°Sofia's Pov°
No! No!! No!!!
I really was not expecting this...I thought the reason why the restaurant was dark was that it closing or something, not this!! How fucking long have we been going out for him to do this?! Yeah..he had told me that he loved me but I thought he was just saying stuff and didn't take it to heart, I even thanked him. Now he's proposing?! Why would he do this?? The employees in the restaurant were staring..it was like four people but it felt like more cause i couldn't breathe or find my voice to say anything. Yousuf hissed as a sign that his knees were killing him. I didn't even realise he was still on his knees. I had to say something...anything!
YOUSUF: Say something honey.
SOFIA: Huh...oh! Uh...why...?
YOUSUF: I..I love you SOFIA.. and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Kids..the whole package. I'm ready.
SOFIA: I...ohh God...I'm..
YOUSUF: I mean I know you're surprised- but...I really want you in my life sofia-
SOFIA: We...we haven't been going out for too long..what are...you doing..?
YOUSUF: I know..its crazy..but...this feels right. I know you're scared...
SOFIA: Scared?
YOUSUF: Yeah..but you have nothing to be scared of...I love you...please marry me?
SOFIA: Ohhh God...the waiters are starring...
YOUSUF: Yeah..I had this planned out with them. So? What do you say?
SOFIA: Uhm...could you...stand...please?
YOUSUF: Huh...why..what's wrong?
I am about to break your sweet sweet heart that's what's wrong.
SOFIA: Listen..uhm...I...I can't. I can't marry you..or anyone at all right now actually.
YOUSUF:What...what are you saying?
SOFIA: I'm saying No. I'm sorry...
His smile starts to vanish in something that looks like slow motion. I have never seen him frown like this. Ever.
YOUSUF: What are you saying?
SOFIA: I'm.. I'm.. saying..I.. can't..-
YOUSUF: So what have we been doing?! Do I not mean anything to you?! HUH?!!!
SOFIA: I..
YOUSUF: What are we doing SOFIA?! I'm asking you!! I mean was it just about sex for you? What are you..sick?!
SOFIA: Hey!! What the fuck-
YOUSUF: No! shut the fuck up!
SOFIA: Wha..what?
YOUSUF: *sigh* I heard stories about you and how you tend to run away when a relationship is starting to look serious. I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I'm.. I'm such an idiot. To think I would be able to change that. You're really not one to settle down.
Wait a minute....People think I wont settle down?!
YOUSUF: And I'm sorry for you. I wish you luck with...whatever...you... you do with your life. Goodbye Sofia.
He left with that...I have never been so dumbfounded in my life. Worse... these bloody waiters saw everything!! They tried to avoid eye contact with me as they slowly head back to the kitchen with the food and wine they were about to bring. Probably to gossip and make fun of me. I couldn't move and I need to get out of here quick!! Clearing my throat... I ignore the waiters as I start walking half confidently to my car, passed two men that were deep in discussion. God I hope they didn't see that mess! Oh who am I kidding??! Pretty sure I'll be on the internet before midnight!!
I try and walk confidently to my car...my driver, takes a quick glance at me as he starts the car leaving the place. I notice another tinted car follow from behind. Godfather. Oh shit..did he see that too? Fuck!! I immediately take off my heels to feel more comfortable..no..to actually run to my room as we got home. I had no idea Layla hadn't left yet and she saw me upset. I fall on the bed as I screamed into a pillow. It's all HIS fault!! I blame that asshole for my inability to love and let anyone love me!! My fear of committing and getting attached!!! I fucking hate HIM!!! Layla rushes to my side as she takes the pillow away from my face.
LAYLA: Dear God!! What happened?? Are you okay? Sof?!
SOFIA: I..I thought you left?
LAYLA: I was about to..then I saw you pull up..I knew something was wrong for you to be hone early. What did he fucking do?! Why are you crying? You don't cry..especially for a man so-
SOFIA: He proposed.
I swear I heard a cricket shirp for like three seconds before layla screamed like a child who just saw her favourite Disney cartoon character.
LAYLA: Ohh. my. Gah...I...I never thought this day would come!! What??!! He really did?? Lemme see the ring!!
SOFIA: There isn't one.
LAYLA: He proposed without a ring?!! Wha-
SOFIA: I said No layla!
Another cricket sound...but this time slower.. and somewhat scary..
LAYLA: You..you..said...what?
SOFIA: I'm not ready!!
LAYLA: What? Do you wanna be friends with Benefits with him forever?
SOFIA: I'm still not ready. I don't wanna get married! Yet.
LAYLA: Okay..okay..yes..you've gone through so much..I get that..but..you have to get over them sof. Okay? I don't think your husband will leave like your father did. I don't think your husband or serious boyfriend will do the things Randy did to you! You have got to stop with the logic that all men are the same!! Cause...there are good guys, really fucking good guys out there. Pls...don't let this stop you from actually getting one. Cause believe me..you're not gonna get one like this.
