[POV. Kilin]
It had been days since I last saw Naina. Days since I heard her laugh, felt her warmth, or even heard the sound of her voice. The silence was unbearable. Every time I pulled out my phone, my fingers hovered over her contact, but no message ever seemed right. I couldn't seem to find the words. And every time I convinced myself that maybe I was being too dramatic or maybe she had just needed space, I'd check my phone and see the dreaded "Unread" next to her name.
I had sent dozens of messages. Dozens of things I thought I needed to say. Things that I had bottled up for far too long.
But none of them ever went through.
Kilin: Naina, can we talk?
Kilin: I miss you. Please pick up the phone.
Kilin: I can't stop thinking about you. Please just let me explain.
I stared at the screen, staring at the unsent messages, hoping she'd reach out. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'd forgive me.
But nothing.
Every time I saw the "Read" indicator on my messages, I felt like my heart was being ripped out all over again.
---
[POV. Naina]
The phone buzzed, and I sighed, resisting the urge to check the notification. I knew who it was. Kilin. Again.
The messages had started right after the separation. Every message, every call, each one a reminder of everything I had tried to move on from. Each time I read his name on my screen, it hurt more than the last. It was like opening a wound I had desperately tried to heal.
I couldn't keep doing this.
I had to move on. For my own sanity.
So, I didn't reply.
I didn't reply because I was scared. Scared that if I did, everything would unravel again. Scared that I would fall back into the pattern of loving him when I knew it was wrong.
I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling the overwhelming rush of emotions.
I couldn't go back.
I'd sent a message to Ruina earlier, asking her to meet up, but even as I texted it, a part of me hoped that it wasn't just to escape the pain of waiting for another message from Kilin. I was scared. Scared that I was losing myself in this mess. That I was caught in a loop of feeling something for someone who couldn't be a part of my world anymore.
Another buzz. Another message from Kilin.
---
[POV. Kilin]
I couldn't understand why she was ignoring me. I wasn't asking for anything big. I just wanted to hear her voice, to make sure she was okay. Was that too much to ask?
I had tried sending her a simple "I'm sorry" at first, hoping she would take it seriously. But the silence that followed was deafening.
Kilin: Please, Naina. I know I messed up. But I can't just walk away from you. Can we just talk? I need you to listen to me.
I stared at the screen, desperately willing the little typing bubble to appear. I waited.
But there was nothing.
For the first time in a long time, I felt small.
I had spent years in the spotlight, always in control, always having people around me. But right now, at this very moment, I had no control. I was at the mercy of her silence, and it felt like a weight I couldn't carry.
---
[POV. Naina]
I stared at the text, my thumb hovering over the screen.
"Please, Naina. I know I messed up. But I can't just walk away from you. Can we just talk? I need you to listen to me."
His words stabbed at my heart. I couldn't help it. I missed him. I missed the way he would say my name, the warmth of his smile, the way he made everything feel like it could be okay.
But I had to be strong.
I had to stop pretending that we could still have what we once had.
I took a deep breath and typed out my response. It was short. To the point.
Naina: I can't do this anymore, Kilin.
I stared at the words for a long time, watching them blink back at me on the screen. Every part of me wanted to delete it, to send something different. Something more hopeful.
But I knew it wasn't right. I couldn't go back. I couldn't allow myself to get lost in the fantasy of a love that wasn't meant to be.
I hit "send," then locked my phone, trying to force myself to breathe.
---
[POV. Kilin]
When the message came through, I couldn't breathe.
"I can't do this anymore, Kilin."
Those words hit me harder than I had imagined. They felt like a slap to my face, a cold, hard truth that I wasn't prepared for. I stared at the message, waiting for her to say something else, to follow up with something to give me hope. But nothing came.
The silence felt like it was suffocating me.
I stood there, in the middle of my room, staring at the phone in my hand. I had wanted to fix things. I had wanted to make it right. But now… now I wasn't sure what else I could do.
I typed back, my fingers shaking as I wrote the words I had been holding back for so long.
Kilin: Please don't say that. I don't know how to let go of you. Please, Naina, give me a chance to make this right.
I hit "send," then immediately regretted it.
It was desperate. It was weak.
But I couldn't help it.
---
[POV. Naina]
I heard the familiar buzz of my phone again. Another message. From him.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself before checking it.
Kilin: Please don't say that. I don't know how to let go of you. Please, Naina, give me a chance to make this right.
My heart clenched in my chest. His words were raw, full of desperation. But I couldn't let myself fall into that trap again.
I couldn't go back to that.
I closed my eyes for a moment, my finger hovering over the reply button. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to be the reason for his pain. But I had to protect myself.
So, instead of replying, I just… didn't. I locked my phone again and set it down on the table.
The silence between us stretched on.
I wanted to scream, to let out everything I was feeling, but there was no point. There was nothing left to say.
It hurt, but I knew it was the only way.
---
[POV. Kilin]
Hours had passed since I sent the message. I had checked my phone over and over, willing it to buzz. But it never did.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I had to see her. I had to talk to her in person.
With a sense of determination, I stood up from my chair and grabbed my jacket. I wasn't going to let her go. Not like this.
I was going to find her, no matter what.
---