The night run gives me the best feeling. I usually start from my house, go to the public park, pass the lake and the convenience store, turn to Lost Wood Street, run straight to the corner of the woods, and take myself back to Irin's alley. I will end the run at my house if I run straight without dropping by any place.
"Ha…Ha…" I pause myself and pant so hard at Lost Wood Street. This is the location where I pause myself automatically because I run out of energy or maybe something else. I look at the gas station ahead of me. The exact same place I stopped and saw him. And that scene is playing and rolling in front of my eyes; it's in my head, I know that, but it's so real that my body shivered, and my hands are shaking and heavy like I am holding it, the helmet. The helmet that I used to crush that guy's head.
"Ha…Ha." I breathe in and run ahead through the illusion of bodies lying on the concrete road.
I run through this path every night. I choose this track not just to face my fear or try to handle the madness in my head but if I run until the end of the corner of the wood, I see the house. The empty, lonely house has been abandoned for almost two years. I run there and stop to look, taking my time to let my eyes tour every single part of the house.
Every night I do that.
"Ha…Ha…" I'm huffing loudly. Then, I amble slowly past the house instead of stopping and taking a good look.
No matter how many times I look at it, nothing changes. But I have hope, hope for something or someone to come back.
Then, I walk away, but my eyes lock to something different. There's something behind the fences; the vines are all over them. I step closer to look. It's a motorcycle. My eyes open wide, and my hands move on their own as I swipe the dried vine out to take a good look.
Why is the motorcycle parked there? It looks like the one who parked there wants to hide it, or it's always been there, but I didn't notice.
No, it's never been there before. It's new.
But why in his house?
Ting. My phone rings. "Geez!" I cringe a little.
My heart beats so fast. Then, I take my phone out to see.
Irin: 'Are you still on for tomorrow?'
I type the message and press send.
Me: 'Yes...what time again?'
Ting.
Irin: '10 am. Don't wear something too sexy…I don't want our team to lose.'
"Hehe." I chuckle.
"PFFF." Then, the sound of something against the branches and bushes.
What is that? I flinch again, turn my face around, and glare inside the fences. I put my phone back, take a step back, and slowly walk away from the house.
The following day, on the sports field of the King's Chovgan club, there are many people, primarily students from Apollon Academy and Avana Grande School, and a few parents of the polo players. It is semi-outdoor polo, or arena polo, as people call it. I sit next to Irin, and we wear regular casual outfits, nothing special, and no uniform accessories. James and his friend sit behind us. I wonder if football players are interested in polo games. I was surprised to see the big buff guys sitting on the bench properly, wearing the football team jackets.
"I never thought your boyfriend was interested in polo games," I ask.
"He's not, but," She giggles, "You're here," I say.
"Hehe. I asked, and he told me he wanted to come." She says and glances at the back to James' friend. "And he brought Holland." She says and chuckles lightly. "He wants to be a mastermind, but I know right through him, hahaha."
"Yay!!!!" Then, the cheer is so loud and hurt my ears. Surprisingly, I recognize the pitchy voice that stands out. Irin and I coincidently turn to look at the owner of that voice together. It's Felicia and her friends.
She screams so loud like this, maybe because her golden boy gains some points. I turn my face to look ahead in the field, seeing horses running around. Then, I see the golden hair raise his mallet. His horse is beautiful, very white and shiny.
Suddenly, Irin bumps her hand on my knee and signals to see Felicia, who stares right at me. She looks so furious.
I didn't look at your boyfriend; I looked at his horse. Then I turn my face back to the game.
"Hey," Irin whispers, giving me the eyes to look at the ginger-haired man wearing a blue helmet. He rides his black horse so effortlessly cool, and his right-hand holds the mallet firmly, like how he grabs other things. I can totally see his veins pop up.
"Here, Letizia," Holland calls me from behind, making me flinch a little. He leans his body toward me and places a pink soda glass beside me.
"Thank you," I tell him as I take the glass from his hand. Holland's eyes gaze at me with his light brown color.
I shift my sight to see the game, and then I notice the team's captain swing his mallet and put it over his shoulder while looking this way.
"Oh girl…Tytas looks at you without a blink." Irin speaks enthusiastically. Suddenly, Felicia and the girls in front turn their faces at me.
"Oh fuck…" I mumble. and I drink the whole glass and wish it was alcohol.
One and a half hours gone, the match is over. It's like a day to me. Irin and I hold each other in front of the sports field, waiting for James's car. After car by car passing by, the athletes start to come out.
"It's getting hotter, right?" Irin says.
That's why I pulled my hair up in the bun today. The weather should be getting cold, but there are many people here. The pieces of my hair in front fall and cover both sides of my face.
Vroooommmm.