SOFIA: Okay..I hear you. Okay...so..where's Preston's Dad right now?
LAYLA: What??
SOFIA: Why isn't he with you? Huh? Oh yeah..that's right. Its cause he cheated on you with a fucking whore!! And even when he knew you were having a baby for him leaving you to be a single mother!!
LAYLA: Okay..you gotta shut up...
SOFIA: No..there's more! You actually took him back after the whore dumped him..then what did he do? He got another girl pregnant!! And did you leave him? No!! All because you loved him stupidly!! So don't tell me Men are not the same! They're all fucking wolves in sheeps clothing and they're only good for ruining good women and their innocence!!
LAYLA: Well atleast he only cheated and didn't HIT me all the fucking time!!!
SOFIA: Oh please!.. he hit you emotionally and i know that hurts even more.
PRESTON: Mommy??
SOFIA: Hey honey...we're leaving now. Just saying goodbye to your aunt Sofia.
PRESTON: Oh. Okay..bye aunt sofia!!
SOFIA: Goodbye my baby...I love you everyday!
PRESTON: I love you everyday too!
SOFIA: Ughhhh...Gimmie a nice big hug to prove that.
I refuse to even glance at layla as I engulf my baby in warm hug. Good thing he is a child and can't decipher if I cried or not.
LAYLA: Alright baby..go wait outside. I'll be right with you.
PRESTON: Okay!!
He runs out without a single care in the world...wish I could feel that.
LAYLA: You're sad and depressed...so I'm not gonna stay mad at you. Oh..and you better hope Preston didn't hear a word you said.
SOFIA: I don't think he did...but..I'm sorry. I'm angry-
LAYLA: Ofcourse. You said the truth though. I can't be mad at that.
SOFIA: I'm really sorry. I just...I cannot commit..I don't know how to love anymore-
LAYLA: Its okay. *Hugs sofia* I know you're scared...but you just have to take it one day at a time. You'll be fine. I promise. Okay?
SOFIA: Okay.
LAYLA: Damn...I can't believe yousuf proposed though.
SOFIA: I know! I was not expecting that! I said no and he was so sad. Plus he said there we rumours about me? Like what the hell? People think I won't get married? Ever?
LAYLA: Do you think you'll get married?
SOFIA: Ofcourse!! I mean..yeah..maybe not now..but yeah definitely one..one day. If..if I see 'the one'.
LAYLA: Oooh..you also believe in that too...Good...atleast you're not a lost cause and I still get to be an aunt someday.
SOFIA: Whoa there tiger! One thing at a time huh?! Chill.
LAYLA: What was yousuf thinking? I mean you've been together for what? A month or less and he's proposing?! He barely even knows you!!
SOFIA: I know!! I don't think I even love him. I have never said it back once to him...or anyone..actually..wow.
LAYLA: Yeahhh..I gotta go. You'll be fine?
SOFIA: I have to be. Don't worry.
LAYLA: Okay..I'll call you later.
SOFIA: Okay..bye.
I lock the door as soon as she leaves and return to my dark thoughts and demons. I immediately light up a doobie to relax..still in my dinner date gown...scrolling through my phone for a music that atleast rhymes with how shitty I feel inside. Finally I see one! "Polo G-Barely holdin on" and on repeat by the way. I don't realize when I even drifted off to sleep. It was fast though.
Run!!! That was the only voice I listened to as I untie myself from the white rope. It's raining and I had no idea where I was but I didn't care as I ran through the woods cold and tired. I didn't stop...I heard him roar my name and I almost froze but I still ran. I had no idea where I was running to but I couldn't stop now..I was free!! Or so I thought as my legs get caught in a tree, I fell...crying..I had to leave there!! He cannot get to me. "SOFIA??! COME OUT,COME OUT..WHEREVER YOU ARE" ohhh..God no..please..please..."YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME FOREVER BABY...I WILL FIND YOU". Not today..not ever... I break free from the tree injuring myself in the process but I didn't care or feel it at that time..I was happy and stood up as I was met with the one face I would only describe as the DEVIL. "GOTCHA"!!!!!!
I wake up. Fuck...this fucking dream!! When will it end?! I realize my air-conditioner was on...the highest number. Layla. I'm still in my dinner date gown so I'm basically naked cause I wore nothing underneath. Yes...I was hoping for ass play after dinner..not him proposing!! I check the time...wait..I only slept for fifteen minutes? How high was I?! I take off the gown and head to the shower..I do not need a bathe right now cause I might sleep in there. I don't think I'm gonna sleep at all tonight. After I'm done with shower which took long cause well.. I'm roasted.. I move on with my skincare routine. And I head to bed...I don't bother looking for any night wear as I get comfortable with the soft, thickness of my duvet. I'm about to send a message to my godfather as I do every night as i get a message from an unknown number. "Have dinner with me Ms.ives".