Under the dark cloudy sky the Nine busty chicks in black gathered upon their black sailed boat. Going into a circle they all then went to their knees as one of them placed a dead rat before them.
With sadness the Nine watched the dead furry little rat that seemed kind of cute to their feminine eyes. In prayer they closed their eyes and said in a whisper.
"May the Goddess of understanding guide your poor little soul, little warrior."
Then they took a hold of each other's hands as they sat there in a circle and began to chant something in a mumbling tone of voice.
"Eskar bedazu, eskar bedazu, eskar bedazu, stalara hai!"
And soon a hazy mist of dark blue energies began to float out the Nine women and float within the furry little warrior.
A few times the rat twitched around as if its nerves were still functioning in death. And then ist dead eyes suddenly shot open and a small blue flame was seen there.
And as if the poor furry bastard hadn't just been killed by the rat catchers poison it just stood up on two little rat feet. In curiosity the furry bastard looked around at the women seemingly confused about what the fuck it was doing here.
Opening their eyes the Nine chicks covered their mouths and ghasped in unison, though the smallest of their number couldn't help but squeal out louder than the others.
"Oh my Goddess, its so cute, oh my Goddess oh my Goddess yes! Ooh, I know, it's name shall be Imperiel the brave!"
Hearing this the others seemed to agree as they nodded their heads and then the tallest of them said.
"Alright mighty Imperiel the Brave, go forth and wake others, so together you can go get the one ring! I can sense it, its somewhere within the town, now go Imperiel, go!"
Imperiel the rat nodded its rat head and then on two short rat legs walked away. And as it did the women squealed.
"Oh my Goddess, look it's walking on two feet, kyaahh! Oh sister you forgot to tell it that it was in fact a former rat and not Imperiel the brave."
To this the smallest of them merely shook her head as she said.
"No just let it be, it's so much cuter like this."
So Imperiel was set loose to find the one ring. Using its undead senses it was quick to waddle over to the graveyard. Easily walking under the metallic gate it then looked upon the graves, raised it's little arms into the air, and then blue energy shot forth from it all over the place.
At the same time the Nine busty chicks continued wondering around the docks looking for other dead things to raise. Although some of them were quickly noticed by the guards, the Nine figured them crawling around, looking under docks and lifting up boxes must have been suspicious. So with happy smiles they made sure to wave to the guards and then ran off out of sight to look for more dead things.
On the other hand the guards merely looked at each other knowingly as one of them said. "Dam, did you see how she looked at me. Man I'm totally grabbing a feel of that fat ass at some point. She's totally into me man. And oh boy what an ass that faire maidens got on her, and those tits too, mmm. Shit I sure would love to have a feel of them soon. Too bad they seem kind of shy, though that's kind of sexy as well."
"Heck yeah man, I think you've totally got this! I'm sure soon you'll have more than just that one wife at home. Although its too bad she ran away. I wouldn't have minded her crawling around and bending over some more before us, yeah!" Saying this the guard did a side to side ass slapping motion as he rocked his hips, as if imagining himself taking the woman from behind while slapping that ass.
***
At the same time in the Inn a Legendary council of 6 was taking place, 6 soon to be Legendary mother fuckers that is. Five of them sat around a round table within their expensive VIP room, while Aragon sat at the side in his bed looking at a flower in his hand.
With great care the golden blonde haired, grown man looked at the flower in his hand. He carefully studied its 8 pointy white ends, then as if remembering something he loudly said.
"AHH, yes now I remember! This is Elfhealingshit, it has great detoxing effects against poison and alcohol. Mix this with milk and you'll get over a hangover in no time."
Hearing this Frodo slammed his fist into the table at the center of the room and said.
