(ONE MONTH LATER)
It was one of those days Lily and I spent the evening playfully running around the forest, capturing grasshoppers and chasing squirrels. As we climbed down a huge tree, she surprised me by planting a kiss on my cheek.
I was too stunned to speak and before I could gather my thoughts, she gently kissed my lips again.
My hands went to skim my mouth, and huge olive-green eyes gazed back at me.
"Lily..." I started to say when suddenly, she turned from me and bolted.
I dashed after her.
"Lily! Wait!"
It didn't take long for me to catch up with her. I got hold of her dress and pulled her back. "Lily!"
"I'm sorry. I failed to use my senses"
She was too embarrassed to look up at me.
"It is fine," I said quickly, my heart beating unevenly in my chest, not because I had run but because she was so close to me.
Lily looked at me, "You have beautiful eyes, Azzy" she whispered, her hand coming up to touch my face.
I was speechless.
"I have to go," she said stepping back.
"But I don't desire you to leave" I blurted, trying not to sound breathless.
My heart was racing, her presence messed with my senses.
She glanced down shyly, a small smile on her face as she tugged at the end of her small black dress, "Bring cherries for me tomorrow"
With that, she turned and left.
After that day, Lily didn't show up for two weeks and I was troubled.
I kept visiting our favorite place every evening, hopeful that she would return one day. Then, one evening, just as I was about to leave she finally showed up.
"Lily?!" I exclaimed, half angry, half delighted.
"Azrael," she said quietly, standing some meters away from me. Her gaze did not meet my eyes. "You've grown an inch taller"
"What happened? Why didn't you come? I was worried" I started to come towards her but she shuffled back and stared at her feet.
"I'm sorry, I wanted to but my mama didn't let me"
Lily wasn't looking at me, and it only infuriated me further.
"Does my presence irk you? Do you not desire to see me?" My voice conveyed my anger and hurt "Why do you keep your distance?"
She responded softly "I just have the flu, that's all. It is not my desire to afflict you with it"
"I don't care if you have the flu" I drew nearer and grabbed her forearm before she could move back again. "Look at me... please"
She exhaled deeply and lifted her eyes to meet mine.
I stiffened. Both sides of her face were bruised, and her eyes were hollow.
"Lily..." I whispered, my fingers moving to give her face a gentle caress "What happened?"
She stepped away from me and shook her head "It's- it's nothing"
"Tell me"
"One of my mother's patrons tried to grab me again, so I spilled some ale on him. He got filled with rage and struck me with his fists, landing several blows before others could intervene. My mother said I should've let him have his way"
Lily stifled a sob, her voice trembling "I didn't want you to behold me in such a state, so I took time to heal my wounds. I could've waited longer till they were fully healed, but I had to see you"
I fumed, my face reddening. "I'll kill him. I'll kill them all!"
"No" She replied, shaking her head "No. I am fine"
"You most certainly are not... how could you possibly be? Your face. Your..." I released a deep breath and scrutinized her worriedly. "I'm sorry, Lily. How bad was it?"
She fought back the urge to cry. "Really bad. I do not wish to remember"
Then she smiled that radiant smile of hers and continued, "But that is all in the past now."
Lily touched my face. "How are you?" She asked softly.
I reached for the opening of my shirt and pulled it down to show her a healing scar.
"I'm getting better"
She gasped loudly, "Azrael..."
"Do not worry, it wasn't a vital spot. It was but a minor flesh wound and I didn't feel the slightest discomfort when I got stabbed there"
I pressed her hand to the scar.
"See? It doesn't sting. Pain is something I'm starting to grow accustomed to"
Lily nodded slowly, not looking entirely pleased. "But, Azrael, I'm not comfortable with you being treated this way"
"Well, my uncles haven't exactly left me with a choice, have they?"
I changed the topic and gazed at her lovingly. "When we come of age, we will take our vows beneath the shade of a majestic tree as the sun sets"
Lily burst into giggles "Azrael, what has come over you? We are a decade and three. How can you even be thinking of marriage when there are things of far more import to consider?"
"I know, that is why I said when we come of age" I explained "And I am serious about wanting you to be my bride"
"Oh, Azrael" She blushed deeply, but shook her head in disapproval "Now is not the time to jest with me"
I pulled her to myself again "But, I do not jest, Lily. Someday we shall be together"
My face was set in a stubborn frown. "Yes, my parents might not approve at first, but with time, I could convince them"
Lily exhaled "You leave for home in about a month"
"A month and a few weeks, but that is not a cause for concern. We shall trade letters and I will return for you. I swear it, Lily"
She looked sad "When you return to your home and you meet other girls far prettier than me, your memories of me shall fade"
I threaded my fingers in hers "No. That is not true. No one can take your place in my heart"
"That is what most men say" She turned to back me.
