Song Jinxiu was speechless when asked this question. He had never paid much attention to this illegitimate sister, and indeed had never cared about her past, but he was still puzzled.
If Song Qin had been exiled because of ignoring the resentment and the Song family had no future, why did she still want to kill them all?
Song Jinxiu looked at her: "I know that the family has treated you badly in the past, and Third Uncle has rarely shown you kindness, but he is your father after all..."
"But I never wanted this father."
Perhaps it was the first time that she said these words to someone, Song Ru's eyes were a little complicated.
She looked up at her brother who used to be so high and mighty. Seeing his puzzled expression, she suddenly understood why her sister hated him so much.
He is too self-righteous.
I have never put myself in other people's shoes and thought about them.
Song Ru's face was filled with sarcasm. "Brother, you are the eldest son of the Song family and the grandson that grandmother loves. You came into this world with everyone's expectations, but I was not. What I heard the most since I was a child was my father's complaints and abuses against me."
"He thinks I am not presentable, I have no talent or looks, I am just like my lowly mother, I ruined his career and became a stain on him, and he thinks that my mother died but I am still alive."
"But what did I do wrong? What did my mother do wrong?"
The little girl was thin and weak, and her words were very soft, but every word pierced the heart.
"My mother's family suffered a disaster, and she had to go to Yanliu Lane to sing in order to survive, but she was a prostitute, and she was different from the women there."
"She saved money, hoping to redeem herself and leave the capital in the future, to start a small business, to marry a man who doesn't mind her past, and to be someone's legitimate wife. But she met Song Tan."
"It was obviously Song Tan who took my mother by force. He was drunk and did something stupid and was caught on the spot. In order to protect his reputation and stop people from talking, he forced my mother into his house."
"My mother was used as a pawn by the political enemies of the Song family. He used my mother's dying father to force my pregnant mother to have sex with him, and turned his beastly behavior into a romantic affair seduced by a prostitute."
"My mother had a bad reputation and was left with only a straw mat after her death. But he is still the third master of the Duke's Mansion, living a life of luxury. Why should he live a good life?"
Song Ru has always been timid and cowardly. She dares not speak, dares not talk back, and even dares not look people in the eye. She is like a mouse hiding in the dark, hiding herself desperately in order to survive.
But maybe it was her sister who gave her the courage, or maybe she didn't want to endure it any longer.
Song Ru was particularly calm when she talked about those things at this moment: "When I was young, I never understood why Song Tan never looked at me even though we were all children of the Song family. It was not until I was full of admiration and wanted to call him daddy like Song Yuanzhi did, but he slapped me in the face and pointed at me, who was only five years old, and said that a lowly creature like me was not worthy of calling him daddy. Only then did I realize that I was different from everyone in the Song family."
"After that, I couldn't hear clearly for a long time, which offended the old lady who was rarely kind-hearted. She had me beaten again and said that there was no such a slut like me in the Song family. She said that I was as lowly as my mother. Then I was bedridden for another three months."
She looked at Song Jinxiu's gradually pale face and chuckled. His little face was very well-behaved, with a pointed chin and big eyes. He didn't look like Song Qin at all.
"When I was little, I was ignorant and was beaten over and over again. Later, I became a good boy and was beaten less often. I just went hungry and secretly went to the kitchen to keep warm with the residual heat from the stove when I was cold. I just endured the illness by myself and then lived desperately like an indestructible bug."
"Later, I met the man who was with my mother in Yanliu Lane. I then understood why Song Tan hated me so much. Because as long as I was alive, he would have to face his own beastly past over and over again. Because as long as I was alive, he would remember his mother who was killed by him, and the rage he felt when he had a one-night stand and was laughed at."
"He is the third master of the Song family and a noble of the Duke's Mansion. How could he be wrong? The only ones who are wrong are my mother, that prostitute, and the bastard she gave birth to who shouldn't have been alive..."
"Aru!"
Song Jinxiu suddenly uttered a low cry, his face turning pale after hearing the word "bastard".
He wanted to say that it was not like that, wanted to say that she was not as embarrassed as she said, but when he looked at Song Ru's big eyes that were clearly black and white, his throat was dry and he couldn't utter a word.
He never knew these things. He only knew that his third uncle did not like this illegitimate sister and that her background was not so glorious. He only knew that Song Ru was timid and did not like to appear in front of others.
He rarely saw Song Ru in other places in the mansion. She was not seen during the holidays. Even if he asked about her, his uncle would just say "Don't bother with her" and send her away.
"You...can come to see me..." Song Jinxiu's voice was hoarse.
"I looked for it."
Song Ru laughed, "That year, on my brother's birthday, I went to see you with the gift I had carved with great difficulty. You gave me a jade ring and casually gave the little tiger I carved to Song Yuanzhi. As a result, she fell and her head was scratched by the wood carving. The Third Madam punished me by making me kneel in the yard for two days and two nights."
"Later, you came to look for Song Jinnan, and when you passed by the courtyard, you saw me kneeling as punishment. Song Jinnan said that I hurt Song Yuanzhi, so you frowned and scolded me, telling me to keep the sisters harmonious and not cause trouble, and then you left with Song Jinnan."
Song Ru's smile was particularly dazzling: "You are the precious legitimate son, and I am a bastard daughter. If I go to find you, I will pollute your eyes and dirty your place."
Song Jinxiu's throat was churning and his face turned paler. He wanted to say something, but he felt that whatever he said would be wrong.
He vaguely remembered seeing her kneeling as punishment. The little girl looked up with tears in her eyes, looking extremely pitiful. But Song Jinnan said that she had hurt Song Yuanzhi, so Third Aunt punished her to kneel for a while.
He didn't know that the so-called little kneeling lasted for two days and two nights.
"I don't know. If I knew..."
"What if you knew?"
Tang Ning looked at Song Jinxiu, who seemed to be hesitant to speak. His shaky appearance made him feel unlucky.
Every time he would just say that he didn't know, but even if he knew, what would he do? Would he punish Song Yuanzhi and the others for Song Ru, or would he quarrel with the third room for a concubine's daughter?
All he would do was to give her some advice, and then gently ask Song Ru to endure the grievance and keep the peace, just like he had done to him and Song Shulan in the past.
His heart is biased.
Tang Ning looked at Song Jinxiu with ridicule: "Sir Song has always been aloof from the mundane world, but isn't it a little funny that Sir Song is talking about blood relationship with Aru?"
"You can send your parents and relatives into exile, and step on them to stay in the court. Aju is just using some silver to buy off this blood relationship. In terms of cruelty, she is not as cruel as you, Lord Song."