"Shut your mouth Aragon! Nobody gives a shit about your gay plants right now. We need a plan, ok. Its already been two weeks, Gandalf isn't here and the sexy waitresses are already looking at us like looking at some bums. Oh and they are so gonna throw us out soon. Now I for one will not stand for this! Sure we do not have gold, but who gives a shit? Let's just fucking roll on out of here, get on that fishing ship you bought and row ourselves south. Then well just go from there."
Hearing this Gimli was excited. "Yeah, well said my young lad! Who fucking needs coins when in the south my cousins have a Dwarven Kingdom full of coins! Surely they'll get us whatever shait we need as we tumble further East!"
Merry didn't seem to agree as he questioned. "Oh, and just how far is this Kingdom? Where will we sleep, what will we eat? We only have a few weeks worth of supplies and those apples left. Will never make it, god damnit."
The last words Merry said as he slammed his face into the table in a tierful rage. His gold was gone and he was not happy.
Pippin though was quick to pat Merry on his shoulder for comfort as he suggested. "Ooh, cheer up brother. We have bows and can always hunt. Sam can cook and Frodo, well Aragon can make medicines with his flowers and Gimli. Well the point is that it will be alright, just trust me."
Sam then stood on his chair and with his wooden club in hand yelled. "Yes, for Frodo, for riches, for honour and glory!"
Aragon merely smiled at his little flower in his hand, as he then spat on it and quietly said. "Eat little one, eat and then we will eat you later, yes yes."
Frodo was so not convinced, but he was so fucking frustrated. He didn't come on this adventure to just sit in a Inn, eat and drink. Slamming both his fist into the table he then stood upon his chair as well and yelled.
"Fuck yes! Let's just go south and start killing shit already! We don't need no Gandalf, coins, food or whatever! I say we just go, for Honour and Glory!"
And soon all were yelling for honour and Glory as they seemed to come to a decision. Quickly they began to pack up their few belongings and ready themselves to leave for their Legendary Adventure.
But just then shocked shout's came from downstairs, followed by heavy footsteps coming closer to their door. Confused Frodo looked to the door and felt a slight hint of danger there.
From the other side of the door they could then hear someone yelling.
"Blessed be the light, Big Bob you're alive! Oh heavens, hey everyone big Bob is alive! Wait what, how are those dead folks moving? Ahhhhh fuck run, its the undead!"
Then suddenly something hard smashed against the door, it cracked, splintered and within a single hit blew open with a mighty bang. Cracked and smashed splinters of the door flew all around causing the group of six to Jump backwards closer towards their room windows.
And then they saw a big fat man with a really messed up face with a massive wooden club in hand charging in. The man didn't even have eyes, but small white magical flames within his eye sockets, and yet it clearly was headed straight for Frodo as if it saw him.
Taking a step back Frodo placed one hand on the massive sword on his back, but quickly felt it to be stuck between his back and backpack. He couldn't pull his sword out could only prepare himself to face the ugly fat man.
But just then Sam came running, he placed his body In front of Frodo, lifted up his wooden shield and yelled.
"No, you'll not touch him, you fat shit!"
As Sam said this the big man's huge club came crashing down on his wooden shield with another hard bang. The force of the strike made Sam's feet quake, as the wooden floor underneath cracked slightly as did his wooden shield. But still Sam held strong and stood his ground through gritted teeth. It seemed that his dead Fathers dwarven blood had made him quite the sturdy fellow.
Not missing this opportunity Frodo leaped over Sam and in mid air turned his feet towards the big bastard, as he then sent a devastating double kick straight into his face. Immediately the ugly big bastard's nose could be heard breaking from the impact, he became even uglier although strangely enough blood didn't fly as Frodo had expected. Instead the man merely let out a beastly growl as he was sent stumbling backwards out the door, where he then crashed into the wall in the hall. His big body sloped down a little showing a slightly cracked wall behind.
Now with hands on their weapons the group of six were all confused, Sam was in pain and Frodo was enraged, although more than anything he worried about if they were going to have pay for the damages here. So in anger he roared.
