After my meetup with Yume, and the call with Midori, I visited the library in hopes to talk to my manager about changing my shifts. Now knowing that my manager is actually quite fond of Yume, I started to look at him in a new light, however he seemed quite adamant about not having me work weekends. It was only when I brought up Yume's name and me wanting to catch some time with her did he offer me a compromise.
The compromise would be that I'd get Thursday's off in place for working a shorter shift on Saturday. All in all, I work less hours, but since weekends are also quite busy, I'll still end up earning the same amount of money as if I'd be working the Thursday. However at the back of my mind, I remember the phone call I had with Midori.
She seemed a bit off when I brought up the fact that I thought about working weekends. I wish I could talk to her in person to try and get a better understanding, but I have no idea where she even lives.
"Ah..."
That's when it hit me...
I could've just told Yume my address. That way I could maybe keep my weekend open and Yume could just come over to my apartment. I guess I could talk about this with my manager the next time I'm at work. Maybe I can go back to working Thursdays the following week, but I can't change it back now since I'm expected to see Yume there. Wait...
"I'm such an idiot..."
I didn't even need to work! On the weekend, I could just hang out the the library as a customer, not as a worker!
The realization of such a blunder hits me as I collapse on my bed. I was so hung up on the idea of getting information about my sister that I didn't think of something so obvious. I guess it's true when people say that love is blind, huh. With that said, I should probably let my manager know now rather than later.
I end up texting my manager about taking back the idea of me working on Saturday and to go back to working like I normally do. I feel guilty about being wishy-washy like this, but it seems like the manager had yet to make the new arrangement, so in reality, I just gave him less work to do. With that settled, I just need to make sure to be at the library on the weekends in hopes to meet up with Yume, and if she happens to come during the rest of the week, at least I'll be working, making for zero chances for me to miss her. But I guess I should let Midori know as well. She seemed a bit off during that whole thing as well...
Luna: "Hey, on second thought I'll stick to working on the weekdays and not the weekends. It didn't occur to me until now that I could just go to the library as a customer, haha."
I quickly type up a response before pressing send, but even after ten minutes had passed, my message was still yet to be even read. I guess she's still busy with her mom? Well, she'll read it when she has the time and I've double checked that it is in fact sent, so I put my phone away for now as I instead reach for the stuffed bunny plushie before holding it in my arms, staring up at the ceiling above me.
"Just wait a bit longer Reina... I'm coming."
.....
...
.
-In another's perspective, far away...
Home... It's meant to be a place filled with warmth, yet now it's turning into something straight from one of my nightmares...
"Grandpa..."
"...Ah~ Reina... How was school?"
"It... was okay."
It's the weekend yet grandpa still thinks that I just came back from school... In a way this is worse than my nightmare. At least with dad, he just passed away after saying a few words. Seeing my grandfather deteriorating like this is just cruel... But I need to keep my smile for him, even though I know he'll most likely forget about it by tomorrow. Despite that, he still has the energy to pat me on the head as he lies down in bed like this. His hand ever so gentle which matches the soft smile on his face, as if he's clueless as to what's happening to him; a blissful ignorance.
"That's good to hear."
"Mm..."
In a way, I'm envious of my grandfather. He's forgotten many things now, some more recent, but he has also forgotten memories from long ago. One of which being-
"..."
In the other end of the room is my grandmother, silently crying as she watches us. It happened two days ago, when grandpa suddenly forgot who she was. My grandma and I managed for the longest time, but that was when my grandma reached her breaking point. Since then, she has left me with dealing with grandpa instead. I don't blame her...
Being able to forget a loved one... I'm envious of it. I can't help but think of sis... Even now as I feel grandpa pat me gently on top of my head, all I can think about is sis, and the memories I have with her... All it does is bring me pain, so recently I've been wondering if grandpa's condition is contagious. I know it's stupid to think that, but it's probably one of the reasons why I've taken on this job of looking after him, trying to maybe help with this empty pain in my heart.
But that would all come to an end the next morning...
I woke up to the sound of my grandmother screaming and crying as I quickly rushed over to where the sounds were coming from. There, I saw her hunched over grandpa's bed, her head rested on his chest as her long, grey, unkempt hair covered most of his body. I could only think of one thing that could've happened, and even after waiting for a few more minutes, there was still no sign of breathing.
It didn't take long for emergency services to arrive after I had called them. It wasn't the first time grampa had been rushed to the hospital, but I feel like today might be the last...
My grandma and I took a ride in the ambulance with him as the sun was yet to rise. Even so, that didn't seem to matter to the driver as we got to the hospital in no time at all. Throughout the entire ride, my grandma was balling her eyes out as she held onto grandpa, only moving when the paramedics needed her to move away. I however paid more attention to the paramedics themselves, and it only took one look of them to know just what they thought about the situation...
It didn't take too longer after getting to the hospital that my grandfather was pronounced dead. I saw it coming, but my grandmother immediately broke down once again, leading me to hold her closely, letting her cry out as much as she needed, staining my shirt in her tears as I paid attention to the doctor, listening to everything he had to say.
The doctor essentially summarized that grandpa's brain reached it's limit. I never knew dementia could be fatal until now. I always thought that people died from it because of falling or other accidents. The doctor praised us for taking care of him this far in as he said that his death couldn't have been painful having passed away in his sleep. However, I really feel for my grandmother right now. It wasn't long that grandpa started to forget about her, and now he just left her like this. I fear about how we'll be going from here.
