[POV. Kilin]
I thought I was ready for this.
I thought that standing up for myself—for my truth—would be enough.
But I was wrong.
Everything was crumbling faster than I could hold it together.
---
The first blow came when my upcoming endorsement deal was canceled.
I sat in Jihoon's office, my manager's expression tight as he read the email aloud.
Jihoon: Due to the recent controversy surrounding Kilin Hwang, we regret to inform you that our partnership has been reconsidered. We appreciate your understanding.
I clenched my fists.
Kilin: That's the third one this week, isn't it?
Jihoon sighed. Yeah.
I pressed my lips together, fighting the frustration boiling inside me.
I had expected backlash. I had expected some fans to turn against me.
But I hadn't expected my career to start falling apart overnight.
---
The second blow came during rehearsals.
We were preparing for our comeback performance, but the energy in the room was off.
No one said it outright, but I could feel the tension.
When we finished the final run-through, Suhoo wiped his sweat and sighed.
Suhoo: Hyung, are we still even doing this?
I looked up, confused.
Kilin: What do you mean?
Suhoo hesitated, glancing at Yuan and Ziang, as if waiting for them to say something first.
Ziang: The company is considering postponing our comeback.
I stiffened.
Kilin: What?
Yuan crossed his arms.
Yuan: They're saying the controversy is too fresh. They want to wait until things settle before we perform again.
I stared at him, disbelief crashing over me.
Kilin: So because I told the truth, we have to suffer for it?
Suhoo looked away.
Suhoo: It's not fair, but that's how it is.
I clenched my jaw.
Kilin: And you guys are okay with this?
Yuan exhaled.
Yuan: Of course not. But it's out of our hands, Kilin.
I wanted to argue.
I wanted to tell them that we should fight this, that we shouldn't just accept whatever the agency decided.
But then I saw the exhaustion in their faces.
They were tired.
And deep down, so was I.
---
The third blow came when I saw the numbers.
Our album sales had dropped.
Our fan meetings were quieter.
And worst of all, our fandom was still divided.
Some stayed.
Some left.
And some refused to support me ever again.
I sat in my apartment, scrolling through the news articles, my stomach twisting at the headlines.
"Kilin's Scandal Continues to Damage Star-light's Reputation"
"Should Idols Be Allowed to Date? Fans Still Debating"
"Star-light's Future Uncertain Amid Controversy"
I turned off my phone and leaned back, staring at the ceiling.
This wasn't just about me anymore.
My group was suffering because of me.
And for the first time, doubt crept in.
Had I made a mistake?
---
[POV. Naina]
I saw the way the world was treating Kilin.
I saw the way people who once adored him were now turning their backs.
And it made me sick.
Ruina and I sat on the couch, watching yet another news segment dissecting the situation.
News Anchor: Experts say this controversy could significantly impact Kilin's career. While some fans remain supportive, others have expressed disappointment, leading to a noticeable decline in Star-light's popularity.
Ruina scoffed.
Ruina: Experts? They're just talking out of their—
I muted the TV.
Naina: It's getting worse, isn't it?
Ruina turned to me, her expression softening.
Ruina: Yeah.
I swallowed hard, guilt settling in my chest.
Kilin had risked everything.
For me.
And now he was paying the price.
---
I reached for my phone, scrolling through my messages.
Kilin had texted me a few times.
Kilin: Are you okay?
Kilin: I miss you.
Kilin: I just… I don't know if I can keep doing this.
I stared at that last message, my heart clenching.
He was struggling.
And I wasn't there for him.
I hesitated before typing.
Naina : Do you want to talk?
A reply came almost instantly.
Kilin: Yeah.
---
[POV. Kilin]
When Naina called, I answered immediately.
Kilin: Hey.
Her voice was soft. "Hey."
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then, she sighed.
Naina: I saw the news. Are you okay?
I let out a dry laugh.
Kilin: Do I sound okay?
She didn't answer.
I ran a hand through my hair, leaning against my couch. "I knew this wouldn't be easy, but… I didn't think it would be this bad."
Naina: I'm sorry.
Kilin: It's not your fault.
She hesitated.
Naina: It kind of is.
I frowned.
Kilin: Don't say that.
Naina: But if I weren't in the picture, you wouldn't be losing everything.
Her words hit me harder than I expected.
Because a part of me had been thinking the same thing.
If I had just stayed silent.
If I had just kept pretending.
Would things be different?
Would I still have everything I had worked for?
The thought made my chest ache.
But then I remembered why I did this.
Why I had spoken out in the first place.
I had spent years living for everyone else.
And for the first time, I had chosen to live for myself.
Kilin: Even if I lose everything… I don't regret it, Naina.
She didn't respond right away.
Then, in a whisper, she said, "I don't want you to lose everything because of me."
I closed my eyes. "I don't care about the fame, Naina. I care about you."
Silence.
Then, she exhaled.
Naina: Kilin…
I waited.
But whatever she wanted to say… she never said it.
---
[POV. Jihoon (Kilin's Manager)]
I watched Kilin from across the room.
He looked exhausted.
He had barely been eating.
Barely been sleeping.
And I could see the weight of the world pressing down on him.
I sighed, rubbing my temples.
Jihoon: Kilin, we need to talk.
He looked up, his eyes empty.
Kilin: What now?
I hesitated before speaking.
Jihoon: The company is… reconsidering your place in Star-light.
He stilled.
Kilin: What do you mean?
I exhaled.
Jihoon: They haven't made a decision yet, but if this continues… they might cut you.
For the first time, real fear flickered in his eyes.
Kilin: They'd kick me out?
I nodded.
He fell silent.
And in that moment, I saw it—
The realization that everything he had built was slipping away.
---
[POV. Kilin]
I left the meeting in a daze.
They were thinking of cutting me.
I could lose Star-light.
I could lose everything.
I walked through the empty streets of Seoul, my hood pulled over my head, my thoughts drowning me.
Had I made a mistake?
Had I fought for something that was never worth it?
For the first time since this all started…
I didn't know the answer.
And that terrified me.
---