"The fuck did you guys do? Shit, we are so fuckt! There's no way I'm paying for this, let's just run, out the window fast!"
Quickly everyone turned to the windows, but before they could open them more enemies came. From the hall two more really messed up looking people came charging in and that's when Frodo realised something.
"Are those fucking zombies? What the fuck?" Frodo yelled as two swift arrows from Pippin and Merry flew past him and straight into the two zombies heads. Instantly the two fell lifelessly to the floor like rocks.
Seeing it everyone breathed a sigh of relief, until they noticed the big man in the hall getting up, and then the zombie corpses began to glow a deep blue. Immediately Frodos danger senses were alerted as he yelled.
"Ooh shit get out! They're going to explode!"
Immediately Aragon got startled, grabbed the angry Gimli by his neck and ass, then he unceremoniously tossed him through the window. "Ooh you gotta be kidding me!" was all that was heard from Gimli as his head smashed against the window and he flew out to the hard cobblestone street below.
Instantly Aragon followed and then Pippin and Merry, although they did hesitate for a second as they were on the second floor.
At the same time Sam and Frodo ran, but were quickly enveloped within the deep blue coloured magical explosions of the corpses that sent their insides flying all around. Blood guts, brains and even bone fragments like shrapnel from a grenade flew all around. Both boys were tossed through the windows with glass in their faces and some fragments hitting their backpacks and legs in mid air.
Frodo could hear bone fragments crackling against his armour, while Sam yelled in pain as they crashed hard on the street. A small crack was Formed under Frodo as Sam landed with a splat.
Laying face down on the cobblestone street Frodo felt awesome. Finally he was seeing some action, although Sam was yelling in pain. "Ahhhhh, damn, I'm hit! I'm hit and bleeding! Medic!" Sam yelled as blood trickled out his legs that had been hit by the bone fragments.
Seeing it Aragon was quick to run to the help of the young man. Gimli held his axes as Pippin and Merry covered them with their bows. Seeing it Frodo couldn't help but feel that this shit was kind of awesome.
Doing a single powerful push-up Frodo then flew to his feet. Checking himself he could still feel that his backpack was mostly intact with a few holes, his armour was fine as was his sword and most of all his curly blonde hair was fine as hell, and he was still extremely heavy.
Then another bang was heard from the Inns front door as the big man came crashing through it. With his huge club in hand he looked around and then when he saw him he charged again. And not just him, but from behind him three more zombies exited the Inn followed by a small rat.
The little furry thing stood on its hind legs as it pointed it's finger towards Frodo and yelled in some strange rat tongue. "Striska stirksa ratata raaaaa, banzai!"
Seeing it Aragon was quick to yell. "That's the one controlling them! I know its ridiculous but no other undead can speak except the Lich, kill it!"
Nodding his head Frodo quickly sprang into action. Taking a few running steps towards the big man, his legs then flexed as he leaped a little over two meters into the air, he landed upon the big man's ugly head and from there leaped towards the little furry rat lich.
Seeing this the rat smartly took a few steps back, but not enough. As Frodo landed on the hard ground with a bang, he immediately sent a roundhouse kick towards the rat.
Bravely it stood its ground and used its little arms to protect its rat face, but it was no use as Frodos kick was quick to send the furry rat flying. The thing only managed to let out a final squeak as it broke in two in mid air and exploded into dust. Its bone fragments flew harmlessly around as Frodo spun around and turned to face the remaining undead.
Pumping his fist in victory, Frodo felt a bit underwhelmed but still said. "Hell yeah, I killed something! My first fucking kill ever!"
Though it wasn't over yet, the undead were still moving and from the alley's three more rats came. They pointed their fingers squeaked and sent their zombies and unarmed skeleton warriors forward.
Seeing it Gimli, Aragon, pippin and Merry quickly formed a small circle around the wounded Sam. Firing their arrows Pippin and Merry were quick to take out a few zombies as Gimli went in swinging his axes.