"Sorry, Reina."
"It's okay, grandma."
When we got home, we sat down on the couch as I looked her in the eyes. Her eyes still swollen from earlier and even now, it still looks like she's on the verge of crying yet again. I have to be strong... For her.
"At least he passed away happy."
Thinking back earlier, when I came into the room, seeing grandpa like that, he didn't seem to be in a shred of pain in the slightest.
"Reina..."
But the same can't be said for grandma.
"I can't support you like this."
"What do you mean?"
"With your grandfather gone, I don't even think I even have the money to continue to send you to school."
"What?"
It didn't occur to me that grandpa would still be making money. Well, I suppose he was getting paid with his pension on top of his disability. I guess that's what grandma's talking about.
"I'll try and organize you to live with someone."
"Wait, wait. What about you?! Who will take care of you-?!"
Cutting me off, she held out a flyer which advertised a retirement home for the elderly. In that moment, I was left speechless, not knowing what to say further.
"You don't need to worry about me, okay?"
"..."
"Hey-"
She raises her frail hand up to my cheek as her warmth helps to melt away the stiffness I've been feeling in my face.
"I'll be alright. I'm more worried about you, Reina."
"But then where would I go? Will I still be able to visit you?"
"Of course you can. Hehe, in fact I hope so."
"...If it's money then I don't need-"
"No. You have to go to school, Reina."
Before I could even suggest me working full-time, my grandma looks at me with a stern, yet soft look.
"I don't want you sacrificing any more than you already have."
I follow her gaze to the chair next to the table not too far away where my scarf is wrapped around it, the scarf I was left with when I was separated from sis...
"So I want you to live... Okay?"
"...Okay."
After my talk with grandma, I went back into my room as I collapse on the bed. It's not even noon yet I feel so exhausted. Looking to my side, I grab the black stuffed bunny plushie as I wrap my arms around it, tucking it under the scarf that I had around me as it's comfort spreads throughout my body.
"Sis..."
I wonder if she still has hers... Is she perhaps holding onto it the same way I am now? Thinking so, I squeeze the plushie tighter.
"What's going to happen?"
This feeling of uncertainty, not knowing what will happen... It's terrifying. It reminds me back during that time when all of this happened. Do I have to start all over again? Who's going to take me in? Where will I go? Thankfully I didn't make any friends in school so it's not like I have to say goodbye to anyone. Well, there is Yume, but I'm not too bothered by it. But I suppose I should tell her... If there's anyone in school, then if I'm going to be moving, I'd like to at least tell her.
"Haaah!"
Resting on my back, I stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out if there's a better solution. Grandpa's death was unavoidable, a predestined outcome, and to that, I feel a bit envious. For me, I have no idea what my future will be like. Will I ever see my sister again? Or my brother? With my grandpa's death and my grandma planning on leaving to a retirement home, they're the only other family members I have...
("Aha! Papa! Higher!")
("Alright, Hup~!")
("Ahhahah!")
("Me too! Me too!")
Memories of our family playing at the local park flash across my mind, memories of our dad pushing my sis and I on the swing.
At the time, looking so high up in the air as the swing reached it's peak, I felt like I could see the world. Of course that never beat the time on that ferris wheel... But now I feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper in this bed.
("Sis! Look!")
("Ah! There's so many!")
Birds, a whole flock of them soared above our heads as we swung on the swing. I still remember the feeling of wanting to join them, feeling as though if our dad pushed us a bit higher then maybe we could make that come true. Of course it's stupid to think about now, but sis and I were so young. Still... If I had wings, I feel like life would be so much easier. I could search far and wide for her instead of saving money for train rides. Wait... Maybe I could still do it.
Sitting up, I reach for my drawer, pulling out all my savings that I had gotten from my allowance from my grandparents. I've used it to travel in order to find sis, but I could never go too far out. The furthest city I've been was last week and that took out a large chunk of the money I had. But if I'm going to be moving, then maybe I could search other places even further away...
"Alright..."
Filled with a new sense of determination, I clench the money in my hand before putting it it back in the drawer. I guess for now, I'll try and help grandma in trying to find a place for me to go. As long as it's more south of the country, then that'd widen my options to looks for my sister. I'm not sure how much influence I'll have, but I have to give it a shot. I don't care if I need to spend the rest of my cash to do it...
"Wait for me, sis."
- Volume 1, Fin~
Author's Note:
Thank you all so much for reading the first volume of "The Fault Between Us." After my first novel, I feel as though I've improved quite a lot, so I hope that I have captivated some of you and I hope to see you all in the next installment. This is purely a passion project but I'd like to one day actually earn money from my works, even if it can just pay for my coffee, haha.
I never would've guessed that I would fall in love with writing and I don't expect to stop anytime soon. As a matter of fact, I'm currently saving for a digital tablet in hopes to learn art so I could create illustrations of this work along with my previous works.
At the end of the day however, it makes me happy in knowing that I've created something to leave behind in this world. Even if no one reads this, it fills me with a sense of fulfillment that I never thought I could achieve. I just hope that you, the person reading this have felt something from reading this, and I'd love to hear from you <3
<3 Much Love: Dubsora <3