"I am not most men" I smiled and continued wittily "And besides, I'm still a young lad"
Lily pushed my chest playfully and huffed "I have heard you"
Suddenly, there was a ruffle in the shrub and a baby squirrel came into view. The little furry creature appeared to be bruised, its eyes wide with fear.
Carefully, I approached the wounded creature and picked it up by the tail, swinging it back and forth, laughing as it whimpered in pain.
"What are you doing?" Lily sounded alarmed. "Azrael, put it down, can't you see it's in apparent pain?!"
I chuckled, dangling it by the tail. "It's just a squirrel, Lily. What good would I do if I let it go now? I'm certain it shall barely last the day"
Before she could respond, I slammed the head of the animal against a rock and Lily screamed, tears falling from her eyes.
"Why did you do such a thing??!!" She yelled, rushing forward to push my chest.
She sounded angry and disappointed. "Why?!"
I guffawed, surprised by her reaction. "It's just an animal, Lily. It was bound to die anyway"
"I cannot believe my ears right now!" She shook her head and started to stalk off.
"Wait... Lily" I chased after her.
She whirled around sharply to face me. "Have you no heart??!"
I remained quiet. Conflicted.
My compassion had started to wane ever since I'd been staying with my uncles. Their influence was rubbing off on me.
"Do you regret what you did?" She asked again.
"No," I replied.
"Then, I have nothing else to say to you. Farewell," She continued to stalk off.
"Lily, wait. It was just a squirrel. Its life is devoid of purpose... meaningless".
"No life is devoid of purpose, Azrael," Lily replied angrily "Slaying that innocent, harmless creature shows you lack a sense of compassion, and I shall not entertain such callousness!"
She left me standing there speechlessly. Once she was gone, out of anger, I picked up the dead animal and continued to smash the head into a rock repeatedly.
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Later that night, as I ate dinner with my uncles, I couldn't help but think back to how Lily had left in anger after I killed that squirrel. Geta's laughter pierced through my thoughts, bringing me back to reality.
"So, Azrael," Lucius began. "You're aware the morrow is a day of training. I trust you are prepared?"
I nodded, my gaze not leaving my plate as I picked at my food. "Yes, Uncle Lucius. I've been practicing every day in my chambers."
"Good. You'll be facing Dacianus" Geta said.
"Fortune smiles on you once more. You're aware he's far less stern than either of us."
"Still, try not to embarrass yourself in front of us, okay lad?" Lucius added, glancing at Dacianus who ignored them and continued with his food.
I forced a smile, my discomfort growing with each passing moment.
Just then, a rat scurried by, catching Geta's attention.
In a blur of motion, he snatched it up in his hand.
"Well, well, look who we have here," he chuckled, holding up the struggling animal. "Seems like this little fella wants to share our meal. What shall we do with it?"
"A foolish question. Dispose of it, Geta," Dacianus interrupted sternly. "It's filthy and disgusting."
Ignoring the warning, Geta tightened his grip on the rat until its head exploded, sending blood splattering across his face and shirt.
Lucius and Dacianus recoiled in disgust.
"By the heavens, Geta!" Lucius exclaimed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Do you always have to make such a bloody mess?!"
"Get yourself cleaned up" Dacianus ordered angrily "And change your clothes. You're not fit to sit at this table in such a squalid state."
Geta curtsied mockingly "Yes, Mother"
He left and returned a moment later, looking clean and in a change of clothes.
"There, delighted now? Or is my mother still displeased" he asked mockingly, dropping into his seat.
His question was met with silence, but Geta persisted. "You know what that little incident reminded me of?" He asked, an evil glint in his eyes.
"No one wants to hear about your past misdeeds," Dacianus replied.
"When I had Darcia's first pet killed!" He released a peal of laughter and Dacianus sighed, shaking his head.
Lucius guffawed "That one is quite the tale" he looked at me. "Your mother did not let things go so easily"
Geta grinned "Ah, those were the days."
"But can you blame her?" Dacianus turned in his chair to look at Lucius "It was a very beautiful dog."
"It was still an animal" he answered back "Animals are feeble creatures. Their life is fleeting"
"Yes," Geta leaned into his chair. "They exist only to entertain us"
"Like that time Andrei battled a lion. Goodness! He was such a man!"
I listened in silence, my mind going back to the baby squirrel I had killed some hours ago. In that moment, I couldn't help but feel a sense of validation for my actions.
After all, if my uncles believed that all animals were feeble, then surely the life of a mere squirrel meant nothing.
But deep down, I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that gnawed at my conscience.
I knew that what I had done was wrong, that no life deserved to be taken so wickedly.
But, in the presence of my uncles, with their ridiculously high expectations and constant demands for perfection, it was easier to bury those feelings deep inside and pretend that everything was fine.
As my uncles finished their dinner and prepared to head out for their usual hunt, while I retired to bed, I pushed aside my doubts and fears, bracing myself for the training that lay ahead.