Suddenly, the sound of a motorcycle ride past the club. It's not the loudest sound, but I can hear it through the cars' engines surrounding the valet area. It's going the right way around, and it starts to disappear. Just like that night, it's soft, smooth tone, it's mildly creeping in, and then it fades to the background. The picture of the bike that I saw behind the fences appears in my head.
I don't know why, but I feel the chill on my spine under my blue dress.
"Back there, Holland couldn't get his eyes off you." Irin says, "He's kinda brave…to come here and watch the games of the enemy." Irin smiles joyfully. Then, Irin calls me back to the present. I shake my head a little.
"Enemy?" I repeat.
"Tytas. He knows that you come here to watch him." Irin says,
"I didn't come here to watch him," I reply.
"Yeah!? Are you sure??... Don't lie to me." Irin raises her voice, but her face is like a little devil. "He asked you to watch him. You said yourself, and you came!" Irin still raises her voice.
"Letizia." the handsome sound of the handsome face calls my name from behind.
"Tytas." I turn to him while Irin pokes her head out from behind me.
"I'm glad you came. Do you like the game?" He asks.
"Umm…I like horses." I don't want to lie, but I didn't pay any attention to the games much.
"Hehe," He chuckles. "I'm glad, then," He says sweetly.
I haven't seen this smile for so long.
"Here we go," Irin steps up and says it clearly while her glares are at Vik and Felicia, who are coming this way.
Tytas turns his face to look and quickly turns his face to me. He comes closer.
"We have a party tonight. If you don't have any plans…"
"Just fucking ask her like a normal dude, man." Vik interrupts. "She's not a royal or anything," Vik adds. "Hahahaha." Felicia and Vik laugh with each other.
"Irin, babe." James stops his car before us and calls her.
James is in the driver's seat, and Holland is getting out of the car. He looks at Tytas and Vik.
Vik steps closer and puts his arm over Tytas's shoulder. Tytas doesn't seem pleased.
"It's a waste of time. Her Highness won't spare her time with us." Vik says with his sly lips.
"See, her mouth shuts like an ice princess, as she always does."
"You're right. It's a waste of time to spend her saliva on you, Vik," Irin says,
"I didn't talk to you, Irin," Vik says,
"We're not talking to you before either." Irin talks back.
"Shut the—" Vik is about to show his tongue.
"What's wrong with you?" I ask bluntly. Vik shuts his mouth, clenches his jaw, and is about to burst out, same as Felicia, holding Vik's other hand.
"Go, wait in your car." Tytas opens his mouth to Vik. "Give me a minute, Will you?" Tytas pushes Vik's chest out.
"Hmpt." Vik makes a sound and pulls back.
"I'm sorry," Tytas says and pauses after saying that word. "It's at my house." He adds.
Then, Holland opens the car door for me, waiting.
"Let's go, Zia," Irin tells me with an upset voice. She gets into the car next to James.
I'm about to get in. Tytas holds my hand lightly, but it makes me turn to him.
"Ignore him if you want to come, then come, " he says, and Vik hears it. He leans his face closer to mine. "Please come, " he whispers.
"Is he going to be there?" I ask even though I know the answer.
Vik's grumpy face is even grumpier.
"He will…but I'll take care of it." He says, "He won't bother you."
Tytas glances at Holland a bit and moves away. I got inside the car, and Holland closes the car door and sits in the passenger seat next to me.
James's driving us to the city. He turns on some music, holding Irin's hand. While Holland peacefully watches the side view, I lean to the backrest and breathe the cool air.
"What a fucking asshole," Irin says. "You're not going to the party, right?" Irin turns around and asks.
I say nothing and shift my eyes to the man beside me. He is already gazing at me, and he quickly hides his eyes.
"Do you want to go?" I ask back, "I'll go if you go."
Irin looks surprised. "That fucking loser will be there." She says.
"So?" I lean my body to her.
"Party, ha? At Tytas's house—what will it be like?" Irin starts to show her interest.
"Lots of drinks, fancy drinks," James says
"Food too, games, pools," Holland adds.
"You've been there?" Irin asks. "Uninvited," James says with a bit of smirk.
"Yeah, hahaha." Holland laughs joyfully. "We wanna know how the Polo boys set the party—so we were—"
"Trashing?" I assume with a little smile.
"Hahaha, you can say that," Holland replies.
"And how was it?" Irin asks
"Like normal rich boy stuff." Jame answers. "But more classy."
"How classy?" I ask.
"Rare drinks, expensive foods, music is their style, you can imagine, not many girls though. " Holland explains.
"So it's like—a bit private." Irin.
"Yes, babe, you can say that," James answers.
"What do you think?" Irin asks. I want to know their secrets, too. "
I tilt my head and chuckle. "Honestly, I want to have fun—you dig the secret. I'll go have a drink, cool?" I suggest.
"Hahaha, yes!!" Irin says happily.
Holland and James look at each other in the mirror. Holland smiles at me a little.