Starting out with the zombies rotting legs, Gimli chopped them down to his short 150 centimeter level, after which he cut their necks and sent his blades to their dead brains. One after one the zombies fell under his axes.
Aragon though held strong in his spot, wooden shield raised and rusty old sword at the ready. Frodo on the other hand was using his armoured fists to smash zombie heads and charged towards the big zombie.
***
Back at the port Nine busty chicks were totally gossiping amongst themselves. "Oh my Goddess, did you see how that one guy was looking at me? I mean I was like, oh no, and he was like oh yeah, hello there, you know. I guess I too was like well hello there, but like no. Although he does look kind of handsome I guess, with his muscles and everything."
Hearing this another busty chick said jokingly.
"Yeah sure, as if he was checking you out. I mean I've got the shapelier butt here, so obviously he was checking me out if something. Not that I care about that."
To this a third girl frowned at as she spoke her mind. "Iyu, you guys are totally disgusting. Just why do the either of you care about what those guys think? They might be like really muscular, tall, have nice faces and all that, but don't be fooled sisters. They are animals, they are dangerous, you can't trust any of them. For they are men. Just keep your distance ok."
Then a short stacked chick pointed to the sky and said. "Hey look, what's that in the sky?"
***
At the center of town, within the church of light that shined its light upon the town, six beings of light awoke. With bodies made of pure holy light and golden angelic armours above. The beings sensed the disturbance in town and with a few flaps of their angelic wings they flew out the church door and took to the skies.
***
Looking at the big man before him Frodo prepared himself to take the man's club within his bare hands, but was then blinded by a bright golden light. Then a cold, emotionless, heavenly voice echoed throughout the town of Bree saying.
"Violence is not tolerated! Halt your actions immediately or prepare yourselves to be purified by the holy light!"
Then a heavy bang was heard of something landing before him as Frodo was then pushed slightly backwards due to the heavy shockwave. Dust was kicked into the air and as it cleared alight, he could see the Angelic Knight standing there above the now dead big zombie with a Golden holy spear in hand.
Seeing this Frodo felt that it was now time for them to go. He might have only gotten first blood on an undead rat and smashed two zombies, but he didn't care. So with some reluctance he yelled at the others. "Get to the ship! Aragon take Sam and run!"
Grabbing the wounded Sam Aragon then started to run with the little man on his shoulder. While Gimli, Pippin and Merry ran on their own as Frodo followed from further behind.
Undead led by the three rats came running out the town's alley ways. They came in big numbers, but seemingly had lost all interest in Frodo now and just charged at the six golden angelic warriors.
With holy golden spears the Angel knights cut down the waves of mostly unarmed undead with ease. Their spears seemed to burn through the undead. Each slash set the creatures slightly aflame in a holy golden light as the purification of the undead continued.
Frodo stopped some ways away and looked to the Angel Knights in amazement. Within the church of light, their churches not only healed gave light and fertility to the land, but from their crystals a certain amount of Winged angelic knights always came.
Although fearing the Angelic Knights judgement himself Frodo was quick to turn towards the docks and continue to run. With haste he ran to the small fishing boat and joined the others.
Releasing the boat from the docks they quickly hopped on board and so the 6 were off. Although it quickly became apparent to the six that none of them actually had any idea how to work a boat with a sail.
All they could do was row and row around and around before the docks, until they finally got the hang of it and managed to move their boat out of the docks.
***
At the same time Nine curvy beauties were making their own escape from the town on their own ship. Tiers were in their eyes as they realised that Brave Imperiel along with his brothers had perished and now those Winged Knights roamed the town wiping out whatever undead they could find.
To them the winged Knights seemed so scary. They were quickly demoralised and frightened away. They had already suffered enough humiliation because of this quest of theirs and needed some rest before continuing again.
Like so the two parties unknowingly made their escapes at the same time towards the open sea.