had seemingly allocated his talents in all the wrong places. Ian found it difficult to fathom how an adult wizard could manage to utterly humiliate himself in front of a group of second-years.
If one were to rank the least popular professors at Hogwarts, even Severus Snape— loathed as he was by many students— might not crack the top three.
But if the contest were for the most incompetent professor in Hogwarts history, Gilderoy Lockhart would claim the title without competition.
"Merlin's beard! You're Master Gilderoy Lockhart! How could I be so lucky as to meet you here? I must be dreaming! It must be fate— just days ago, I was reading your book!" Ian exclaimed, feigning an almost comical level of enthusiasm.
Such theatricality might earn him a withering glare from Snape, but when dealing with a narcissist like Lockhart, it was practically the key to his heart.
Sure enough, Lockhart's dazzling smile widened. "A devoted fan! Splendid! I do believe I have a quill with me— I'll sign something for you, a collector's edition autograph!"
With that, he began rummaging through the many pockets of his robes, apparently unable to recall exactly where he had stowed his quill. After a great deal of dramatic searching, he finally retrieved a flamboyant, jewel-encrusted peacock-feather quill from his inner pocket.
The quill's handle gleamed in gold, its surface embedded with so many sparkling gems that Ian wondered if it would be uncomfortable to hold. It was the sort of quill that might cost more than Ian's entire annual allowance.
"Aha! Found it! As expected of me!"
Lockhart brandished the quill triumphantly, his expression one of self-satisfaction. Anyone unaware of the context might have thought he had just completed an extraordinary feat.
"Oh! He's so charming! So amazing!" A wistful sigh came from Madam Pince, who stood nearby, hands clasped over her heart as if Lockhart's presence had erased decades from her life.
But in Ian's eyes…
The man was nothing short of a clown.
There was no helping it.
After all, he is talking about Gilderoy Lockhart.
To the public, he was an internationally renowned author, a recipient of the Order of Merlin, Third Class, an honorary member of the Anti-Dark Magic League, and a five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award.
All of which ensured that most people saw him through a rose-tinted lens. If not for the humiliating downfall he was set to experience in just a couple of years, how could anyone fail to recognize what an absolute fraud he was? His admirers dismissed his mistakes as endearing quirks.
Only a few professors at Hogwarts sensed something was amiss. The power of celebrity adoration, Ian realized, could be even more blinding than the Confundus Charm.
And for someone who knew the truth about Lockhart, it was impossible to see him as anything but a charlatan. His books— his so-called adventures— were nothing more than stolen tales. His only true talents?
Exceptional charisma and an uncanny knack for self-promotion.
And… perhaps an ability so baffling that even Dumbledore himself might struggle to decipher how Lockhart had managed to continuously "reset" his reputation.
"I actually get to receive your autograph? Oh! This must be Merlin's blessing!" Ian gushed, keeping up the act flawlessly.
No matter what he thought privately, maintaining this performance was essential— Gilderoy Lockhart was notoriously thin-skinned. If he decided to take offense, he could make life far more miserable than even Snape.
"Where shall I sign? This book? Excellent choice! You're quite lucky!" Lockhart declared enthusiastically, reaching for Ian's copy of 'Alchemy Decrypted: The Connection Between All Things.'
Ian swiftly moved the book out of reach, narrowly preventing an ancient tome from being permanently defiled by Lockhart's gaudy signature.
He was briefly tempted to let it happen— just to see Madam Pince's reaction when her beloved Lockhart desecrated a book. Would she choose the integrity of the tome or her admiration for the man?
Ultimately, Ian suppressed his curiosity and pulled out a spare parchment— his well-worn Marauder's Map.
"Sign here! This parchment is mine alone! I wouldn't dream of sharing your signature with other students!" Ian smoothly provided an excuse for his quick maneuvering.
He was nothing if not meticulous.
Gilderoy Lockhart seemed entirely satisfied with Ian's reasoning.
"Ha ha ha! Quite right, quite right. How could I forget this isn't your book? If it bore my signature, even Dumbledore wouldn't want to part with it." Lockhart's quill was of the highest quality; the tip only emerged upon contact with parchment, an elegant bit of enchantment to suit his ostentatious tastes.
"In fact, I've already gifted Dumbledore a limited-edition signed copy of a book I'll be publishing next year. He was absolutely delighted when he received it."
"Can you believe it? The greatest white wizard in the world is one of my admirers! I saw his collection in his office— though he's far too modest to boast about his enthusiasm for my works."
Once Lockhart began talking, there was no stopping him. Even as he signed, he continued his self-aggrandizing monologue. Though he attempted to sound casual, Ian had seen this sort of blatant self-promotion before.
"Our headmaster? A shy person?" Ian played along, feigning the role of an eager conversational partner.
Lockhart immediately seized on the remark.
"Yes! That's exactly it. You're quite the perceptive young wizard. You've reminded me— Hogwarts' headmaster is, indeed, a rather reserved man, and we must forgive him for that."
Overjoyed, Lockhart's grin stretched so wide it seemed in danger of reaching the back of his head.
"Thank you so much!"
Ian pretended to be thrilled as he accepted the freshly signed Marauder's Map. In its dormant state, it appeared to be nothing more than an ordinary piece of parchment.
Of course.
Now it had become a rare, one-of-a-kind Marauder's Map, graced with the signature of Gilderoy Lockhart himself. Ian speculated that, before Lockhart's inevitable downfall, this autograph might fetch a considerable price. Hmm… if Lockhart were to perish before his deception was exposed, the value of this piece could skyrocket.
Ian found himself momentarily lost in thought.
"I don't bestow such kindness upon just any student, you know. Believe me, this will bring you good fortune." Lockhart casually tucked his extravagant quill back into his robes.
"Meeting you here is already good enough," Ian replied smoothly. Perhaps Professor Morgana's assessment of his particular talents wasn't entirely unfounded.
As expected, Lockhart beamed at the flattery, laughing heartily once more. "Quite right! I daresay you'll become my favorite student during my tenure at Hogwarts."
"If not for Dumbledore pleading with me, I wouldn't have returned. My brilliance during my own school days made me the target of jealousy and exclusion. It was dreadful, I tell you."
"I do hope that atmosphere is gone now. If you ever experience anything of the sort, do come to me. A professor's influence should be used to set things right." Lockhart winked conspiratorially at Ian, his words containing a rare kernel of sincerity.
After all, Gilderoy Lockhart had indeed been a top student of Ravenclaw, having passed several of the wizarding world's most notoriously difficult exams with flying colors.
(To Be Continued…)