"You drink?" He asks
"Occasionally," I say,
"She drinks with me so many times before," Irin says,
"Really? I never thought that you—are a party girl."
"Ah-ah. You boysss are so wrong about my Zia. And she's not a party girl, but when she's drunk, she's a wild card." Irin says and holds my face up
"I'm not," I say
"Yes, you are. That's why when you drink, you need to be with me all the time, alright?"
"Now I want to see." Holland.
Irin and I turn our faces to him. He quickly stops his smile.
"You guys…want to?…go to the party?" I ask.
"It's not a good idea…trashing their party once is enough for me," James says, but he does not sound quite thrilled.
Holland and James are footballers, and their robust bodies make it quite evident that they are athletes. Stand side by side with other boys—polo boys. People can see the difference, but it was not that dissimilar when Holland stood beside Tytas a moment ago. But the size doesn't tell the pride and power. It's their eyes.
After we visited the ice cream place, James drove me home. Even though the weather is getting colder, I can't deny myself having ice cream. I love something cold: iced tea, iced water, frozen fruits, a chilly breeze. Even though it gives me chills down my spine, I love those feelings.
Coming out from the shower, choosing the outfit for the party, and laying the options on the bed.
"Do you think it's strange?" Irin says on the other line.
"What strange?" I say as I put down the phone and press the speaker.
"James. It's gotta be something more than that…he sounded…sus." She says
"Sus?... He seemed scared." I say,
"Scared?" she raises her voice. "Do you think they're scared of Tytas?" I stay silent while wearing tights in black with a flower pattern. "Or do you mean Vik?" she asks again.
"Perhaps both?" I say softly and sit on the couch next to the window, watching the scenery of the woods. I barely see the shape of the trees because of the dark.
"Hmm…maybe…But what's wrong with that asshole?" she changes her tone. "Why does he keep bothering you? And it's more often than before."
"Oh, remember that day I was looking for Tytas at the field," I say. "Yeah?" She softens her voice. "I met Vik first. He was being Vik, joking with me like usual—but," I pause. "But?" She sounds more interested. "He seemed pissed when he asked me why I asked for Tytas."
"Pissed? Like how pissed?" She asks,
"He grabbed my hand…and didn't let me go," I say.
"What!?" she screams out.
"Until Tytas came in." I continue.
"What The Fuck!"
"I was very confused." I reply, " I'll be right back." I add.
Then, I get up and pick the black short dress, tight on the top and a balloon-like bottom. I get into the walking closet and change it. It suits my silhouette very well, pulling out my long hair and returning to my room.
"Hey, you there?" Irin calls me. "Yeah," I reply.
"I think…he's obsessed with you, Zia," Irin says. "Like for real, think about it, he has always been this way for so long, teasing, joking around…at first I thought he might like you, but…he keeps pushing on your nerves—closer and closer." She adds.
I sigh and spin around slowly to check myself. The black tights on my legs, showing my thighs a bit, are cute. I like it.
"But you showed no interest in him or anybody before, so he was fine…but now you started to talk to Tytas, see him at practice, come to the game and Holland…then, he changed," Irin says.
As I listen to her, I comb my hair and let the wave loose a bit.
"Like a fucking mad dog," Irin says. "He's obsessed with you 100 percent!"
"Irin, he has a girlfriend," I say.
"So? A man like Vik never cares about morals…trust me, he's fucking into you," she replies.
I bite my lips, "They can't take their hands off each other. How can he be into me?" I ask. "But I don't mind a mad dog," I add.
"What!?" She yells through the speaker.
"His obsession might come from a place of something else…I don't think he's into me, Irin…He's just a boy who wants a toy to play with." I say.
"I still—my radar and my detective skill are on point, Zia. I can read him." She insists on her theory.
"I don't care anyway," I say
"You should. And you need to be careful, and mad dogs can bite you in the ass." Irin speaks in a tone of sassiness.
"Hehehe, I told you I don't mind a mad dog; if the obsession comes from love, I'm willing to let them eat my ass."
"Hahahaha, all my, my Jesus." And we laugh together so hard. "Fine, but not Vik. I hate that douchebag."
"Yes, ma'am," I reply.
"In 10 minutes, you'll wait for me at the front door, okay?"
"Yes, ma'am," I say.
Then, I let Irin hang up the phone for me, and I put the lipstick on, sit on the couch again, and look at the view outside. Suddenly my eyes stop at the shadow that is shaped like a big-ass bike.
This motorcycle again. I don't know if it is the same one, but why is it everywhere I go? And why is it on my street?
"Ha…" I gasp out because I see the rider is on his bike, lurking in the dark. Is he watching me?
I don't think he's waiting for someone there. I stare at him from my window. He knows I can see him, right? But why doesn't he ride away?
"Geez—" I say lightly and close the curtain immediately.